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Thursday, March 18, 2010
Inspirational Use of Knee Socks: La Garconne's Spring Lookbook
My Twitter is pretty much the only place where I like to post pictures of myself wearing "outfits." It's ridiculous, really -- this is a fashion blog, after all, and people like pictures of people! But I am moronically shy, and Twitter seems like a nice, quiet way to be an exhibitionist, nude spammers notwithstanding. This fall my "tweeple" (yeah, that's stupid to say, but I really hate saying "followers," it's not like I'm a cult leader or something!) were subjected to a spate of outfits featuring an unsually high usage of over-the-knee socks -- with dresses, shorts, skirts, all sorts of things. Basically my rule this fall was: if my knees were showing, I had a perfect opportunity to wear over-the-knee socks. And I was really a happy clam this fall, fashion-speaking, because knee socks are the best thing ever. Happily, spring is coming and I can't wait to get back to the sock-wearing! I was reminded of this when I took a gander at La Garconne's lookbook for spring 2010 -- lots of awesome sockage happening alongside the awesome clothing, of course. I wish I could have everything from La Garconne, their selection and general taste being perfectly Euro-gamine, but instead I'll just have to be content with stealing ideas instead of merchandise.
Tags: knee socks, La Garconne, spring, Twitter
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+ Posted by Kat in Fashion | Permalink | Leave a comment | Comments (2)
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
5 Reasons to Make It a "Walrus Wednesday" (With a Little Help from "I Am The Walrus," by the Beatles)
I. PAUL IS COOL AT POINTING. When Paul points, at 0:12, it's so cool! It's so glam, so ahead of its time, so gay in that fake-gay/David Bowie kinda way. It's like Paul knows that, not so very far into the future, everybody's gonna wanna be David Bowie and walk around flamboyantly pointing all the time. And Paul beats them all to the punch, cuz he's culturally psychic. At least when it comes to pointing. (Liz)
II. RINGO IS COOL AT SNAPPING. Actually, he's not. I wanted to say something nice about Ringo, but Ringo mostly looks confused about snapping. (I get it, Rich! Snapping is tricky! For instance, I can't snap with my left hand. But I like your poncho thing, and your classic Lounge Ringo moves at 2:25.) Paul is the best snapper, in the Beatles Snapping Contest; George is the worst, a snore of a snapper. And John hardly even plays, 'cause he's so with-it and also the Best-Looking "I Am The Walrus" Beatle by a country mile. (Liz)
III. GEORGE IS COOL AT MAKING ME WANT TO SLEEP WITH HIM. Usually when dudes stand around looking bored, their mouths slightly agape, a la George Harrison at 0:38 of the video "I Am The Walrus" by the Beatles, I think they're gross and I want to kick them a little. But when George does it, I just want to "do it," with George. So mystifying! So magical-mysterious. (Liz)
IV. THE PART WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE PAUL IS JERKING OFF HIS GUITAR: It happens at 1:36, and then it happens again at 1:41. It's great. The primary benefits of dating dudes who play the guitar (or even the bass guitar!) are 1) it gives you insight into their jerking off style (as demonstrated by Paul McCartney at 1:36 and 1:41 into the "I Am The Walrus" music video) and 2) it teaches you what their face will look like when they are having an orgasm. Guitar Solo Face= Orgasm Face. Obviously. This is not new news. (LJ)
V. THE PART WHEN EVERYBODY SMOKES POT: It happens in the last 70 seconds of the song, except it doesn't happen at all. See, in The Beatles by Bob Spitz, there's this bit about how when "I Am The Walrus" came out, people thought the Beatles were saying "Everybody smoke pot" over and over at the end. Which is endlessly amusing to me, because imagine what life would be like if John Lennon seriously believed "Everybody smoke pot" to be a good lyric? Life would be about 8 zillion times lousier, that's what would it be like. Everything amazing would be vaguely shitty; the whole world would look like it was being filmed in some washed-out/dishwater-y/Saved by the Bell kinda lighting instead of Magical Mystery Tour-ish psychedelic Technicolor. Thanks, John Lennon, for never making us live that boring-bad life. Thank you forever and ever. (Liz)
Tags: Barker loves the Beatles, Boring Bad, David Bowie, George Harrison, I Am The Walrus, jerking off, John Lennon, Laura loves the Beatles, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Saved by the Bell, snapping
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+ Posted by Liz in The Young Person's Guide to the Beatles | Permalink | Leave a comment | Comments (1)
The David Lee Roth Guide To Livin' Right: CHOOSE POETRY (NOT ICED TEA)
"If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you gonna get out of a glass of iced tea?"
Tags: alcohol, David Lee Roth, iced tea, poetry
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+ Posted by Liz in David Lee Roth | Permalink | Leave a comment | Comments (4)
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
From the Spin Archives: Henry Rollins Hearts 7-11, I Heart Julie Brown
Just for kicks, I'm (re-)reading the complete Spin archives, starting with the premiere issue. Here's the best of June 1985.
God! June of 1985 was the most boring month ever, apparently. This issue's kind of a snore, unless maybe you care a lot about the Smiths, "an intriguing new group from England." Three other pieces possibly worth scrolling through:
1. JULIE BROWN: HOMECOMING QUEEN WITH A BULLET?
Oh, Julie Brown! The other Julie Brown. One night last autumn Cathy and I were driving home from a bar and she was all, "I wanna play you this song, it's called 'I Like 'Em Big and Stupid,' and I was like, "Duh, Cathy, of course I know 'I Like 'Em Big and Stupid' - that's, like, my jam,*" and then she put the song on and it was the most fun. My favorite lyric: "I met a guy, he drives a truck/He can't tell time, but he sure can drive!" I soooo miss "Just Say Julie," but this article's sorta dull as dishwater. Sample question: "Do you list yourself as a comedian on your income tax?" Like, really, Spin? The only cool part's when Julie says she wants to make a movie with David Lee Roth, and lord am I sorry that never happened.
It's Tatum O'Neal and John McEnroe, that's who "America's Couple" is. "In a strange, Hollywood way, are John McEnroe and Tatum O'Neal our Prince Charles and Lady Di?" asks the dek, creepy-amusingly. The editorial's gossipy and weirdly angry, and really the only cool thing about stumbling across this story was getting inspired to Wikipedia-research John McEnroe's romantic history and learning he's married to Patty Smyth and that Patty Smyth used to be married to Richard Hell - wow! P.S. Isn't it funny when people think Patty Smyth and Patti Smith are the same person?
3. "THANK HEAVEN FOR 7-11" BY HENRY ROLLINS
If you're looking for incisive and riveting commentary on the unassailable awesomeness of 7-11, you should probably read nogoodforme.com instead of this back-page column by President Garfield. But that pic's kinda cute. No? Yeah, maybe: no. Jon Bon Jovi's waaaaay cuter, obvs:
*Kidding, halfway.
Tags: 7-Eleven, David Lee Roth, Henry Rollins, John McEnroe, Jon Bon Jovi, Julie Brown, Patty Smyth vs Patti Smith, Richard Hell, Spin, Tatum O'Neal, The Smiths
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+ Posted by Liz in Spin | Permalink | Leave a comment | Comments (1)
Dream Dude: Michael "Mike" Nesmith of the Monkees
Mike Nesmith is the only Monkee worth having a crush on. There are no other options.
Davy Jones is too short. I just read on the Internet that Davy Jones was 4'7" when he was 16. That's weird. Then I found this picture, on the Internet. Everything about that picture is creepy to me. Probably to you, too. To anybody! I'm pretty sure Davy Jones is 5'1". So, if you are a babe who is five feet tall,I'm pro- you having a crush on Davy Jones. He's cute-ish. But, if you are a woman of average height, you shouldn't have a crush on Davy Jones. Unless you are a pedophile.
Peter Tork is clearly the dipshit of the century. There is no doubt in my mind that Peter Tork would suck at sex. When I was eleven, I used to always watch this documentary about the Monkees that they over-played on MuchMoreMusic, and there was this one part where Peter Tork talks about his Monkees audition-interview, and the interviewer was all, "Do you smoke?", offering him a cigar or whatevs, and Peter Tork was all, "Not that," all sly, like "heh-heh-heh, I smoke pot," and you could tell that old man Peter Tork just thought he was so badass for that, which he wasn't.
Micky Dolenz is actually kind of acceptable to have a crush on. In my opinion he looks like a) a weird jock who specializes in volleyball b) a sloth, and/or c) a Monchichi doll, but maybe that works for you. The main thing preventing me from having a crush on Micky Dolenz is that sometimes his hair is straight and sometimes his hair is curly, which means that he either straightens or perms his hair. That's what I like to call a DEALBREAKER. Be a man, Micky Dolenz. Accept your natural hair texture.
Mike Nesmith has killer personal style. His hat may be gimmicky, but it's also adorable! The pictures above demonstrate what Mike Nesmith dresses like when he's not wearing his gimmicky hat: adorably. I have such a soft spot for aggressive sideburns. That picture of him with the family is so sweet. His jeans fit him great. Normally I wouldn't be much into that "Triumph" t-shirt, but it works really well for Mike Nesmith. Great job, Mike Nesmith. You know your strengths.
+ Continue reading "Dream Dude: Michael "Mike" Nesmith of the Monkees"
Tags: Coca-Cola, cosmic cowboys, Davy Jones, Dealbreakers, Dream Dudes, John Wayne Gacy, Micky Dolenz, Mike Nesmith, Monchichis, Nikolai Fraiture of the Strokes, Peter Tork, sideburns, the Monkees
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+ Posted by Laura in Dream Dude | Permalink | Leave a comment | Comments (11)
Under Great White Northern Lights Is A Beautiful Movie
And I think the last scene is the maybe my favorite movie ending, of all the movie endings in the world. I want to tell you what it's like but I think you should just see it for yourself.
P.S. There's a screening tomorrow (Tuesday) at the Echoplex.
P.P.S. Lord do I wish I'd been on that bus (at the end of the trailer)!
Tags: buses, Jack White, Meg White, movies, The White Stripes
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+ Posted by Liz in Film | Permalink | Leave a comment |
Love: Bridge & Burn
I love a garment that is so simple and well-executed that it allows you to pretend you are beyond being stylish. It's the type of thing that usually only design snobs and people with acutely sensitive visual instincts can spot right away, and still others will just babble about "effortless chic" when you wear something so beautifully impeccable. But deep down, you know buying something as stealthily awesome as the spring outerwear collection from Bridge & Burn requires huge amounts of research and deliberation and communing with your inner-beingness to make sure that your outside is completely attuned and expressive of your soul. Oh, it's such hard work, being so "effortlessly stylish"! So I understand if you use this as a cheat sheet and just get this super-adorable librarian's jacket for yourself (and that other jacket for your favorite dude--because, hooray, a company that's a score for both boys and girls!) Sometimes life's as simple as seeing a cool picture of a cool jacket and going, "Damn, that's hot!" Because these jackets are: they're also chic, tasteful, classic and thoughtful. (Also: these are pretty reasonably-priced. CLINCHER!) It's okay. Fashion doesn't have to be so much work. These will make you look like you never work at it, you just are.
Tags: Bridge & Burn, effort, effortless, outerwear, work
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+ Posted by Kat in Love | Permalink | Leave a comment |
Monday, March 15, 2010
Imaginary Shopping Spree: Jazz in a Blue Dress from Tavin, a Gershwinesque Skirt-Suit from YSL
On Friday night I went to Little Birds at Tavin and saw four women read from books they'd written - it was Grace Zabriskie (aka Laura Palmer's mom), whose poems are really gorgeous and exciting; Jessica Hundley, who did a slide show of Dennis Hopper's photography; Catherine James, who's the author of Dandelion: Memoir of a Free Spirit; and Pamela Des Barres, who needs no introduction! Pamela read from I'm With The Band and told a story of how when she was a kid in love with Paul McCartney, his voice always had to be the last thing she heard before falling asleep - so at bedtime she'd play a Beatles record, but then if a dog barked or something, she had to get out of bed and play another Beatles song. THAT IS LOVE.
I got to meet Miss Pamela afterward and I told her how I'm writing a book about the Beatles with my friend Laura Jane. "You are?!" she said, very sweetly. I am; it's true. So this is my "I Just Met Pamela Des Barres And Told Her I'm Writing A Book About The Beatles" dress, which is for sale now at Tavin's Etsy shop but originally came from Africa in the 1930s. And here is a photo I took of Miss Pamela, reading a passage from her book about how much she loves Paul McCartney - which is something I too will do someday not so very far from now. It's all happening. (Liz)
THE GEORGE GERSHWIN OF VINTAGE YSL SKIRT SUITS (vintageous.com)
Yesterday I impulse-Twittered, "If ever you're trying to describe my "esse" to a stranger, the made-up adjective "Gershwinesque" is sure to do the trick," and I'm standing by it. "Gershwinesque," Definition 1: buoyant-yet-melancholic; glittering. "Gershwinesque," Definition 2: Viscerally reminiscent of an unknowable past; "mondo nostalgia-inducing." I'm more the first definition, but this YSL skirt-suit is def more the second. I don't understand 2010. Why don't they sell music note-print skirt suits with ruffled waists and collars, like, everywhere? In this day and age. I'd buy them, for one. Or maybe I'd just like to buy this one. I would. You know where I would like to wear this Gershwinesque skirt-suit? To a CONCERT. Not necessarily a Gershwin concert, I mean, "revue"- I don't really go to those. Just, like, any concert. Every concert. "Laura Jane's so cool," would say Dude #1. "She's more than just cool," Dude #2 would interrupt, "She's Gershwinesque." Meanwhile, I'd be sippin' at my Campari & soda with my right leg crossed over-and-under my left, thinkin' about sentences, and snappin' my fingers- Gershwinesquely, no less. "Fascinatin' rhythm!" I'd remark. (Laura Jane)
Tags: Barker loves the Beatles, books, Campari, Dennis Hopper, George Gershwin, Gershwinesque, Pamela Des Barres, Paul McCartney, Tavin, Twin Peaks, YSL
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+ Posted by Liz in Imaginary Shopping Spree | Permalink | Leave a comment | Comments (3)
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Beatles Photo of the Week: Secret Lessons from Paul McCartney Charm School
LIZ: By this time next year I will have graduated egregia cum laude from Paul McCartney Charm School, which is this really elite learning academy that's invisible like Hogwarts but with a far more rigorous curriculum. Like, for examps, instead of learning how to interpret runes and ward off Dementors and repot screaming plants that look like babies, we're studying far more useful stuff like introducing "I'm a Loser" in French and Making Pathological Optimism Work For You. There's even a class devoted entirely to winking! I had a hard time at first - but soon enough I was involuntarily winking at teenagers kissing on bus-stop benches*, and I knew I was really going places. For our final exams we have to ride in an airplane, smoke, wink, answer interview questions, and look superlatively adorable upon getting hit with a pillow - all at the same time! I get all itchy-twitchy just thinking about it, but then I practice hitting myself with a pillow in the mirror and I just know I'll pass with flying colors.
Anyway, all our coursework at Paul McCartney Charm School's really top secret, but I don't think the headmaster'll mind if I share a couple of fairly elementary lessons with you all. Here, two rules for achieving maximum adorability, both taken from Cute Beatle 101:
CHANGE YOUR NAME TO "HOT SOX." But, like, not legally or anything: You've gotta change it in people's minds. Obviously the easiest way to make that happen is to stand around with some tummy-ache-inducingly innocent look on your sweet little face, dressed like a wolf in prison and wearing a shirt that says "HOT SOX" in gigantic font. That's kind of cheating, though. But I bet if you put on your darlingest knee socks and walk around in a gait that's neither strutty nor slumpy, you'll be golden.
LOOK PUZZLED WHILE WEARING A FAUX-FUR TRAPPER HAT. I don't have this down yet, obvsiously. I just look mildly confused and/or bored, and like I'm simultaneously trying too hard and not trying at all. And we can't have that at Paul McCartney Charm School, where attaining just the right level of tryingness is forever paramount. Time to hit the books!
LJ: Meanwhile, across town (to quote Carrie Bradshaw), there's also a John Lennon Charm School! It's called "The Goon Show", and it's run by John Lennon, and me. Me! That's right. Me. Laura Jane Faulds. John Lennon's best friend and confidante. Laura Jane Faulds.
The Goon Show is for the cool kids, the devil-may-care-attituded, the sauce-guzzlin' sorta goofball motherfuckers who think it's straight gay for grown men to wear Max from Where The Wild Things Are costumes. Though trapper hats are totes acceptable. At The Goon Show, we teach beautiful women how to say "Fuck" beautifully. We chainsmoke as if our names were Serge Gainsbourg. We do lots of drugs- the bad ones, and then we cut our necks shaving and wear ratty fur jackets on rooftops. We pin pictures of Paul McCartney to the wall, and then we gouge out his eyeballs with switchblades and draw anarchy symbols on his forehead. We spit at them. We like white jeans. We say terrible things about Jesus Christ, and we have this really fucking funny joke we all do, it's our "thing"- which is that when somebody- anybody (even your Mom!)- says "To each his own," we have to say "I like Hitler!" in response, cuz like, you know, if you really think, "To each his own," you should totally be down with us liking Hitler, so, like, yeah, that's really funny, to us. (We don't really like Hitler, though, FYI. We HATE Hitler!!!) Us goons. We dance like goons, make fun of goons, and make goony faces. Instead of winking, we half-smile derisively. Did I mention the drugs? Yeah. All we fucking do is drugs, over here. Drugs. We love drugs!
That being said- OMG PAULIE PAUL PAUL IS SOOOOO CUTE IN THESE PICTURES OH MY GOD WHAT A SWEET LITTLE ADORABLE BABY PUNKIN SWEETHEART I JUST WANT TO CUDDLE HIM AND GIVE HIM WEE LITTLE CHEEK-KISSES FOREVER AND EVER AWWWWWW WHAT A CUPCAKE, A COOKIE, A LITTLE MARASCHINO CHERRY AWWWWWW I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM PAUL!!!!!!! I love you, Paul.
Tags: drugs are cool, drugz, Hogwarts, Hot Sox, it's cool to do drugs, John Lennon Charm School, Laura Jane plus John Lennon equals love forever, making pathological optimism work for you, Paul McCartney, Paul McCartney Charm School, ratty fur jackets, The Goon Show, thinking caps, wolf prison
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+ Posted by Liz in Beatles Photo of the Week | Permalink | Leave a comment | Comments (1)
Friday, March 12, 2010
Motivational Jay-Z Lyric of the Week: Wasted vs. Wasted
I'm not trying to say I think I'm better than Jay-Z. I don't think I'm better than Jay-Z. Which isn't to say that I think I'm worse than Jay-Z. I don't think I'm worse than Jay-Z. I think Jay-Z and I are exactly equal.
On Tuesday, nogoodforme reader and fellow Cancerian Taylor was kind enough to ask me the exact sort of question that I spend my entire life wishing people would ask me: What are your Jay-Z spirit songs? The answer to that question is, of course, there's only one, which is: The Grey Album version of "Allure".I love it so much more than "Dear Prudence" by the Beatles, which it samples. The lyric "I got a thing for them big-bodied Benzes; it dulls my senses," demonstrates an astounding degree of self-criticism and self-reflectiveness on Jay-Z's end, and I totally, definitely, 100% agree with "The allure of breaking the law is always too much for me to ever ignore." I'm a warrior; a criminal. I love it when Jay-Z calls himself "Young," it's so cute and cool to me. Most importantly, "Allure" by Jay-Z has my name in it. "All the Lauras of the world, I feel your pain," raps Jay-Z. That's ME he's talking about! It's true! I am one of the Lauras of the world, and Jay-Z just ADMITTED that he feels my pain! So that's amazing. It makes me feel really felt, and shit.
There is one lyric in "Allure" that I always loved so dearly- it, you know, motivated me. Then, I realized it isn't a real lyric from "Allure"; It was a mishear all along. Still, I hugely prefer my mishear to the actual lyric, so I just pretend that the lyric is my mishear, still. Although the actual lyric means pretty much the same thing as my mishear, my mishear is undeniably cooler. So, I was thinking, that maybe next time you listen to "Allure" by Jay-Z, you might want to hear the lyric as my mishear, as I do, because it works a lot better, in my opinion.
Here is the real lyric: Man, I'm high off life; fuck it, I'm wasted.
Here is my mishear: Man, I'm high up, like, fuckin' I'm wasted.
Yeah? You know? Mine's so slack and chill. "High off life," is just never a cool thing to say, I don't think. "High off life"? Don't get "high off life." Get high off drugs.
Tags: Allure, Ask Us Anything, Dear Prudence, drugz, Laura Jane vs. Jay-Z, motivation, Motivational Jay-Z Lyric of the Week, The Grey Album
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+ Posted by Laura in Motivational Jay-Z Lyric of the Week | Permalink | Leave a comment |
