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the NOGOODFORME Guide to Picking Up Girls

(Some dudes we'd like to get picked up by. L to R: Spock, John Cale, Peter Wolf of the J. Geils Band)

SAY HELLO, DUH

Awhile this dude was telling about about some "pick-up artist" (or something like that) who basically taught men how to hit on women. His name is Neil something? (Neil Strauss.) Anyway, apparently one of these tricks was this thing of hitting on a girl's friend to make the girl you're actually interested in jealous. Or something like that. It doesn't matter what the particulars are, because this is the stuff that makes the invention of the slang term "douchebag" a total necessity. Dudes, if you are reading this, PLEASE don't listen to this vagina repellent. It might work on femmebots who clog up the Meatpacking District on a Friday night, and hey, if that's your type, THEN WHY THE HELL ARE YOU READING NOGOODFORME? But if you're into a cool, smart, hot girl (who sees through this shit in a second), then a basic "Hi" followed by a genuinely interested question about the book we're reading/magazine we're carrying/notebook we're scribbling in/whatever often works. Sounds simple, but it does work. (Kat)

+ Continue reading "the NOGOODFORME Guide to Picking Up Girls"

Tags: babe conventions, books, chatterbox cockblockers, chatterboxing, coolness resumes, crackers, dudes are so hot, good manners, Halloween, holding your liquor, listening, Peter Wolf, pickup lines, Reputa the Beauta, skaters are hot, smoking

THE COOLEST PHOTOS OF PAUL McCARTNEY EVER!!!!

Way to John Lennon it, Paul McCartney!

PS: Do you think that these are self-portraits? I kind of get the impression that they are. Oh, Paul.

Tags: drugz, John Lennon, John Lennoning it, Paul McCartney, Paul McCartney Charm School

Imaginary Shopping Spree: Jimmy Page's Short-Sleeve V-Necked Zoso Half-Sweater

Buying info N/A

P.S. See? Robert Plant is hideously unattractive.

Tags: Capricorns, sweaters

Who Does It Better: Nurses, Or Italians?

Italians, obviously.

P.S. A fun fact about me is I find Robert Plant hideously unattractive.

Tags: Italians, Madonna, nurses, Robert Plant

Imaginary Shopping Spree: Gorgeous Clogs By There Goes The Neighbourhood!

File this under more of my Spiritually Scandinavian thing: these are the most amazing clogs I've ever seen in my entire life! Designed by Asa Westlund, There Goes the Neighborhood takes your basic Swedish clog and turns them into works of art. Each pair is hand-painted and unique! Sadly, this shopping spree will have to remain in the realm of the imaginary for me, unless some superawesome reader in Stockholm wants to track these down and buy them for me? Yes? Is the Internet as magical as I've heard?

Tags: Asa Westlund, clogs, Spiritually Scandinavian, Sweden

LOVE YR BLOG: Jon Roth of Some Elements of Style

Jon "J.Ro" Roth is a class act from start to finish; I'm looking at his Facebook profile right now and like wildly wowing out over it- Jon sort of resembles the actor who played Richard Alpert on LOST, only with slamming personal style, but he's got those really sick vampire statement eyebrows, and we all know how I feel about great eyebrows. I feel great about them. Celebrity Scorpio Jon Roth as both human and blogger (Some Elements of Style) is one of the only people I've ever "met" ("Inter-met") whose passionate/obsessive mid-20th-century nostalgia rivals my own; now I'm going to come right out and say the lamest thing I'll ever say that is true, which is: Jon Roth is totally the gay Don Draper. He's also really smart about James Joyce and shit, and here is what you get when you scroll down the front page of his blog right now: Sally Draper, The Man from U.N.C.L.E, "greek youth bust" pornography, typewriters, liquor boats on fire, JAWS, mimes=people, boys boys boys, snuff boxes, World War II illustrations, Angelina Jolie, "What Stokes the Stoker?", B-movies about virginity loss, dogs dogs dogs, etc.

Irresistible, yes? Jon also did a very great job of answering his LOVE YR BLOG questions. Read on!

1. Tell us one thing you're really into at the moment that you want the whole world to know about.

Right now I'm really into 'urban exploration', which is a hip way to say 'trespassing on vacant property'. I've always had a thing for abandoned buildings: when I was little my grandma and I would drive out to a half-ghost town in Maryland called Cooper's Island to check out the empty houses. I remember she helped me through the window of this three-story clapboard place, then I ran around and unlocked the front door, and we climbed all the way up to the attic, where the roof had fallen through so you could see the sky and the floor was covered in old blank checks and bird poop.

I think experiences like that sort of cultivated my interest in desolate, forgotten places, and I kept exploring as I got older. In high school I'd drive with my friends to this abandoned asylum complex near Princeton called Skillman, where we could break plenty of rules with no adults around. It might be a creepy habit, but it's also really exciting - it's a bit like you're cast in a horror movie, but the chances are good you'll survive. As a matter of fact, Kristen Davis made her film debut at Skillman in a movie called 'Doom Asylum' (1987), so you can tell I like to visit places with serious heritage.

I just graduated Vassar and left Poughkeepsie, but there are a lot of great abandoned spots up there too. There's the Bennett School for Girls, which has this huge dilapidated Queen Anne building called Halcyon Hall, and I like to think of it as a version of Vassar (another historically female college) that didn't quite work out. Down the Hudson on a little island you can find Bannermans Castle, an old brick building built by a Scottish munitions tycoon to house his explosives - until they all exploded and turned the castle into a ruin. I'm really an amateur with this stuff, but if you're interested I'd check out Opacity, and there's a woman in Poughkeepsie who does a lot of great stuff too at Synesthetic Light.

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Tags: body glitter, fake Christina Aguilera albums, John Roth, LOVE YR BLOG, Ryan Cabrera, Ryan Gosling, Slow Gin Loris, slow lorises, slutty slow lorises, Some Elements of Style, urban exploration

Random Picture Entry: George Harrison and Michael Jackson

This morning I dreamed that George Harrison and Michael Jackson were resurrected for one day, for a ceremony that was a near-exact re-creation of the final scene of Star Wars - only, like, way somber. They were both wrapped in hooded robes and I touched their arms as they passed me by, then went back to my seat and cried into a grocery-store circular in which Bill Cosby was advertising Cosby sweaters.

Tags: Cosby sweaters, death, dreams, George Harrison, Michael Jackson, resurrection, Star Wars, the inside of my brain

May I Present To You... THE HUGEST GENIUS OF ALL TIME

Last night my best friend was like, "Let's get really stoned and watch this video on Youtube of this chick who won Ukraine's Got Talent. She makes sand art," and I was all, "I'm so incredibly skeptical of this plan but I trust you so let's do it," and then we did it.

Honestly? I may as well quit writing right now. The Beatles may as well be an alarm clock, and Ulysses may as well be Skinny Bitch in the Kitch, compared to this girl. Plus, she has perfect hair. In conclusion,

GET STONED AND WATCH THIS VIDEO:

Tags: creative genius, drugz, Ukraine's Got Talent

Snapshot: Listening, Watching, Reading, Wearing, Wanting

+ Kat

Listening: The new Fever Ray cover of Peter Gabriel's "Mercy Street"; and I finally listened to the entire record of Have One on Me, which was slow-going. Sorry, dudes, that album could've been edited way down to one totes brilliant record instead of a decent triple LP. EDITORS. WE ALL NEED THEM.
Watching: We watched Star Trek again at Hudson River Park and it was a real, real treat. I really do hope we're all still listening to the Beastie Boys' "Sabotage" way in the future. And Spock is still hot. And J.J. Abrams and I have the same birthday! That is so exciting to me. Also, footage footage footage...
Reading: The script I'm directing this Saturday! And my shot list! And the September issue of Vogue with Halle Berry on the cover.
Wearing: A dress I got at JCPenney, a cashmere cardigan from Uniqlo and flip-flops.
Wanting: MONEY MONEY GOOD FORTUNE UNIVERSE KEEP GETTING ME WORK I GREATLY APPRECIATE IT THANK YOU AND SPOCK THANK YOU AGAIN STOP

Let's just watch the whole car chase scene in Star Trek, okay? It will make your day:

+ Liz

Listening: Aerosmith & J. Geils Band, whom I saw last Saturday at Fenway Park and it was my favorite
Watching: The Runaways & Mad Men & The Departed, which is a good movie entirely because of its use of "Well Well Well" by John Lennon
Reading: haphazardly selected sentences from a D.H. Lawrence short story collection; To Have Not by my friend Frances
Wearing: Aerosmith shirt & cutoffs & those shoes. But I wish I were wearing high-waist flared jeans.
Wanting: a J. Geils Band shirt & to marry Peter Wolf & also some high-waist flared jeans

Imagine if I was like 'WARNING: THIS VIDEO CONTAINS GOOD VIBES!'??? But it does!

+ Laura Jane

Listening: Poundy footsteps down the hallway. Sounds like somebody's late for work and stressed out about it!
Watching: And oh what an episode of Mad Men it was.
Reading: Still A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man but hopefully by next week the answer to this question will be Ulysses
Wearing: Vans slip-ons with a picture of a skull wearing a headdress; knee-high lace-up Frye boots; bloodshot sleep-deprived eyes; running shorts
Wanting: A puppy just like Davy's "Susie," his handwritten guarantee, and permission:

Tags: high-waist jeans, James Joyce, Mad Men, Martin Scorsese is good at music, Peter Wolf, sleep deprivation, Susie

Heavy Rotation: Duran Duran, The Cure, Don McLean, The Modern Lovers, Brian Eno

Duran Duran, "Save A Prayer"
BUY THIS MP3

Simon LeBon was one of my first big music crushes as a child of the 80s. Those eyes! Those lips! Those strangely arty lyrics! ("Cherry ice cream smile"!) "Save A Prayer" is a pretty underrated Duran Duran song, lacking the iconicity of "Rio" or "Hungry Like the Wolf." You can argue, though, that it's one of the few Duran songs with a fairly coherent lyric. At first you hear something about standing on a street and not wanting to be alone and you're like, "Rent boys! Duran Duran are hookers! That's why they don't wear shirts underneath their jackets!" But then a killer pair of lines nails it on the head: "Some people can call it a one night stand/But we can call it paradise." (Have you seen the video? I don't see much of a one-night stand in there, just lots of paradise. Confusion!) "Save A Prayer" is still moody and seductive, although I don't know how any Duran Duran song can top "Rio," which features one of the few palatable uses of saxophone in 80s pop music. (Kat)

+ Continue reading "Heavy Rotation: Duran Duran, The Cure, Don McLean, The Modern Lovers, Brian Eno"

Tags: baby mannequins, Brian Eno, dance sequences, delirium, Don McLean, Hippie Johnnie, James Joyce, Laura loves the Beatles, seeing through everything you believe to be true, Steven Tyler, The Modern Lovers, The Runaways, writing vs. music

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OUR LAST FEW ENTRIES

+ Who Does It Better: Nurses, Or Italians?
+ Imaginary Shopping Spree: Gorgeous Clogs By There Goes The Neighbourhood!
+ LOVE YR BLOG: Jon Roth of Some Elements of Style
+ Random Picture Entry: George Harrison and Michael Jackson
+ May I Present To You... THE HUGEST GENIUS OF ALL TIME
+ Snapshot: Listening, Watching, Reading, Wearing, Wanting
+ Heavy Rotation: Duran Duran, The Cure, Don McLean, The Modern Lovers, Brian Eno
+ Imaginary Shopping Spree: Nine-Year Old Boys Are The Ultimate "Effortless Chic" Icons
+ My Beauty Regimen, by Laura Jane Faulds
+ We're Obsessed: All The Beautiful Movie Posters at Janefondova.tumblr.com
+ Laura Jane Faulds is Hot for the Alphabet
+ All-Time Top 5: Most Underrated Madonna Songs Ever!
+ WHICH PATH WILL YOU CHOOSE?
+ Snapshot: Listening, Watching, Reading, Wearing, Wanting
+ Random Picture Entry: Jane Fonda & Her Beethoven Sweatshirt

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+ Read entries from May 19 - June 13, 2003