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Tuesday , December 14, 2010

nogoodforme superlatives: Cheesiest perfumes we secretly love

Intimately Beckham by Victoria Beckham

Intimately_Beckham_Her.jpg

I'm not sure if Victoria Beckham is "cheesy." I mean, yeah, sometimes in my mind I call her Poshbot and she does seem to love a spray tan, but despite her unsmilingness, I'm starting to come around to her in this really weird way, mostly because I always appreciate someone who seems to have a sense of humor about herself. (I mean, have you seen those Marc Jacobs ads she did? They're kind of genius. I couldn't even concentrate on the clothes, I was so freaked out.) But one can't deny the cheesy provenance of the celebrity perfume in general -- most are overly sweet, synthetic messes that smell gross to the max. You want to smell like a corpse rotting in a bubble bath? Spray on some Paris Hilton Heiress, my friends. But honestly, Intimately Beckham perfume is really pretty, and subtle in a way that Ms. Beckham is not, with bergamot, rose petals, orange blossom, Casablanca lilies, sandalwood and musk. It's certainly not a Serge Lutens fragrance, whose stuff continually blows my mind and budget with well-crafted, beautifully unexpected scents. (I really go nuts over his Miel Du Bois, Ambre Sultan and Fleurs d'Oranger. Really, I do, to the point where I'll bid on Ebay for little vials of them because spending $100+ on a bottle is not really part of my plan right now.) But Intimately Beckham is nice for when you just want to smell feminine without being super-girly, and elegant without being overbearing; it's crowd-pleasing without being perky. It's also one of those things where both girls and guys seem to like it, which I find never happens. The scent itself stays pretty close to the skin and doesn't hit people like Naomi Campbell on an airplane, but it also lasts a nice long time, which is always my bugaboo when it comes to any scent. (It's my biggest gripe with Stella McCartney's perfumes -- they last, like, an hour on my skin! I'm sorry, but if I'm paying a nice penny for scented liquid, I really want it to last!) I had to get over the pinkness of the juice itself, but the bottle is really nice and elegant, and sometimes I like to pretend that it's a bottle of Gucci II. If you were really insane, you could peel off the Intimately Beckham sticker and put something else on, but you know what? Who cares! If anyone's gonna give you strife about wearing a perfume from a cheesy celeb or a store, for reals, they super need a life. (Kat)

Strawberries & Champagne by Victoria's Secret

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Doesn't "strawberries and champagne" make you think of Pretty Woman? Me too! And I don't think I've ever actually had the two together, but I fully trust Edward Lewis's assertion that the strawberries bring out the flavor of the champagne. Groovy.

Moving on: I don't know when I first found this scent, but I'm guessing it must've been on a big mall adventure sometime in college. I hardly wear it at all anymore, since I've got a mega thing for Pacifica's perfumes, especially the Malibu Lemon Blossom and Waikiki Pikake and French Lilac (all = HEAVEN). But every now and then, when I'm feeling ridiculously girly and in a pink kind of mood, I like a little splash of the Victoria's Secret poison. And I recently discovered it blends really nicely with TerraNova's Red Tea and Cocoa Blossom Perfume Essence, which is some seriously yummy stuff if you don't mind being vaguely chocolate-scented all night. (I don't.) Oh, and dudes always dig the Strawberries & Champagne, for some weird reason. Just so you know.

And in case you were wondering, the cheesy perfume I'd most like to see make a big huge comeback would definitely be Exclamation, because I'm really into making a statement without saying a word. Also: Electric Youth! And now I have the Debbie Gibson song in my head! (Liz)

Evian Mineral Water Spray

Evian-Mist-Spray-230.jpg

I have always been a very fragrance-oriented person, I really like the idea of having a "signature scent." That way, even blind people can collapse in excitement when your charming self walks into a room. I wore Lolita Lempicka all through high school, Stella McCartney for my first two years of college, and then finally found the scent of my dreams with Fresh's Tobacco Caramel, which I faithfully reeked of from junior year straight up until it was discontinued earlier this year. As heartbreaking as its disappearance was, it couldn't have hit at a better time- sometime over the course of 2008, I have developed a really extreme allergy to all perfumes, even the kind that aren't alcohol-based. Maybe my broken heart is as obstinate as my brain, deciding that if I can't smell like cigarettes and melted sugar anymore, I'm not allowed to smell like anything. So dramatic! Walking around with a terrible sinus headache is absolutely never worth it, so I have resigned myself to the fact that I will just have to make do with smelling like skin or soap for the rest of my life. At this point, the only thing I spray myself with is Evian Mineral Water Spray, which smells like nothing, because it is water. As far as I'm concerned, there is nothing chic-er than being the type of Catherine Deneuve-esque babe who always keeps a bottle of Evian spray in her purse. While it does come in handy on super-hot days, Evian spray is pretty much redundant; I mean, why not just splash tap water on your face? Well: because. Having Evian spray around is obviously nothing more than one hell of a frivolous luxury, and if there were no frivolous luxuries in this life, we'd all go nuts and kill ourselves from boredom. Evian spray is only ten bucks, which I've always thought was a really good deal until I just typed that sentence and realized that I'm the world's biggest sucker for spending any money at all on water in a spray bottle. (Laura)

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