Sunday , June 13, 2010
Laura Jane's Ultimate Fashion Challenge: Week Three
For those unfamiliar with the Ultimate Fashion Challenge: formal UFC rules, guidelines and regulations can be accessed HERE.
Day 15 (08.18.08): THIS OUTFIT HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY OLD NAVY: grey ribbed tank from Old Navy; "sexy nightgown" (from Old Navy) worn as dress; phoney-baloney Alexander McQueen skull scarf
Whatever Celestial Body is in charge of regulating/enforcing Murphy's Law has clearly gotten wind of Laura Jane's Ultimate Fashion Challenge. The rule goes: If Laura decides to wear a flouncy and/or girly and/or summery frock, IT WILL RAIN. I woke up to blistering sunlight: it was so damned hot you could fry a damned egg on the damned pavement; by midday, it was raining cats and dogs, literally! (oops! I meant figuratively) For some reason, whenever I wear this dress, I get heaps of gross and unwanted attention from barfo Normie dudes who would usually think I looked like a weird boy and take no interest in me. I guess now I know how it feels to be Jessica Alba.
Day 16 (08.19.08): Khaki semi-high-waisted (moderate-waisted?) shorts, on sale at Target; J.Crew dot-print cardi; cameo pin; opal ring; white cuff bracelet; Proenza Schouler dog bag
Today's "look" is my second-favorite outfit of the whole Ultimate Fashion Challenge so far (#1 goes to Day Two; that yellow sleeveless hoody is just too good to be true). I had a job interview today, so I tried to look "professional". Aren't I just the picture of professionalism? Doesn't my appearance just scream employable? My shit's so together, my bag even matches my outfit! Or is that a faux-pas at this point?
I guess it says a lot about me that my take on professionalism involves wearing a sweater with giant holes in the armpits, but whatevy- why look "classy" when you can look "classy-scrappy"? Side note: the weather today felt EXACTLY like how the weather felt in Williamsburg, Brooklyn in September of 2006 when I was walking to work at Flying Squirrel from the J Train, so that was a trip and a half.
Dude, I don't even know. Would you hire me?
Day 17 (08.20.08): ROMPER ROOM REDUX: Little girls' breakfast-print nightgown worn as dress; black-and-juicy-juice striped sweater
Well Hoppity Skipperloo! I just feel like the cutest little motherfucker in the world dolled up in this lil' number. My "dress" is covered in pictures of hardboiled eggs, toast, alarm clocks, and coffee cups- I'm like the personification of a babycake! I really went out of my way to counteract the eerie resemblance to an adult I had going on yesterday. FYI: This is the second time I've worn a reappropriated nightgown in three days.
PS: I kind of look like Heroin Death Spice in the above photographs, but I assure you it's an incorrect representation. I looked like a bubblegum sweetiepie babydoll smoochieface in real life!
PPS: Check out my "New York Dolls" brand champers! It was Dollsicious.
PPPS: Nice Photoshop job, Losebag.
Day 18 (08.21.08): Zippery jean shorts; "John and George are Dead (but Paul's not!)" t-shirt; lavender headscarf as headscarf
"Weird how the weather is beginning to feel autumnal, even though it's totally the middle of summer!" that idiot Laura Jane thought to herself. What the hell, Archie Bell and the Drell(ter-skelter)s!?!? Who, what, when, where, why and how the Helen of Troy is the summer almost over? Aging sucks. At age twenty-three, time goes by as fast Usain Bolt at Beijing 2008!
I have been so stupidly preoccupied with "saving" all my "good shorts" that I totally neglected to take the passage of time into account. Time is of the essence, Laura Jane Faulds! It's now or never. And by "never" I mean "having to lame up my good shorts in the future by wearing stockings underneath." That's sacrilege! WEAR YOUR SHORTS!
I love this t-shirt a lot for its poor taste and morbidity. It's totally the Kat Asharya of my t-shirt collecksh (for the dahhhhk-ness, not the bad taste!). I wish I could show it to John Lennon; he'd get a kick out of it, I'm sure. But I guess if I could show it to John Lennon, it wouldn't exist! Kablammo! What a total FASHION PARADOX!
Day 19 (08.22.08): yellow-striped boxer shorts from American Eagle Awesome; white wifebeater
Three wifebeaters down, three wifebeaters to go. There would be more wifebeaters, but I spilled food on them. The deal: in lieu of getting dressed this morning, I decided to NOT get dressed! It was an intelligent decision. Life is hard, you know? Why over-complicate it with "fashion" or "style" or "outfits". Don't stretch yourself too thin, Laura Jane Faulds!
What a chill person I am.
Day 20 (08.23.08): PANDA OLYMPICS CHIC: Uniqlo "Hibiko Special" t-shirt; yellow zebra print cardi from J.Crew; red and aqua running shorts from American Eagle Awesome
Laura giveth, and Laura taketh away. But today, Laura giveth. Hooray! Jo-Anne won our recent Flammable "think of an LJ fashion challenge!" necklace giveaway by coming up with the extremely weird suggestion of creating a look based on each of the Beijing Olympics Mascots. I'm way too lazy of a person to be bothered with coming up with five mascot-oriented looks, so I slacked off and settled on articulating something called "Panda Olympics Chic"- JingJing, athleticism, good e-freaking-nough.
I don't exactly know why this look is Panda Olympics Chic, I just know that it is. I spent a really long time taking this photograph; I wanted to nail the Usain Bolt double-point but totally couldn't get it right. Whatever, bro. I'm not a charming Jamaican sprinter, deal with it. Instead, I paid tribute to Tommie Smith and John Carlos, the most badass Olympic athletes of all time. I guess I mostly just interpreted Jo-Anne's challenge as "What I would wear if I were the Olympics mascot," which, you know, I really should be.
Day 21 (08.24.08): "THIS IS WHO I AM" CHIC: New York Mets t-shirt; khaki skull shorts; earth-toned headscarf; some bracelet with some print that I am too lazy to explain
This is who I am. If I could only wear one outfit for the rest of my life, every day, forever, it would be my khaki skull shorts and my Mets t-shirt. THIS IS WHO I AM. THIS IS WHO I AM. THIS IS WHO I AM. THIS IS WHO I AM. What more can I say? Week Three RULED.
Tags: American Eagle Awesome, Black Panther Party, fashion paradoxes, John Lennon, Kat Asharya, Laura Jane Faulds, Laura loves The Beatles, New York Mets, Olympics, tees please, THIS IS WHO I AM, Ultimate Fashion Challenge
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Wow! A few weeks ago I started incorporating the phrase "What the Helen of Troy" into my everyday vocabulary (as well as "What the Henry Clay Frick)! Great minds think alike, yo!
By Clara Louise on August 24, 2008 9:06 PM
awesome!!! Love the tribute pose! The necklace is sweet too. Thanks again!
By jo-Anne on August 25, 2008 12:18 AM
i am psyched to have been namechecked in this installment of LJ-UFC! i love that t-shirt for its slight resemblance to a Misfits t-shirt. Misfits = kinda like the Beatles of horror punk? okay, not really, but it was worth a try...!
xo k.
By Kat
on August 25, 2008 7:11 PM
Where do I get the beatles shirt with the skulls of john and george?!!!
By Nina DeNio on January 29, 2009 12:36 PM
I bought it at a little shop in Manhattan called Airmarket (on 3rd ave b/w 12th and 13th ), but that was quite a while ago. It is made by a brand called Agit Props; hope that helps!
By Laura
on January 29, 2009 1:32 PM