Friday , February 26, 2010
Congratulations from Laura Jane!- DJ AM, Clay Aiken & Jeremy Piven
Congratulations from Laura Jane! is a brand-new column I just invented wherein I congratulate people for doing things that I find worthy of congratulations. This may or may not be the only installment of Congratulations from Laura Jane! ever; we'll see!
1. CONGRATULATIONS TO DJ AM
Dear DJ AM,
Congratulations on not dying in a plane crash! I'm sure you put a LOT of effort into beating your crack addiction and losing 170 pounds a few years back; I'm glad that wasn't all for naught.
Don't relapse!
-Laura Jane
2. CONGRATULATIONS TO CLAY AIKEN
Dear Clay Aiken,
Congratulations on coming out of the closet and the arrival of your new baby boy, Parker Foster Aiken. It's obvious you've struggled immensely with coming to terms with your sexuality, and I'm incredibly proud that you finally took this step. You've always struck me as a really above-par human being, and I think you'll be an amazing dad. Actually, I wish you were my dad.
Keep it real,
Laura Jane
PS: No offense to my actual dad.
3. CONGRATULATIONS TO JEREMY PIVEN
Hey Piv!
Congratulations on winning your third consecutive Emmy for your ever-genius performance as Ari Gold. Oh, sweet Piv. You don't need my congratulations. I know you know how awesome you are, and that's awesome of you. You're awesome. You're the greatest actor of your generation, if not all-time. You are TOO DUDE FOR THIS WORLD, my brother.
If you ever feel like like eating vegan food and drinking sangria in Toronto- I'm your girl.
Pride is the greatest virtue,
Laura Jane
Tags: Ari Gold, Clay Aiken, Congratulations from Laura Jane, DJ AM, Jeremy Piven, plane crashes, TOO DUDE FOR YOU
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4 Comments!!
Say something so insightful and witty, it will blow us away. (No pressure.)
Got something to say? We'd love to hear it! Name, email and "type in the weirdo drunken text" thingie are all required to comment; don't worry, we won't email you or anything, we just want to make sure you're not an evil spambot. Keeping in mind the good-times mentality we like to keep going here, we've worked hard to keep NOGOODFORME.COM as fun as possible. We welcome all kinds of comments, but insults/abuse/general bitchery are not tolerated. In other words, we put the smackdown on evil troll posts. If you want to be a hater, please go elsewhere. Now, as Salt 'N Pepa say, "Only the sexy people..."
laura, are you not proud of travis barker for not dying in a plane crash? also, if you met travis barker, would you address him as 'barKER!'???
By Liz
on September 25, 2008 6:08 PM
you have no idea how much i'm giggling now.
By Kat
on September 25, 2008 6:10 PM
congratulations on this new and awesome column! two thumbs up!
By melanie on September 26, 2008 2:56 PM
Did you hear the latest news about Jeremy Piven? he was earning some serious extra cash acting on Broadway. Too bad he left the gig because of his high mercury count. I heard that the director for �Speed the Plow� thought the disease was bogus. Who knows? I guess he had been complaining of being tired for a while. He says his doctors ordered him to quit working immediately. I looked up what having a high mercury count means.
By Elisha X. on January 5, 2009 12:45 AM