Sunday , June 13, 2010
AN OPEN LETTER TO DEAD JOHN LENNON ON HIS 68th BIRTHDAY
Dear John Lennon,
You should not be dead. You should be alive, celebrating your 68th birthday with Yoko Ono, the love of your life. I wonder what you would be doing to celebrate your 68th birthday? Maybe you would take a stroll around Central Park. If you were alive, there would be no Strawberry Fields in Central Park. I think this is a fair trade-off. I would way rather have you be alive than have the Imagine mosaic. Truth be told, the Imagine mosaic is a bit corny- sorry, Yoko!
If you were alive, I wonder if you would be self-deprecating about your oldness. I wonder what you would look like. I think you would have aged in a really unbelievably well-suited-to-you "maniac wizard" kind of way. Your fabulous nose would have improved over time, like a fine wine. I wonder what you would wear (I could not even begin to imagine! "Imagine" pun not intended, btw) and what your relationship with Paul McCartney would be like. I wonder if "they" (by "they" I mean "England") would have knighted you. Probably not- seems like you kind of fucked your chances on that one when you gave back the ol' MBE.
If you were alive, you would be the coolest sixty-eight year old on the planet. I wish I could hear the songs you would be writing. I wish I could know who your guest collaborators would be. I wish I could be your intern. I wish I could have spent the four years I lived in New York desperately hoping to run into you. I wonder if you would still live at the Dakota, or if you would have relocated to Brooklyn Heights or a similarly subdued Brooklyn neighbourhood. I really have no idea.
John Lennon, John Lennon, John Lennon. JOHN LENNON!!
You are my hero, and you are the best hero a girl could ever ask for. You were the coolest person who ever lived. Actually, that's an understatement. What I mean to say is: you were the only cool person who ever lived. Every other person who ever lived has/had some sort of unforgivable flaw that I can't get past, but not you, John Lennon. You're perfect. Everything you did was just right. I wouldn't be half the man I am today if you'd never lived; your existence has dictated about 98% of my entire personality. I live by the lyrics of "Gimme Some Truth"; it's just the rightest right right right thing anybody ever said. I never lie. I say it all. I really love that about myself, and I got it from you. You You You! Yes Yes Yes! Happy Happy Happy Birthday!
You did such a good job at life, John Lennon. You changed the world a billionfold, and we love you for it. A lot of people love you a lot, I know this. But I really do think I may very well love you the most. Oh, whatever. You're John Lennon. You've heard it all before.
You're such a genius, you make Paul McCartney seem like not a genius at all.
Happy 68th, Gorgeous--
Laura Jane
Tags: birthdays, genius, John Lennon, Laura loves The Beatles, Paul McCartney
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