Monday , November 16, 2009
nogoodforme Superlatives: Dopest Shit We'll Wear This Winter
"MERMAID IN THE SNOW" IS THE NEW "COWGIRL IN THE SAND"
Ever since buying my new favorite scarf (that gigantic lovely thing to your above right), I've had ideas that winter 2008/09 would be the Season of Snow Queen Chic. I'd wear my gigantic lovely scarf all the time, which would somehow make me look exactly like the dame on the cover of Girlfriend by Matthew Sweet. Chris Martin would decide to re-shoot the "Violet Hill" video to include lots of footage of me and him dramatically traipsing across big snowy windswept mountains, but not until after going back in time and marrying me instead of Gwynnie. I'd write "FAIR TRADE" across the knuckles of my ridiculous new gloves, then most likely spill my Starbucks salty caramel hot chocolate all over them. Our kids would probably still have stupid names.
But then! On Saturday I got an early birthday gift: Converse's sequined low-tops, in royal blue. The nu shooz have already turned my world inside out, and now I'm pre-divorcing the Coldplay bloke and recasting this winter as the SEASON OF SNOW MERMAID CHIC. (A "snow mermaid," by the way, is like if the title character in Faerie Tale Theatre's adaptation of The Little Mermaid were crossed with the title character in Faerie Tale Theatre's adaptation of The Snow Queen and the resulting role were played by, I don't know, Kate Winslet circa Eternal Sunshine or something.) I'm wearing the sneakers with my new Velvet brocade coat, some little black knit hat I bought my first winter in L.A., my favorite blue jeans and sometimes also my Rolling Stones hoodie if it's chilly out (you know, like less than 63 degrees). The rosy cheeks are courtesy of Stript's mineral blush in Devine, with a little help from my Irish heritage. And the lips are frosted with Alba's Dawn TerraGloss - it makes my mouth both shimmery-snowy and slightly bluish like I've been swimming at the bottom of the sea too long.
Oh, and "Violet Hill" has been ousted as my winter theme song in favor of "Cowgirl in the Sand" by Neil Young and Crazy Horse. That's basically my theme song for every winter, but this year I'm pretending Neiler's singing "Hello, mermaid in the snow" instead. I'm pretty sure those were the original lyrics anyway. (Liz)
HAUTE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD STONER BOY
1. SPRITE-FLAVOURED GLASS CANDY TOQUE: A fourteen-year-old stoner boy without a toque is like a Siberian winter with no snow. This toque is stupidly huge and slouchy; I barely even like it. But fourteen-year-old stoner boys don't care if they like something or not, they just wear it because it's around. Plus, it keeps me warm. Plus, just because you don't like something doesn't mean it's not awesome. It is. This toque reminded me a piece of glass candy, then somebody told me it reminded her of Sprite. So now it is both.
2. CHAMPAGNE PUFFA JACKET: This is my winter coat. I found it at GapKids last year (it's a girls' XXL). By the way, this coat isn't gold. It's champagne.
3. TIE-DYED KILL CITY JEANS: These are what the fourteen-year-old stoner boy whose personal style I'm aping would wear to his junior prom, with Converse All-Stars and a tuxedo t-shirt. These jeans are one of the coolest items of clothing I've ever owned; on the wrong person, they might look kinda nu-goth, but at the same time, there's no such thing as nu-goth, so they wouldn't, I guess.
4. SAILOR HAT: I like my sailor hat because it looks like you just decided to throw it on as a joke to entertain people, because you're the class clown, the life of the party, the most lovable fourteen-year-old stoner boy this world ever knew.
5. "HIP HOP IS DEAD" T-SHIRT: Is hip hop really dead? Apparently I think it is- so adamantly, in fact, that I feel the need to wear a t-shirt proclaiming it to the world. This t-shirt is my roommate's and I've adopted it; it's the perfect amount of oversized on me, and rules because it can turn a nice pair of jeans and expensive sweater from chic to scrappy, sober to stoned, CLASS TO CRASS. Which is all I want. Actually, now that I think about it, all I really want is a Crass t-shirt.
6. SKINNY JEANS ARE LAURA JANE-ENDORSED ONCE AGAIN: For a while there, I was really into championing The Death Of Skinny Jeans, but I've since changed my mind. They're not going anywhere, and hey- if you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Skinny jeans are an integral part of HAUTE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD STONER BOY because they do a good job of showing off my...
7. GENTLE SOULS BOOTS: These boots put the HAUTE in HAUTE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD STONER BOY. My orthopedic stacked-heel ankle boots epitomize the notion of Wardrobe Staple; I have to force myself not to wear them, and when I'm not, I always wish I was. H14YOSB is the most brilliant fashion concept I've ever brainiacked up because, I don't know if you've noticed, but really it's just looking like shit, only with high heels. It takes me two minutes to get ready in the morning, just like if I were a real 14-year-old stoner boy! But I'm not- I'm an haute one. By the way, my best H14YOSB accessory is not pictured: it's my housekey strung on a shoelace and worn as a necklace. Also, I think I need to invest in a wallet chain. (LJ)
Kat is too busy yelling at people, noshing on craft services and dealing with stupid HD video cameras to do a proper Superlative, but says that her winter wardrobe concept is "dark but sweet" and involves the highest-heeled boots she can find, skinny jeans, oddly ladylike cropped jackets, and any accessory with studs and chains. Not so different from her fall concept, but with heavier fabrics. Most of her sartorial strategy lately is about finding awesome lingerie from The Lake and Stars. Oh, and she loves her new winter coat: a black wool trench with a huge funnel collar from Helmut Lang. HELMUT LANG ROCKS.
Tags: avant-wack, divorcing Chris Martin, Faerie Tale Theatre, getting to know us better, haute fourteen-year-old stoner boy, Is Hip Hop Dead?, makeup, mermaids, Neil Young, orthopedic shoes, potential wallet chains, snow mermaids, snow-queen chic, there is no nu-goth, winter
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3 Comments!!
Say something so insightful and witty, it will blow us away. (No pressure.)
Got something to say? We'd love to hear it! Name, email and "type in the weirdo drunken text" thingie are all required to comment; don't worry, we won't email you or anything, we just want to make sure you're not an evil spambot. Keeping in mind the good-times mentality we like to keep going here, we've worked hard to keep NOGOODFORME.COM as fun as possible. We welcome all kinds of comments, but insults/abuse/general bitchery are not tolerated. In other words, we put the smackdown on evil troll posts. If you want to be a hater, please go elsewhere. Now, as Salt 'N Pepa say, "Only the sexy people..."
Love this post - inspiring it is!
You guys are independently awesome.
And I wholeheartedly second the Lake and Stars-loving of Kat! (What an amazing line I've recently discovered). I know they sell at Azalea in the E Village... How incredibly hot can it get?! I'm hoping it's gonna be part of my gift this year...just one bra or underwear (Or the GARTER BELT!) AHH!
By katie rose on December 16, 2008 11:25 PM
Speaking of fair trade and fingerless gloves, I actually draw an equal sign on my left hand everyday. Last year, my step mom knit me green fingerless gloves with a white equal sign on the left one! Dude!
Btw, I know quite a few fourteen-year-old stoner boys ('cause duh! I'm fourteen!) and none of them are as stylish as you, LJ. Would you please visit my school and teach them how to dress?
By Clara the annoying fourteen-year-old on December 17, 2008 2:50 PM
Clara-
there is actually nothing in the world I'd rather do. I wish I could make a video of that!
By Laura on December 18, 2008 3:56 PM