Monday , November 16, 2009
nogoodforme Superlatives: All We Want For Christmas
A LEGENDARY NINE-DAY JAUNT TO THE CITY OF ANGELS
I have been obsessed with visiting Los Angeles this holiday season since I decided last holiday season that it was beyond imperative. There are really no words to explain how insanely stoked I am for the next week to pass. Come Tuesday the 30th, I will board a plane, probably have an annoying customs experience, get drunk on the plane, and then show up in The City of Eternal Summertime with a goofy grin and an ashen winter-y complexion just a-waitin' to get all tanned and stuff.
I've never been to Los Angeles before in my life, and it is so exciting to know that so soon, something completely different than anything I've ever experienced is going to be happening for me. I know I'm going to return from Shangri-L.A. a changed man, and that is way better than any weird bag or dumb t-shiirt or whatevs. Here are some things I hope to do once I arrive:
1. Shopping in LA: This is an open letter to myself saying, "BE FISCALLY RESPONSIBLE IN LOS ANGELES, LAURA JANE!"- I'm sure I'll do the exact opposite; I'm mostly stoked to check out Show Pony and the Laurel Canyon Country Store, hopefully with Barker in tow. It will be like an Imaginary Shopping Spree come true!
2. Beatles-ing Out in LA: There is no point in going anywhere the Beatles ever were without checking out the things the Beatles did there. The only ones I can think of are The REAL Blue Jay Way, and maybe I could find out the name of the bar where John Lennon got really wasted with Harry Nilsson and stuck a maxipad to his forehead.
3. Exploring Nature in LA: Laurel Canyon! Topanga Canyon! Venice Beach! The Ocean! Palm Trees! All of these options are highly preferable to Exploring Nature in Toronto, because, right now, all Toronto-centric nature is covered in approx. fifty trillion feet of snow.
4. Getting Drunked in LA:Hey Elizabeth Barker, let's wear pretty dresses, get stoned, and then go drink champagne at the Chateau Marmont bar.
5. Being an Idiot in LA: I cannot resist a good theme park, and Disneyland is quite obviously the Best of the Best. I can't wait to steal Emily and go ride rides, get sunburnt, and eat Mickey Mouse-shaped baked goods!
6. Eating in LA: Liz Barker likes Real Food Daily the best; Emily champions Green Leaves, but, based on five minutes of slack research, I vote for Native Foods. I want Chocolate Tofu Love Pie. I also want to eat Los Angeles Mexican food, and those infamous west coast avocados that people from the west coast always brag about.
ALSO, IF YOU, DEAR READERS, HAVE ANY MORE SUGGESTIONS FOR COOL THINGS I CAN DO IN LOS ANGELES, PLEASE LET ME KNOW! (Laura Jane)
CARS + COLOGNE: EMBRACING MY INNER DUDE
I'm at the stupid airport and I was just reading the new British Elle in which cover girl Courtney Love says: "Women don't buy records. They save up for a Louis Vuitton bag instead." UGGGHHHH, Courtney: Shut up! I can totally overlook your most recent assault charge, your unnervingly bananas Letterman appearance from a few years back, and even all the bad plastic surgery, but perpetuating the girls-don't-give-a-damn-about records myth is just UNFORGIVABLE. Shame on you.
So anyway: I'm a lady creature and I want everyone to know that I'm most definitely not saving up for a Louis Vuitton bag, or any kind of bag at all. I want for no bags. Instead I'm wishing upon the Christmas star for a 2009 Honda Civic Hybrid to replace the 1997 Honda Civic DX that some assholes stole from me last month - and maybe, because I've been so good this year, a bottle of Calvin Klein ck one cutely hidden in the glove box. I'd splash on some of the cologne, hop into my cute little Honda, turn up the Van Halen real loud on my stereo, and then go speeding up the PCH with windows down and the salty breeze whipping through my severely color-treated hair. It'd so fulfill my months-long dream of becoming the Bret Michaels of Echo Park.
I can't completely pinpoint when I started lusting after the ck one, by the way. But for the past few months I've been intermittently nostalgic for the bottle I had back in the day, for those high-school Friday nights when I'd dab some on my wrists and behind my ears and listen to the first Oasis record and do my eye makeup and get ready to go out with a boy who was just BAD NEWS but pretty damn exciting. And oh god, all this perfumey nostalgia is making me go all fluttery and dizzy now: I'M SUCH A GIRL. (Liz)
I'M SUCH A FUCKING BUDDHIST...WELL, ACTUALLY, I AM
Lately I have been very content with life, and honestly, the only things I want (besides a magic sleeping pill that makes my insomnia disappear) are the things I always want: a trip to Antarctica, a Rick Owens jacket, a magic eco-correct private jet that lets me see my friends in far-flung places more easily and for gorgeous angels to fund my thesis film, which I'm shooting next year in Bangkok. But otherwise, I'm all good: I have love, passion, health, great family and friends, music, fashion, adventure, yummy food, good opportunities to make the most of, New York City and Obama's our president. I'm pretty stoked about these things and more; the rest of this is all just icing on the cake. If none of this stuff showed up under the Christmas tree, I'd still be really cool. What can I say, man? I'm lucky and I'm blessed. In the middle of all the crazy holiday stress, it's truly nice to realize how much you have.
1. The Nina Simone box set, To Be Free: The Nina Simone Story. The woman sang everything from Kurt Weill to torch songs to blues to jazz to rock 'n roll. I think it can be so easy to overlook her genuine genius as an interpreter and a composer because she's so well-known and not obscure in any way. Anyway, in light of all the economic and social turmoil of recent years, it's interesting to revisit an artist who emerged during a similarly chaotic time.
2. A Blackberry Curve. I'm such a late-adopter when it comes to gadgets, and especially when it comes to cell phones -- I didn't even have a color screen on my cellie till two years after everyone else had them. I recently upgraded to a Motorola MotoQ, so now I can get all email-y on the go (which became kind of a necessity after realizing I get hundreds of non-spam emails a day), but it's got its issues and now I want a new phone. I know I should be all "iPhone! iPhone!" but I hate Apple with such an irrational passion that I can't even bear the idea of owning anything by them. Besides, I like pressing real buttons. At any rate -- everyone I know with a Blackberry Curve seems to like it for the ease of email usage, the long battery life and, hey, it actually makes and receives phone calls like it's supposed to! I think it's as cute as a phone can be, but I'll probably wait till next year to get it. In that case, I think I just want a Nintendo DS Lite for the holidays, just 'cause I miss playing Animal Crossing, my favorite video game of all time.
3. All the Jacques Tati films on DVD. Jacques Tati was a filmmaker of unparalleled, genuine wit and charm; his work has a lovely playfulness that nevertheless has an acerbic take on class, social ritual, modernity and consumerism of post-war France. There are more legendary bits, but this little clip from his masterpiece Playtime illustrates the charming, pointed simplicity of his brand of humor:
Anyway, these would all be lovely Kat gifties, just in case anyone's reading and really dying to get me something. But whatever, man -- I'll settle for oodles of cookies and a day without Internet. Happy Holidays! (Kat)
Tags: avocados, car thieves suck, Chateau Marmont, cologne, Courtney Love, Disneyland, fragrance nostalgia, Harry Nilsson, I hate Apple and think they are the epitome of consumerist evil, Laura loves The Beatles, LJ TAKES LA, Los Angeles, The Bret Michaels of Echo Park, Van Halen, vegan food, west coast
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6 Comments!!
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Laura Jane-- The infamous maxi-pad meltdown scene from the Lost Weekend took place at The Troubadour (Santa Monica Blvd. & Doheny). Mystery solved!
By Kimme on December 23, 2008 9:14 PM
You should also definitely check out the Museum of Jurassic Technology on Venice and the Watts towers (in Watts). They are the magical secret places in LA that tourists forget about.
Have an amazing holiday here, we're happy to have you.
By Garnet on December 24, 2008 12:37 PM
Louise Bourgeois retrospective at the MOCA in downtown L.A. Don't miss.
By Derek on December 24, 2008 2:41 PM
Second that Watts Towers. You will be amazed.
Go to Melrose, yes Venice, & may I suggest the Getty - it's an experience just getting up there.
Griffith park, great hiking in the city. LA is a different kind of a city. Other cities are all laid out & it's kinda obvious whats going on where... but in LA things are more hidden, you need someone who knows where to go. Anyway there's this huge park right next to Hollywood and it's a great place to look out over the city and go to the observatory.
Yes yes Laurel Canyon, find someone to drive you through in a Porsche. Malibu!
I was born there, live near Providence RI now (lovin it) I miss LA, but have had it with earthquakes. Have a great trip. Chloe C.
By Chloe C. on December 24, 2008 9:52 PM
I agree with Griffith Park.
Try not to spend a ton of money at Creatures of Comfort on Melrose or Amoeba off of Sunset and Vine.
By Linda on December 26, 2008 1:51 PM
i'm probably too late, but the apple pan on pico in west l.a. is, imo, the best place to eat in los angeles.
By editor on December 28, 2008 1:41 PM