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Tuesday , December 14, 2010
Congratulations from Laura Jane!- Barack Obama, LeBron James, Tom Colicchio
l to r: Barack Obama by Terry Richardson; LeBron James in APC jeans and a Rick Owens t-shirt; Tom Colicchio looking seriously badass
1. CONGRATULATIONS TO BARACK OBAMA
Dear Barack Obama,
On the morning of your inauguration, I was buying a can of Diet Coke at my local 24-hour convenience mart when I caught sight of you being inaugurated on the little TV that the shopkeeper watches. "Barack Obama must be so happy right now," I thought to myself. "This must be the best day of Barack Obama's life. I wish I was Barack Obama. If only I were Barack Obama, I would be so happy." Then I thought about it a little harder, and realized that if I were Barack Obama right now, happy would be the last thing I'd be! If I were Barack Obama, I'd be stressed out, anxious, nervous, confused, constantly freaking out internally, a bit suicidal, and would probably feel let down by how life is still just boring old life, even when you're the President of the United States of America.
So, Barack Obama, congratulations on helping a scrappy 23-year-old Canadian fashion blogger come to terms with herself (and on becoming President and everything).
Thx again!
Laura Jane
2. CONGRATULATIONS TO LEBRON JAMES
Dear LeBron James,
Before two days ago, I didn't know who you were. I was aware of the name LeBron James and that it belonged to a famous person who was probably an athlete, but that was the extent of my knowledge. Then, you charmed the hell out of me via your GQ cover (seriously! I was standing in line at the drugstore and that photo, like, chemically attracted me!), so much that I actually bothered to read the accompanying article. I learned that you are the Cleveland Cavaliers' power forward, and that you are 24 years old. Normally, when people around my age are more successful than me, I resent them and try to cut them down in my head. But with you, LeBron, I accept your early fame with open arms. Let's face it: I'm never going to be NBA material. And you're probably a way crappier writer than me! So, LeBron, let's call a spade a spade and continue on loving each other for the excellent people we both are.
Peace,
Laura Jane
3. CONGRATULATIONS TO TOM COLICCHIO
Dear Tom Colicchio,
I totally love you. I thought I couldn't love you anymore than I already did, but then I found out that you are a bear. I love you more now! That is SO HOT. Congratulations on being the world's hottest bear, Tom Colicchio. If I were into bears, I'd so be into you.
Love,
Laura Jane
Tags: Barack Obama, bears, Congratulations from Laura Jane, GQ, LeBron James, resentment, self-discovery, Tom Colicchio
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4 Comments!!
ready to fall more in love? T.C. saved someone's life this week.
http://www.slashfood.com/2009/01/19/tom-colicchio-uses-heimlich-manuver-to-save-cookbook-authors-li/
By k. on January 23, 2009 9:59 AM
Well OMFG to the nth degree! Tom Colicchio is one of those people who just HAS THEIR SHIT TOGETHER.
By Laura
on January 23, 2009 2:48 PM
dude! Lebron rules, basically.
a few years ago a little scrapper of a kitten hung out at my place long enough that my roommate and I adopted him. we named him Lebron.
By S on January 29, 2009 11:52 AM
At work the other day, Kevin was talking about how if he had to be a girl for a day, he'd be Karen O. I decided that if I had to be a dude for a day, I would most definitely be LeBron (second place: Q-Tip). Being LeBron must be so different from being Laura Jane! There should probably be a reality TV show where LeBron James and I have to switch lives for a week. It can be called "LJ vs. LJ".
By Laura
on January 29, 2009 1:35 PM