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Tuesday , December 14, 2010

Thrift Scores with Laura Jane: St. Clair Ave. Goodwill, 02.09.09

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1. PLAID WOOL BERET: This wee caperoo is my baby brother. I want to coo it some lullabies. It's so fab when you find a hat that looks better on you than your actual hairstyle. That way, you can put absolutely no effort into making your hair look good, and channel your displaced hair energy into bigger and better things, like doing crossword puzzles and thinking about dudes. Buying this hat conveniently intersected with a legendarily heinous Bad Hair Fortnight in my life, but nobody would ever have known if I hadn't just outed it right now, because they were too busy being cuted out by my so-cute hat!

2. FRILLY LASER-CUT COLLARED SHIRT: Last night, I drunked-ly wrote a note in my notebook reminding myself that it has been too long since I've used the expression "Shitters, Critters!" in a nogoodforme post. Well- Shitters, Critters!!! This blouse is my new BFF. It jibes really perfectly with my Top-Secret Spring Fashion Concept, and paired with the straight-legged jeans seen in the photo above, it rocks the girl/boy fashion-dichotomy I so enjoy rocking like no other. LJ + THIS SHIRT= BROS 4 LYFE.

3. GRANDMA'S MOCCASINS: I guess these moccasins are my new Grandmother? I really appreciate how functional these shoes are as a wintertime flat. I also appreciate that, since they are actually slippers and not shoes, they are as comfortable as slippers (this is something one can generally expect from slippers).

4. AQUA CROCHETED TANK: If I didn't have the fine motor skills of a toddler with poor fine motor skills, I would teach myself how to crochet, and I would crochet my entire life. I want everything in the world to be crocheted. I want crocheted shoesies and crocheted chapeaus and crocheted storage units and a crocheted digital camera and a crocheted iPhone and crocheted Beatles dolls and a life-sized crocheted replica of my physical self. However, it seems I will have to settle for this crazy-sweet lollipop-strawberry-kitten-baby-lovebug of a tank, which I suppose is good enough.

5. JOLIE-LAIDE FLOWERED BUTTON-UP: Sometimes I feel weird internal pressure to buy overly-wacky shit, just because I'm the kind of person who would and/or does, and I know nobody else will. My name is Laura Jane Faulds, and I rescue overly-wacky shit from tragic lives of closetless loneliness. True, this top errs quite a bit towards "Sunburnt Dad on vacation in Hawaii", but unbuttoned real low and thrown a bit off one shoulder, it's kind of sexy, in a goofball un-sexy Laura Jane way.

6. YELLOW-AND-WHITE STRIPED TUNIC TOP: In real life, I probably wouldn't wear this as a mini-mini-mini-dress (as shown in the photo above), since it's so short that it would give the world way too many unwanted peeks at the crotch of my stockings. I am presently unsure as to how this piece can be utilized to its Full Coolness Potential, though I know it'll do just fine paired with the tried, tested & true combo of skinny jeans and ballet flats come beautiful, beautiful springtime.

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