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Tuesday , December 14, 2010

The TOO DUDE FOR YOU Review: Electric Arguments by The Fireman

"The TOO DUDE FOR YOU Review" was initially conceptualized by Liz Barker and her ex-boyfriend Wapner as a forum for discussing contemporary cinema in a "Siskel & Ebert meets Will & Grace"-type fashion. This week, me and my ex-boyfriend Trevor are carrying on the tradition with our thoughts on Electric Arguments by The Fireman, who are Sir Paul McCartney and some dude named Youth, who was in Killing Joke. To add our own Trevor & Laura twist to TDFY, we decided to get really drunk and stoned before recording ourselves listening to Paul McCartney and talking about it. This is appropriate, since 90% of our entire relationship was spent doing exactly that, only we didn't record it. As follows is a transcription of the smartest/stupidest/funniest things we said.

1. "Nothing too Much Just Out of Sight"

Trevor: (five seconds in) This is great.
Trevor: (twenty seconds in) This is badass.
Laura Jane: It has a "Helter Skelter" feel.
T: (something about Acid Mother's Temple)
LJ: It sounds like a sixty-year-old wrote "Helter Skelter." And I'm just wondering if it occurred to Paul McCartney or not that this is a sixty-year-old's attempt at re- no, deconstructing "Helter Skelter."
T: But you know what Paul always has to do? Paul always has to put in a perfect bridge.
LJ: Do you think he's trying to prove something to himself?
T: The song was way better before the perfect bridge.
LJ: I just think a perfect Paul McCartney bridge can never hurt. (a moment passes) Is he saying "hombre"?!?!
(The remainder of the song is spent trading off on impersonations of Paul McCartney saying "'Ello there, Hombre!")

2. "Two Magpies"

LJ: This one is just so Paul McCartney, it has nothing to do with the whole concept of "Electric Arguments."
T: (forty-five seconds of Paul McCartney impersonations)
LJ: I just remembered that the whole concept of this album is that he wrote, like, thirteen songs in thirteen days or whatever. So I guess it relates to the concept. This song is bad.
T: I like it. I'm pro-"Magpies," since I have to take a stance. It's a cute little ditty.
LJ: Well then, I guess you just pigeonholed- magpieholed- me into being adamantly anti-"Magpies." So fine. There. I'm surprised this is the best Paul McCartney could do.
T: It's cute!
LJ: It sounds like trad jazz.
T: I have higher expectations of Paul than this.
LJ: I have higher expectations of myself, that I wouldn't be listening to trad jazz on a Saturday night.
T: I like it. It has a cool sound.
LJ: It's sad that Linda died.

3. "Sing the Changes"

T: This is the single, I think.
T & LJ (at the same time): It sounds like U2.
T & LJ (at the same time): WHOA!
T: It sounds so much like U2.
LJ: It sounds like U2! This is... a U2 song.
T: It's one of the best U2 songs.
LJ: It sounds like "Where The Streets Have No Name," only it's about thunder. This is stupid. It's just like, "Hey, what's up? I'm listening to U2."
T: I think Paul's fatal flaw is that he can do anything, so he feels the need to try everything.
LJ: Good point. This song is just U2. That's the only point to make about it. It's U2.
T: The ending was good.
LJ: I wasn't listening.

4. "Travelling Light"

LJ: It sounds like Cocktail, with Tom Cruise- like, the soundtrack to a dramatic scene in Cocktail.
T: This is exactly what I mean, about him trying everything. He has no fear of trying a weird genre, so, like, he does.
LJ: It's sort of like, maybe, he's like, Nick Cave, like...
T: He thinks he is?
LJ: He thinks this is, like, a Nick Cave-y song.
T: (impersonates Paul McCartney talking about how folk music is popular with the young kids these days)
LJ: Do you think Paul McCartney knows who Devendra Banhart is?
T: Yeah! I bet you he does. I bet you he's figured out, semi-recently. I think there's no way he hasn't.
LJ: Do you think that he thinks Devendra Banhart's like Donovan?
T: Yep.
LJ: Half the Beatles are dead.
T: This is a great cut.
LJ: No.
T: Sometimes The Fireman are really good! And you're like, "Wow! Paul still has, like, some real creativity that's relevant."
LJ: When has that happened for you? When?
T: The first song.
LJ: The "Helter Skelter" one?
T: Yes. The first song was very much, "Yes. Paul still could be relevant."
LJ: That's definitely the best one so far.
T: And the single. I could see how a lot of people would love that song. Like, a lot of people. Would, like, love
it.
LJ: Yeah- U2 fans.
T: No- I really feel like it could be a popular single, you know what I mean? And, like, go kinda high on the Billboard charts.
LJ: Because it's U2.
T: It sounds like Coldplay, too.
LJ: It sounds as much like Coldplay as U2 sound like Coldplay, because it sounds like U2.

5. "Highway"

T: Do you like this album better than Memory Almost Full?
LJ: No.
T: You know, I like this song.
LJ: It's like Tom Petty. Or John Mellencamp. It should be in a commercial for an SUV.
T: We should skip forward.
LJ: I'm over "Highway."

6. "Light From Your Lighthouse"

LJ: I love "Light From Your Lighthouse."
T: Yeah. Especially after "Highway."
LJ: It's refreshing. It wouldn't be out of place on RAM, like, without all the lame, like, 21st century production. This song's awesome. I would even put it on a nogoodforme Heavy Rotation. Maybe I will. Like, to tie everything together.
T: Yeah, it's good. There's some ukelele.
LJ:Yeah. He's like, constantly playing the uke on talk shows these days.
T: That's Paul. That's just who he is.
LJ: This is what Paul should be able to write in a day.
T: It makes you happy. It's like, let the shine on you, you know?
LJ: Yeah! Paul McCartney's gifted at, like, making people happy.
T: He really brings, like, real positivity. He's honest.
LJ: Yeah, but he does have, like, a better life than anybody else ever's lived, though, so... fuck that.

7. "Sun is Shining"

LJ: See, the thing about this is, like, I found out recently that "Sun is Shining" by Lizzy Mercier Descloux is, like, a cover of, like, a reggae song.
T: Ohhh. I kind of... figured.
LJ: I was kind of hoping that this would be a cover of that... reggae song. But it's not.
T: (gasps) Is that the song Finley Quaye covered?!?!
LJ: "Sun is Shining" is actually, like, kind of nice. It's like... U2, though.
T: Strong U2 influence!
LJ: It's like a combination of U2 and "Light From Your Lighthouse".
T: Can I tell you something? Paul gets U2. He's like, "They're the best band in the world right now, and I get what they're doing. And I understand it. And I kinda like it." He's like, "I like Bono. He's kind of like me." He's like, "I relate to this bloke. He's... perfect, like me."
T & LJ: (giggle hysterically for a minute or so)
T: (as Paul) "He's perfect! In the exact same way as I am!" Paul respects him.
LJ: This song sounds like it should be in an Olympics commercial. Oh shit! I was at the movies the other day and there was this commercial for, like, iCoke.ca, and like, you can just fill out this form and, like, carry the Olympic torch. Like, I think, maybe I should carry the Olympic torch!
T: You should do that. You should totally do that.
LJ: I'd blog about it!
T: This is bad.
LJ: It sounds like a U2 album cut. It's like, "Is this is The Lion King?"
T: Paul has, like, no quality control, I think.

8. "Dance 'til We're High"

LJ: It starts out on a real "fifties prom" tip. I haven't really thought about what Youth has contributed. Do you think he is making it worse?
T: No.
LJ: I do.
T: I think he's, like, pushing Paul out of his comfort zone.
LJ: But I think this is worse than Paul's comfort zone.
T: It's better than I expected. This album, by the Fireman, is better than I expected.
LJ: This sounds like a Christmas song. I would never listen to this. It sounds like U2 again. This is the third U2 song. This is, like, less avant-garde than Memory Almost Full.

9. "Lifelong Passion"

LJ: This song sounds like U2.
T: Yep. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
LJ: What the fuck? WHY?
T: Paul thinks he's being relevant.
LJ: Do you think that he realizes? What does You(th) think?
T: What does "you" think?
LJ: What does Youth think.
T: What does you think? What does Youth think?
LJ: What does you think? What does Youth think?
T & LJ: (laugh really hard for awhile)
T: He likes it! He loves it! He thinks this is (in English accent) "brilliant!" "Brilliant! Brilliant Brilliant!"
LJ: Does Youth think it sounds like U2?
T: He doesn't even know! He's inspired by U2! And Paul's just like, "U2 are the greatest band in the world! I can write any type of song whatsoever! I'm just gonna write U2-esque songs with Youth!" He can do anything, so he's just doing something because he thinks it's cool. U2 seems like the coolest band, to Paul.
LJ: But can't he do better?
T: Yes! But he's led astray by... himself. He's, like, you know, he's not perfect.
LJ: He's led astray by Youth?
T: By U2!
LJ: Doesn't Paul think it's beneath Paul to write U2 rip-off songs?
T: No. Paul doesn't think that. Paul loves Paul.
LJ: This is fucked up to me, Trevor!
T: Do you feel like you're listening to- what's the new U2 album called? Isn't it like, There Is No Straight Line?
LJ: I don't know! I don't listen to U2!
T: (sings the new U2 single)

10. "Is This Love?"

T: "Is This Love?" That sounds promising. It opens with this... ambient flute.
LJ: It sounds like I'm in, like, an... incense store. Like, it's like, you go the beach in Northern Ontario, like, Wasaga Beach and, like, you go into town and then there's, like, some lame hippie store that sells, like, homemade soap, and then they have one of those weird, like, machines that has, like, a bunch of different nature albums. Like, they'll have, like, "Sounds of the Rainforest" and then, like, "Orca Whales... Chanting." This song makes me smell those soaps.
T: Yeah, this is not cool.
LJ: I feel like this is all Youth right now.
T: I want to believe that.
LJ: Paul thinks Youth is cooler than he actually is, so he gives Youth more creative control than Youth deserves.
T: Paul's, like, having a good time. That's why I like this album. Because it's, like, a man just, like- he's having a good time. He's sixty, and he, like, he likes Youth. They're, like, buddies. And they just hang out and, like, make weird shit. I relate to that.
LJ: Should we turn it off? Let's just... we're gonna skip this one.
T: It sucks. Yeah. "Is This Love?" blows.

11. "Lovers in a Dream"

LJ: I really think, actually, that Youth is a bad influence for Paul McCartney. I think that Youth is a loser. Why did he have to name himself that? He's like The Edge from U2. He's just a weird U2 obsessive.
T: He's from Killing Joke. I don't think they sound like U2.
LJ: Do you honestly know what Killing Joke sound like?
T: Very vaguely. And I don't think it's U2-esque.
LJ: Yeah, well, maybe that's why he's not in Killing Joke anymore.
T: He got kicked out for liking U2 too much? So he started The Fireman to make more U2-sounding music?
LJ: That's probably the truth!
T: Well, I doubt that.
LJ: That's my opinion on Youth. That he dropped out of Killing Joke because they weren't open enough to making U2-inspired music. And then he scored into finding impressionable old Paul McCartney-
T: He's so gullible.
LJ: And, you know, this is what we have. Electric Arguments. Proof that my theory is correct.
T: Okay.

12. "Universal Here, Everlasting Now"

T: "Light From Your Lighthouse" was the best one so far. "Dance 'Til We're High" fucking sucked. "Lifelong Passion" sucked. "Is This Love?" sucked. "Lovers in a Dream" sucked. "Universal Here, Everlasting Now" is fucking this.
LJ: It's sucking so far!
T: There's birds chirping.
LJ: I'm back in the incense/candle shop! What? Should I buy some saltwater taffy while I'm here?!
T: Is this a drum machine? Sounds like it. Youth does that. Yeah, this sucks.
LJ: It's getting U2-y! Oh- it's U2. It just fully became U2.
T: I keep getting tempted to say (in Paul McCartney accent) "It's good! 'Ey! C'mon! This is...good!"
LJ: Why?
T: He's just having fun! Don't take his fun away from him!
LJ: I want to turn this off. I feel like I can't make it through one more song of this.
T: It's the last song! I bet you it'll be good, and we'll show you. Me and Paul, we'll show Laura fucking Faulds fucking Jane... Faulds... Jane... Laura Jane... Faulds and we'll show her that Paul McCartney is actually good. 'Cause you're a hater.

13. "Don't Stop Running"

LJ: Okay! Last song!
T: Ooooh! Nice opening. Very... John. Who's that guy? John Entwistle.
LJ: John Entwistle is the bassist of The Who.
T: Is it?
LJ: I want to commit suicide.
T: It's not that bad.
LJ: It reminds me of this 1994 movie called "Man of the House" starring Jonathan Taylor Thomas, for some reason.
T: Was it a drama or a comedy?
LJ: It was a... dramedy.
T: He thinks he's like Black Dice.
LJ: He doesn't know who Black Dice are.
T: Maybe Youth does.
LJ: Youth does not. Youth only knows one band.
T: Who?
LJ: U2. Obviously.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

LJ: What do you give it out of ten?
T: 6. But only because it's Paul. If it was anyone else, I wouldn't have lasted through, like, a minute of it. You know what I mean?
LJ: Yeah, but I feel like I should punish him because he's Paul. I give the first track a 5, and the rest of it a 1.8
T: I give the first track a 6, and the rest of it, like, not that high. Like, a 3. But then it magically balances out to 6, because I like Paul.
LJ: And I give it a 1.8. So, it balances out to, like 3.
T: 5.5
LJ: 4. Can we compro on 4?
T: What do you want it to be?
LJ: 1.8!
T: And I want it to be a... 5.5
LJ: So, like, 3.65. 3.75.
T: 3.75. I agree.
LJ: 3.75!
T: I'll go for that. Compro.
LJ: Compro. Okay! 3.75 FOR ELECTRIC ARGUMENTS!!!!!!

Tags: alcohol, dudes, Electric Arguments, ex-boyfriends, getting high, getting to know us better, Laura Jane Faulds, Paul McCartney, Sir Paul McCartney, The Fireman, Trevor, U2, weed, Youth

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