Monday , March 8, 2010

TOO DRUNKED FOR YOU: The nogoodforme.com Drinking Game!

Happy St. Paddy's Day, readers of nogoodforme.com! Are y'all gonna get DRUNKED tonight?!? We sure are! In honor of today being the only day of the year when it is socially acceptable to slam beers before noon, it is officially DRUNK WEEK on nogoodforme.com. Welcome! Let's all celebrate and get TRASHED tonight, Babies!

However, there is a dark cloud to every silver lining, and in this case, there are two:

1) As awesome as it obviously is that today happens to be the drunkedest day of the year, it makes us (Kat Asharya, Elizabeth Barker and Laura Jane Faulds) very sad that we are a troika of the tri-coastal variety, and can't get drunked togeths tonight (at least there is such a thing as drunk dialing!)

2) As awesome as it is obviously is that today happens to be the drunkedest day of the year, it makes us (Kat Asharya, Elizabeth Barker and Laura Jane Faulds) very sad that we can't throw a massive Drunk Week/St. Pat's bash at the fictional nogoodforme HQ and invite all of y'all! Rest assured, we are some of the greatest drunk people you will ever meet, and it breaks our hearts that you just have to take our word for it on this one (unless you attended Spirit Animal House, and witnessed LJ's drunk raffle emcee performance, which pretty much says it all).

Luckily, we are three highly resourceful lassies, and, as such, have engineered TOO DRUNKED FOR YOU: The nogoodforme.com Drinking Game! Alls you have to do is open up nogoodforme.com, scroll downwards, and let the games begin. It may not be downing shots of tequila with Liz Barker on an inflatable plastic couch at 4 AM, but it's better than nothing. HAVE FUN! And always remember to drink responsibly, like we do.

toodrunkedforyou.jpg

+ Take a dainty sip of white wine (preferably one with a low alcohol percentage) any time Laura Jane a) talks about the Beatles, b) brings up Matthew Friedberger for seemingly no reason or c) posts a gratuitous digicam self-portrait of herself. If you don't pace yourself on this one, you'll be puking and asking your buds if they're mad at you within ten minutes.

+ Pound a tallboy of King Cobra whenever you see a picture or video of a baby animal.

+ Random Picture Entry? Random shot of SoCo!

+ Superlative? Super-big gulp of Malibu!

+ Is nogoodforme.com taking forever to load because it is so chock-a-block with awesome content? No worries! Kill time by running over to your local T.G.I Friday's/Applebee's/Red Lobster/Nastiness Whatevs Joint, and drinking a mango choco-passionberry margarita slushy the size of your head.

+ Keep it local: whenever Liz gets weirdly/randomly defensive against people who hate on L.A, sip on a Silverlake Slip. When Kat mentions New York City, drink a Manhattan! And when LJ brings up Toronto, bust out some nasty-ass Molson Canadian in honor of the Great White North.

+ Kat Asharya's kinda Goth-y. Pay homage to her dahhhhk-er moments by sippin' on some absinthe (or possibly Shlivovitz, which is pretty Transylvanian in nature)

+ Liz Barker is nogoodforme.com's resident sweetheart. Have a peach-flavoured wine cooler anytime you're totally cuted out by her maximum adorability.

+ If Laura Jane's being scrappy, it is definitely time to get to work on a 40 oz. bottle of Olde English.

+ Lolly, lolly, lolly, get your adverbs here: Every time you spot the words "totally," "hugely," "beautifully," "cutely," "gorgeously," and/or "awesomely," knock back an Absolutly Mistafying.

+ Whenever Kat or Liz indulges in early '90s nostalgia, down an Angry Helen, which would've been a really stupid name for an all-girl grunge band.

+ Dudes, if any of us addresses the nogoodforme.com reader as "dude," drink a Whatever Dude or a Dude, I Need Money.

+ Anytime Liz or Laura Jane claims to be addicted to Diet Coke, drink a Diet Coke. With whiskey in it.

HAVE FUN!! (and don't be afraid to leave us some drunk comments if you feel so inclined)

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4 Comments!!

dudes, we forgot to tell our dear readers to drink a Too Good For You! i'm going to drink one right now, to make up for that.

p.s. i'd like to point out that, although i may look like i'm crying in that photo, i'm NOT one of those weepy-drunk types. i'm more like one of those tripping-over-my-own-shoes-and-then-laughing-too-much drunk types. just an FYI.

You guysh...you guysh are sho, sho...(hang on)...sho fuckin' beautiful, man. Aaaand I fuckin' love you..(thunk)

That drunk-pic of myself is an EXACT representation of who I become when I drink.

when i get drunk, i just dance a lot. or stare at pretty lights. i think i'm doing a combination of both in that pic, but i don't remember! xo k.

Say something so insightful and witty, it will blow us away. (No pressure.)

Got something to say? We'd love to hear it! Name, email and "type in the weirdo drunken text" thingie are all required to comment; don't worry, we won't email you or anything, we just want to make sure you're not an evil spambot. Keeping in mind the good-times mentality we like to keep going here, we've worked hard to keep NOGOODFORME.COM as fun as possible. We welcome all kinds of comments, but insults/abuse/general bitchery are not tolerated. In other words, we put the smackdown on evil troll posts. If you want to be a hater, please go elsewhere. Now, as Salt 'N Pepa say, "Only the sexy people..."


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