Monday , November 16, 2009
nogoodforme ix: Our Cocktails & Libations of Choice
THE "TOO GOOD FOR YOU"
Something lame (but probably awesome, considering my life-wide tendency to always overdo it) about being Laura Jane is that I am hella allergic to hard alcohol. I couldn't take a vodka shot if I tried; my body literally rejects it, and I gag immediately. Howevski, my body has decided that there are some exceptions to this rule- I can handle liquor if a) I'm already really drunked or b) it tastes delicious. The Too Good For You is the official drink of nogoodforme.com; it is a white wine spritzer hyped up with a shot of amaretto. Totally yummers, and knocking one back always reminds you of how rocking and rollicking nogoodforme.com is, which is great, because there is nothing more fun to drunkedly do than explain nogoodforme.com to strangers at bars. (LJ)
40s OF O.E/40s OF BOONE'S FARM
My name is Laura Jane, and I am not very classy. I am scrappy, always out of money, and greatly prefer drinking in parks to drinking in bars. These three variables make me an ideal candidate for loving Olde English, and its chick-drink equivalent, Boone's Farm ("The Greatest Chick Drink Of All Time", according to this Boone's Farm fansite). In these trying economic times, is there any better bang for one's buck than 40 ounces of malt liquor? When you're a girl on the go, you can't go wrong with a 40 of anything, though Strawberry Hill and Fuzzy Navel Boone's definitely rock it the hardest. Also, I would never drink Colt 45. I have mad brand loyalty to O.E, cuz Colt 45's just gross. FORTY OUNCES TO FREEDOM, BITCHES! (LJ)
BLOODY MARIAS
Vodka is my villain; every time I've gotten wicked sick off booze, it's been all vodka's fault. Sometimes I'm a whiskey girl, but mostly my love is for tequila, as you can tell by that yesterday-posted photo of yours truly all sozzledly wearing a t-shirt that says "TEQUILA" across the front. So yeah, a Bloody Maria is a Bloody Mary with tequila instead of vodka, and the best I've ever had was either at Zeitgeist in San Francisco or my mom's house in Massachusetts. The weird thing is Bloody Marias/Marys are a really antagonistic kind of drink; the spices are way too aggressive and who the hell likes tomato juice anyway? My love is totally indefensible. It's pretty much exactly the same way I feel about Vincent Gallo, now that I think about it. (Liz)
FLAMING MARGARITAS AT EL COMPADRE
First off, Angelenos: El Compadre is a really primo date spot - I've tried it out a few times, and even the super-lousy relationship-ending dinner I had there one stupid night last autumn was kind of awesome in its suckiness. I always get the flaming peach margarita, 'cause it's fun when drinks feel kinda like a dare, and - as Tracy Jordan would ask - "Why would I be afraid of fire near my mouth?" Truly though, any kind of margarita is peachy by me; last week my buddy told me about a wedding reception with a margarita machine and I was like, "WHAT BETTER WAY TO HONOR YOUR LOVE?" For realz. (Liz)
THE GREYHOUND AT PASSERBY
Passerby, now closed to apparently make room for luxury condos for douchebags, was a bar in NYC's Chelsea that I loved for its collision of art-damaged crowd and lit-up checkerboard floor. It was the place you ended up at in the latest part of night; it attracted the deliberately eccentric, and sometimes it felt like it was doing your hallucinating for you. If I were to compile an "iconic moments in Kat's life" video reel, I would have to include a few nights I spent there being up to no good, including one spent harangue-flirting with a DJ who first played me Suicide way back in the day. They made a wicked Greyhound at Passerby, which is really just vodka and grapefruit juice, but somehow it was transformed into an elixir of youth, vitality and effervescent good spirits by the magic of deep, rich night. (Kat)
JACK AND GINGERS
Ah, Jack and Ginger: my two most favorite people to meet in a bar. If I were to anthropomorphize Jack Daniels, he would be sort of a cool, charming dude with a laconic, deep voice, a rare but mischievous smile and a very Neil Youngian fashion sense. Ginger would be clever, talkative, and smart, with a penchant for retro dresses and cool glasses. Together they are classic and iconic and their presence at any show or bar on the Lower East Side instantly confers a genuine, traditional aura of awesome upon any outing. (Kat)
KIR ROYALE
Well, my name is Kat, and I looooovvvvvveeeeeee champagne. It really is the most beautiful alcoholic beverage. I love it straight-up, but I am also quite fond of when it is combined with a splash of creme de cassis. The Kir Royale is also the color of my ideal lipcolor, so if anyone reading this is a cosmetics mogul and wants to make a lipgloss in this color and send it to me, I will love you forever. (Kat)
MAI TAIS
Every year on my birthday me and my loved ones go out for lunch at this really boss Chinese restaurant in my hometown, and I always order a mai tai, and I always need a nap by the time the food comes. Rum = sleepytime, but it's real sweet sugary syrupy sleepytime, with a cherry and a pineapple spear and a little paper umbrella too! What more could a birthday girl ask for? (Liz)
SAZERACS
My whole "Sazerac life-concept" (in shorthand: putting more effort into doing things than most people do in 2009) originated on Day 45 of the Ultimate Fashion Challenge, when I wore The Sazerac of Outfits. Since Day 45 of the UFC, I have: lived the Sazerac of Tuesdays, searched and longed for The Sazerac of Dudes, had the Sazerac of Trips to Los Angeles, decided that George Gershwin is the Sazerac of 20th Century composers, and done a lot of other Sazeriacal things that I can't really remember. One thing I've never done, however, is actually drank a Sazerac, because I can't drink hard liquor and it sounds nasty regardless (Cognac, bitters, lemon, sugar, yuck). But whatever: the Sazerac Life-concept is the Sazerac of Life-concepts, and maybe I wouldn't want to drink a real Sazerac, but the Sazerac of Dudes would, and so, in conclusion: the Sazerac is the Sazerac of Sazeracs? Yeah. That must be it. (LJ)
Tags: alcohol, alcoholism, allergies, birthdays, Bloody Marias are the Vincent Gallo of cocktails, Boone's Farm, drunkedly explaining nogoodforme.com to strangers, Forty Ounces to Freedom, Fuzzy Navel Boone's Farm, nogoodforme.com, Olde English, Sazeracs, Strawberry Hill Boone's Farm, tequila, TOO GOOD FOR YOU, white wine
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2 Comments!!
Say something so insightful and witty, it will blow us away. (No pressure.)
Got something to say? We'd love to hear it! Name, email and "type in the weirdo drunken text" thingie are all required to comment; don't worry, we won't email you or anything, we just want to make sure you're not an evil spambot. Keeping in mind the good-times mentality we like to keep going here, we've worked hard to keep NOGOODFORME.COM as fun as possible. We welcome all kinds of comments, but insults/abuse/general bitchery are not tolerated. In other words, we put the smackdown on evil troll posts. If you want to be a hater, please go elsewhere. Now, as Salt 'N Pepa say, "Only the sexy people..."
I just wanna say its great to hear of someone else that prefers to drinking in parks than in bars. I adore having a fewski at a waterfront, under a tree in front of a duck pond, etc, so much more memorable and personal than going into a bar to socialize.
My drinks of choice tend to be Mojo's or Rev, nice and portable for outdoor excursions plus they pack a nice jolt of a punch. I'll have to see if we have Olde English here in the east coast. I like to have shots of jagermeister late in the evening....hoooo boy, that stuff is nutty.
By Kathleen on March 18, 2009 2:52 PM
You guys are my heroes. My favorites are Cabernet, gin and tonic, and Guinness. I'm definitely making a Too Good for You this weekend, though!
Is there going to be a weed week too?
By Kristen on March 19, 2009 1:01 AM