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Tuesday , December 14, 2010

nogoodforme ix: Cutest & Cuddliest Cinematic Critters

BABE THE PIG, DUH

Babe the Pig is the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band of cinematic animals, or, to use a term I brilliantly just coined, cinemanimals. When Babe first came out, I loved the little piglet so direly and truly that it inspired me to become the world's slackest eleven-year-old vegetarian; while noshing on a ham sandwich at lunchtime, one of my classmates yelled, "Laura, you're eating Babe!" and I COULD NOT DEAL. Speaking of fucked up things that happened to me in elementary school, there was a brief period of time in 1997 when my "nickname" was "Lorena Bobbitt," and all the dudes in my class would grab their crotches and run away from me at recess. Life was rough, but at least I had this shit to help get me through it- (LJ)

BELKA AND STRELKA IN BELKA AND STRELKA: STAR DOGS

I'm really inspired by Belka and Strelka right now. By the way, if you Google "belka strelka star dogs," my Belka and Strelka nogoodforme post is the fifth link that comes up! I've finally made it! You can check out the Star Dogs trailer here. I just spent the past five hours trying to embed it into this entry, but it's on RuTube (the Youtube of Russia!) and, like, I don't speak Russian. Sorry about that. The trailer is SO worth watching, though; listening to the little CGI pupniks talk in baby Russkie is the cutest thing I've ever heard! (LJ)

animals2.jpg

FANG FROM THE HARRY POTTER MOVIES

I actually have zero to say about Fang except "OMG, he's so GD cute" and "It must be nice to hang out with Hagrid all the time, although maybe it's kinda stressful." While looking for Fang photos I landed at The Happy Doggie Blog's Top 10 Strangest-Looking Dogs post and then fell head-over-paws for the Komondor, that Hungarian canine breed shown at Fang's right. Dogs with dreadlocks? Yes, please! (Liz)

fang.jpg Komondor.jpg

MR. JINX FROM MEET THE PARENTS

If I were way less afraid of people thinking I'm bonkers, the fictional character I'd most behave like would maybe be Robert Deniro in Meet the Parents. I'd be 87 times more aggressive about insisting that everyone adore my cat; I'd begin most conversations by asking, "Have you seen Pillz's newest trick yet?" and then we'd all have to watch Pillz perform said trick, and if you weren't sufficiently awed I'd psychologically torture you forever. It would be awesome! Sadly there are very few photos of Jinx/Mr. Jinx/Jinxy Cat available for easy stealing on the Internet, so instead I give you this breathtaking collage featuring a couple other kitties that belong to Jinx's breed. They're called "Himalayans" and they come from outer space. (Liz)

himalayancats.jpg


OLIVER FROM OLIVER & COMPANY, OR MAYBE DODGER

When I was four years old, Oliver & Company changed my life. This is because, at four, I was in a huge Charles Dickens phase, and was highly intrigued to see how Oliver Twist, Dickens' classic tale of hardship, strife and triumph over adversity, would fare once transposed onto the silver screen. Just lying! It changed my life because Oliver is the cutest little kitty-cat EVS, and Billy Joel as the mutt rendition of the Artful Dodger was my first crush kind of- one of those Disney movie cartoon animals that you can't help but think is sorta hot. I hope that happens to other people. A losery thing about being me is that I always start singing "Why Should I Worry" when I am on St. Mark's Place, because it mentions St. Mark's Place, and it was my earliest St. Mark's association. God, I'm lame. (LJ)

Consider this a lesson in street savoir-faire from New York's coolest quadraped. Check ya later!-


SANDRA BULLOCK'S CAT IN WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING

I derive a tremendous amount of personal strength from doing things that nobody's ever done before (sort of like Natalie Portman's annoying character in Garden State, only completely un-annoying, and nothing like that), and this is obviously one of those times. It is safe to assume that this is the first-ever Internet tribute to Lucy Eleanor Moderatz's cat. Go me! I like Lucy Eleanor Moderatz's cat because it is one of those bitchy, fat, fluffballs that generally suck, but suck so hard that they do a complete one-eighty and end up lovable, entertaining pets just begging to be anthropomorphized. Another reason I like Lucy Eleanor Moderatz's cat is because I have a distinct memory of watching While You Were Sleeping as a child and intuiting that, like Lucy Eleanor Moderatz, I would one day be single and alone, with nothing to do but feed my mean cat who barely even likes me. Hey- where's Blake the Cat at? I bet he's hungry. (LJ)

animal1.jpg

PS: I really love While You Were Sleeping, and so should you. It's so great how Sandra Bullock ends up with Bill Pullman (SPOILER!!!) I love Bill Pullman. He's sort of like Jeff Daniels, only rangier, and snarky.

THE FOIE GRAS-EATING CAT IN 2 DAYS IN PARIS

Actually, Pillz is totally inept and can't do any tricks at all, unless you count "Sitting On Your Book While You're Trying To Read" and "Hiding Under The Covers When The UPS Man Comes To The Door." Mostly she just sleeps, and then eats. She's a big fattie and probably much more like Julie Delpy's cat in 2 Days in Paris than that impeccably groomed fancy-pants Mr. Jinx, but that's just dandy by me. And at the part in 2 Days in Paris when Julie Delpy's mom confesses she's been feeding the cat foie gras, that kittie-in-headlights expression on the cat's face is so damn fantastic I can't even deal. I luff that movie. (Liz)

2daysinpariscat.jpg

THE KOMODO DRAGON IN THE FRESHMAN

One of the most beautifully delivered lines in all of cinematic history is the moment in The Freshman when Frank Whaley quietly deadpans "I'm gonna puke my guts out" upon meeting a komodo dragon for the first time. If I ever met a komodo dragon, I'm pretty sure I'd puke my guts out too. I kind of want to puke my guts out just from looking at this photo, even though I find the komodo dragon from The Freshman just delightful. Also delightful is the part at the end of the movie when the dude who used to host the Miss America pageant sings a lounge version of "Maggie's Farm." It's just a delightful movie all around, really. Netflix! (Liz)

komododragon.jpg

THE SKATEBOARDING DOG IN LORDS OF DOGTOWN

Apparently our pal Cathy once met Tyson the Skateboarding Bulldog, which I'm really jealous about. The vid below isn't from his bit in Lords of Dogtown (a movie I love so much, so much); it's just a super-mellow Tyson skating around the Venice boardwalk way more skillfully than I'll ever skate in my life. What a champ! I hope I get to meet him someday too. (Liz)

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'Oliver and Company' is cinematic genius- I was beginning to worry that nobody else knew the words to 'Why Should I Worry'. And 'Lords of Dogtown' iniated by desire to get a bulldog- if it can skate, all the better.



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