Saturday , February 13, 2010
Style Icons: Peggy Oki/Jeff Spicoli/Eva
PART ONE: TAKE MY WORD FOR IT- YOU (AND I) WILL NEVER BE AS COOL AS PEGGY OKI, AND THIS CHICK I MET AT THE EGLINTON SUBWAY STATION YESTERDAY
My name is Laura Jane Faulds, and I BELIEVE IN COOL.
Why is it so uncool to think that being cool is cool? Personally (personally, as in, AS A PERSON), I resent the implication that cool is only cool (for real?) if it's an accident. I think saying that is just a coping mechanism for losers. Does anybody ackshully expect me to believe that James Dean was "cool" by "accident"? What a crock. Not that I even think James Dean is cool, but if I did, I would think he was cool because he meant to, and PERSONALLY, I think it's cool to think it's cool to be cool. PERSONALLY, I think "cool" is a legitimate aesthetic concept, just like "rococo" (especially if you roll the R). Looking, being, acting and/or feeling cool is something totally worth striving for.
Before yesterday, the only human being I'd ever come across who was cool by accident was Peggy Oki, a girl skateboard from the late '70s who is in the movie Dogtown and Z-Boys for a total of maybe ten seconds. And then I went to therapy.
Awesome as my therapist may be, and is, this all has nothing to do with my therapist, and everything to do with Eva. The only reason I brought up therapy is because, after therapy, I was at the Eglinton subway station, and then I saw Eva. I flipped my lid, took her photograph, and then felt really stoked about my life because the Universe had just auto-given me a really kickass "slant" on my Peggy Oki/Jeff Spicoli Style Icons article.
I barely have to explain anything at all, because you've already looked at the image at the top of this post, and therefore you've already seen Eva, and therefore you've already digested how violently cool she is, and so nothing I say really matters, because the only thing that matters is Eva's coolness. We're all on the same page here, except Eva. She's on a cooler page than all of us.
PERSONALLY, I've already accepted that I'll never be as cool as Eva, and/or Peggy Oki. I have come to terms with it. Eva, I just hope you're reading this. If you are, please get in touch with me. Let's be friends. I'm cool with not being the cool one.
PART TWO: HOW TO BE COOL LIKE JEFF SPICOLI AND LAURA JANE FAULDS
If you are not one of the two people in the world who are effortlessly cool, don't freak out. It's actually really, really cool to be intentionally cool, like Arthur "The Fonz" Fonzarelli and Jeff Spicoli of Fast Times at Ridgemont High. When I just typed out the words Fast Times at Ridgemont High, I realized I'd completely forgot that Jeff Spicoli is a "character" in a "movie" played by an "actor" named "Sean Penn" for the entire time I've been working on this article. That's how cool Jeff Spicoli is- cool enough to eclipse the fact that he doesn't exist. Here's how he did it, how I do it, and how you can do it too:
1. Smoke out of a bong and take a picture of it. (If you don't smoke weed, a Big Gulp or a can of Lowenbrau work fine too. You could even try all three at once, and then be the coolest person in the world!)
PROOF THAT PEOPLE LOOK COOLER DRINKING BIG GULPS:
2. Never underestimate the power of a killer t-shirt.
3. A sick pair of Vans goes a long way.
4. Everybody looks better with a tan, and the coolest way to get one is to surf, just like noted cool person Elizabeth Barker of nogoodforme.com.
5. Think up some hilarious catchphrases, and say them constantly: (PERSONALLY, mine are "What the Helen Keller," "Go to Hell, Archie Bell and the Drells," "Who gives a wishbone?" and saying "I'm gonna jet" or "I'm gonna book it" or "I'm peacing out" in lieu of saying "Goodbye." Also, I really wish "American Idiot" wasn't playing this video)
ALOHA, MR. HAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
PS: I'm sorry I didn't talk about Peggy Oki more in this article. I was planning on it, but then I met Eva, who backs up my whole "Peggy Oki is Cool" point about 495782304803x more effectively than actual Peggy Oki.
Tags: Archie Bell and the Drells, coolness, Dogtown and Z-Boys, drugz, Elizabeth Barker, Eva, James Dean: Not Very Cool, Jeff Spicoli, my therapist rules, Peggy Oki, PERSONALLY, rococo, skaters, skaters are hot, smoke, surfers are hot, surfing, The Fonz, therapy, Vans
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2 Comments!!
Say something so insightful and witty, it will blow us away. (No pressure.)
Got something to say? We'd love to hear it! Name, email and "type in the weirdo drunken text" thingie are all required to comment; don't worry, we won't email you or anything, we just want to make sure you're not an evil spambot. Keeping in mind the good-times mentality we like to keep going here, we've worked hard to keep NOGOODFORME.COM as fun as possible. We welcome all kinds of comments, but insults/abuse/general bitchery are not tolerated. In other words, we put the smackdown on evil troll posts. If you want to be a hater, please go elsewhere. Now, as Salt 'N Pepa say, "Only the sexy people..."
yayyyyyyyyy!!!!! can you tell us more about eva's shoes, btw?
also, Elizabeth Barker of nogoodforme.com would like to point out that she's staunchly anti-tan and always wears 75 SPF sunblock when surfing. maintaining your ghosty-as-denny-wilson's-ghost pallor can be cool, too.
By Liz
on May 21, 2009 12:18 PM
I really wish I could tell you more about Eva's shoes, but I was too busy being captivated by Eva's insanely cool essence to take note of the little things. Also, she is a really nice person, and has a perfect deep-ish surfer girl voice, like the character named "Laura" on the episode of "The Simpsons" when "Laura" moves next door to the Simpsons, and she's really cool and dates Jimbo Jones. I just found out that "Laura" was voiced by Sara Gilbert, so I guess what I'm trying to say is that Eva's voice sounds like Sara Gilbert's voice.
By Laura
on May 21, 2009 1:01 PM