Monday , November 16, 2009
Heavy Rotation: Best Party Jams, i.e. Throwin' Down In Yo Face, GOOP
Man, Gwyneth, we are trying hard to be on your side, but now that you're all GOOP and stuff, you make it really hard for us sometimes! While we appreciate her good intentions and spirit of largesse, sometimes we are collectively undone by a sometimes lethal combination of cluelessness and preening ego that pops up in GOOP on a semi-regular basis. Not that we don't have our moments of cluelessness and massive ego, of course, but we knew once we saw her Party Jams newsletter that we could do better, because one thing we do know collectively is music. Not that hers is a bad list -- it's just super-predictable and no different from what you'd hear from generic lounge in any major North American city. Instead, just in time for summer, we are kicking it with our idiosyncratic take on party jams and dance floor anthems.
DJ Godfather, "Playa Haters in Dis House"
The temptation in proving you can throw down better than a bunch of peeps associated with a quasi-A-list actress's blog is to go the ultra-obscuro hipster route in terms of the music. But I'm of the opinion that all you get with that strategy is a bunch of rich people in asymmetrical haircuts standing around looking stupid and dancing stupid as well. (Which is kind of what I imagine a Gwyneth Paltrow dance party would look like, actually, minus the haircuts.) The truth on God's green earth is that the best party music is made and embraced by poor people marginalized by mainstream jerkfaces well before it gets co-opted by those selfsame jerkfaces, who steal the music and make millions off of it without ever giving credit or, God forbid, sharing the wealth among the originators. Being poor and marginalized as far as urban metropolises go, it was inevitable that a city like Detroit made ghettotech, which is probably the fourth best genre of music to shake your tail feather to (after hip-hop, reggaeton, and Miami freestyle.) I wanted to put something up by DJ Assault, but most of his songs have lyrics that are so comically dirty and referring to both male and female anatomical parts that you can't even take them seriously. Instead, you get "Playa Haters in Dis House," which is so ridiculously fast and bouncy that there is no way anyone can look too cool dancing to it. Those who lived in San Francisco circa 2001-2 will know this as a mainstay of the now-legendary "Booty Bassment" party at the Whistle Stop, where you'd walk in to a room that was jumpin' and walk out a few hours later completely drenched in beer and sweat from dancing non-stop. Now that was a jam. (Kat)
Frankie J, "Obsession (No Es Amor) [Reggaeton Mix]"
Anyone who knows me well knows in Real Life knows that the music I really get down to is hip-hop and reggaeton. Living uptown in NYC usually elicits these slightly pathetic reactions from people, like, "You're by nothing!" Yeah, whatever -- I'm near the best Senegalese and soul food in the city, not to mention the best reggaeton clubs, so go back to your overpriced fake hunting club bistros and taxidermy bars, jerkface. While everyone knows even just a bit of hip-hop, reggaeton's a whole different creature, which is kind of a cool thing among closet reggaeton fans -- it's like speaking a secret language with people who end up being the best dancers ever. (Including, ahem, the best straight male dancers you will ever see. Seriously, it's so ridiculous how awesome these dudes dance.) Frankie J's not a strict reggaeton artist, per se; he's a Latin hip-hop dude, and his version of "Obsession" was a huge crossover hit, spawning kind of a mini-industry of remixes. Here, it blends the track's trademark ultra-romantic croon with a classic reggaeton rhythm, and it's pretty much a guarantee that your dancefloor honey for the night might bachata with you in a super-awesome way. (By the way, if you are kind of interested in delving deeper into reggaeton, the best compilation is The Beginning: Hip Hop and Reggaeton Classics, which is a great cross-section of different styles.) (Kat)
Pretty Poison, "Catch Me I'm Falling"
As a former club kid in the late 90s, I'm pretty much holding down the fort for the get-down-way-dirty-on-the-dance-floor party people on nogoodforme.com, and the big debate for my last contribution to this installment of Heavy Rotation was whether I was going to do a hip-hop track or a freestyle one. I ended up going with freestyle 'cause I think it's kind of more femme-y and therefore underappreciated (as so many girlcentric/gaycentric/people of colorcentric things are, of course.) Jon Cryer aficionadas might recognize this song from his 1987 film Hiding Out. (Are there any Jon Cryer aficionadas? Or am I just making that up?) It's kind of an archetypal freestyle track: soulful diva vocal, Latin-influenced rhythm and that shiny-sheeny production style so prevalent in the 80s. The high irony is that Pretty Poison were apparently from Philadelphia; this was their only major hit. (I remember the singer's name was Jade Starling, which I thought was such a great name as a pre-teen.) It definitely hits that 80s/nostalgia/pure dance adrenaline spot; I think the only song that could top this would be Company B's "Fascinated," but I already posted that in the very first real Heavy Rotation. See, friends -- circle of life, happening right here. (Kat)
Kim Fowley, "Motorboat"
A couple months ago I took this photo of Kim Fowley and posted it on Facebook with the caption "Kim Fowley Being Evil," and then Cathy left a comment saying: "I think that's redundant since he just IS." Which is so true; Kim Fowley is so evil. But "Motorboat" is a daffy little gem, and I'm stoked that the DJs at The Smell last Friday played it just before Chain and The Gang took the stage, cuz otherwise I might never've been reminded of the song's existence. Besides, it's good to soak up a little evil every now and then. You know who else is pretty evil? SATAN. And we at nogoodforme.com are just crazy for Satan. SATAN = PARTY. (Liz)
24K, "Don't Go There"
I'd forgotten all about this one till it turned up in a Pot Psychology episode a while back, so thank heavens for Pot Psychology. "Don't Go There" wins cuz there's probably no other song in the world that's so aggressively danceable and outrageously feminist at the same time - except maybe for some electroclash track I've never heard, cuz I'm square about electroclash. And right now I kinda wish it were always 1995 just so "Don't Go There" could be on the radio all the time again. MOUTHING OFF AGAINST SEXIST DUDES = PARTY. (Liz)
Tammy and The Amps, "Tipp City"
Actually, the band's just called The Amps; for some reason Kim Deal got rid of the "Tammy and" part before she put out The Amps' one and only record. (A mega mistake if you ask me, but you didn't, so never mind.) By the way, my number-one runner-up for the "frantic party jam" slot ultimately filled by "Tipp City" was The Who's "Doctor Doctor," whose medical imagery I'm really feeling right now, given my recent scoliosis diagnosis. Cuz you know what they say: SCOLIOSIS = PARTY. (Liz)
The Association, "Along Comes Mary"
"Along Comes Mary" is a song about punch. I like punch. I like the overly-sweet, carbonated kind of punch. When I was a little kid growing up in Canada there was a drink on the market called Tahiti Treat, which I was only allowed to drink once a week, after gymnastics class, because it would rot my teeth. I looked so forward to it. I hope the punch "Along Comes Mary" is talking about is Tahiti Treat, because it sounds like the exact sonic equivalent of the taste of Tahiti Treat. I can only hope the same is true of "Cups and Punches" by the Fiery Furnaces. "Along Comes Mary" is not just punch-y. It's also punchy. (LJ)
The Smoke, "High in a Room"
My kind of party is the kind of party where you get high in a room. I bet Gwyneth Paltrow disagrees with me on this point. Okay, an hour just passed. I have spent it sitting here, erasing and re-typing the sentence "Because she is a Normie," but I really can't figure out if Gwyneth Paltrow is a Normie or not, and I feel paralyzed by it, like I'll never be able to do anything again until I figure it out. The guitar part of this song is squiggly and carbonated, just like punch. I think what I am really realizing right now is that I Love Punch, and I need to drink more of it, starting this weekend. I need to drink lots of punch and get high in a room, and then maybe I will figure out if Gwyneth is a Normie or not. (LJ)
December's Children, "Backwards & Forwards"
If this song don't make you wanna move, I hope for your sake that you're a lover, because you certainly ain't no dancer! Something I consider particularly fucked up about human history is that, in the 1960s, everything was perfect. The world got it. And then the world abandoned their "getting of it," in the name of the 1970s, which is a fine decade, but it must have been a harsh drag to live in it post-60s This song is utterly irrelevant and un-famous, even though it is more danceworthy than every single Lady Gaga song combined. Gwyneth Paltrow would definitely disagree with me on that matter, which is proof that GOOP sucks, nogoodforme rules, and Gwyneth is a Normie. There! I figured it out! It is now time for me to go live, and drink punch, at eleven in the morning on a Thursday. THAT'S HOW HARD I PARTY. (LJ)
Tags: being square about electroclash, booty bass, Booty Bassment, freestyle, getting high, ghettotech, Gwyneth Paltrow is a Normie, gymnastics, hip-hop, jerkfaces, Jon Cryer, Kim Deal, Kim Fowley, Miami freestyle, partying hard, Pot Psychology, punch, reggaeton, Satan, scoliosis, Tahiti Treat, the 1960s, The Who
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