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Tuesday , December 14, 2010

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAY-Z!

jay1.jpg jay2.jpg jay3.jpg

John Lennon is my hero, but Jay-Z is my IDOL. Jay-Z= the John Lennon of hip-hop.

It all started back in September, when Barker cited Jay-Z's seminal The Blueprint as being one of her Top 3 Albums of the 2000s, and wrote "I play "Takeover" a few months after the hot date and pretend I'm Jay and that loser's Nas." As per usual, Barker was right on the money. "Takeover" became my "getting over the lamest dude on the planet" theme song. I'm so over that jerkbox; if I ever saw him again, I'd be all "Don't throw rocks at the throne, BITCH." A few weeks ago, I got really into The Black Album, and realized that Jay and I have the exact same personality, or ethos at least. I named myself "The Jay-Z of Spoiled 24-Year-Old White Girls."

Today (December 4th, 2009) is Shawn Corey "Jay-Z" Carter's 40th birthday.Jay-Z is the hugest genius of his time, He is a brilliant writer and my writing is seriously informed by his more than anyone else's, not counting James Joyce. If ever you are searching for the perfect fake adjective to describe my writing, I advocate "Jay-Z Joycean."

Last week, nogoodforme reader "tarzanicus" recommended that I listen to The Grey Album, which is mash-ups of The Black Album and The White Album. At first I didn't want to, because I felt it would be disrespectful to Jay-Z's creative vision. Then i got the fuck over myself and now I listen to The Grey Album constantly. Listening to The Grey Album= killing two birds with one stone.

Whenever I get down on myself and feel too lazy to take on the Universe and become the most famous writer of all-time, I listen to Jay-Z and think "Shut up, Laura Jane. Jay-Z was a crack dealer and never gave up. Are YOU a crack dealer? No, you're not. Go write, you ingrate!" and then I do. I am so, so happy that Jay-Z was born. Here is:

Jay-Z & John Lennon, "Allure"-

I like this song extra-a lot because it has my name in it. Says Jay-Z, "The allure of the game keeps calling your name. All the LAURAs of the world, I feel your pain." Thank you so much, Jay!

I also really love when Jay says "I'm not a biter, I'm a writer, for myself and others," and it makes me so happy whenever he says "dude." One day, Jay-Z will figure out that I am a person who exists on the planet, and we'll start hanging out all the time. We'll drink distilled vodka like we was the Russian mafia, and then my Facebook userpic will be me and Jay-Z with our arms around one another, and it'll be just so FRESH TO DEATH.

Today, let us all celebrate Jay-Z's existence by overcoming adversity &/or smoking hella weed. Preferably in blunt form.

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Posted by Laura in Birthdays | Permalink | Leave a comment | Comments (9)

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9 Comments!!

when i found out on the internet that you were going to be posting a 'happy birthday, jay-z!' post i figured it would be the perfect opportunity to tell you how jealous i am about the 'all the lauras in the world' line, but alas - you have beaten me to the punch yet again!

happy birthday, jay!

Our mind-meld is becoming sort of embarrassing, you know? I guess we just walk around the world thinking the exact same thoughts every single second of every single day

Love HOV so much. Haven't listened to The Grey Album but have you heard Jaydiohead? Jay-Z+Radiohead mashup, there are some crazy good ones on there (if http://twitter.com/s_C_ is real, then the man himself has acknowledged it). I believe it's available free at www.jaydiohead.com

honored, love.

duly. blunt-ed. peace be to HOVA, we know HE'S blunting it

By tarzanic on December 5, 2009 4:34 AM

he is looking BADASS in that fur hat

next year I want to have a Happy Birthday Hov party and invite everyone I know (especially all the Lauras) to celebrate the birth of my hero. Incidentally, he is exactly 3 days older than my boyfriend, who also happens to be Amazing and Cool and Special, but I don't often think, "what would my boyfriend do?" when I get into sticky situations and I nearly ALWAYS think, "what would Hov do?"

Hov is SO Laura Jane Faulds Chic in that fur-hat photo

also SOOOOOOO Elizabeth Barker Chic

sarah: i can't believe i'm only now becoming aware of the proximity of hov and rich's bdays! double party!

check out www.jaydiohead.com



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