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Tuesday , December 14, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAY-Z!
John Lennon is my hero, but Jay-Z is my IDOL. Jay-Z= the John Lennon of hip-hop.
It all started back in September, when Barker cited Jay-Z's seminal The Blueprint as being one of her Top 3 Albums of the 2000s, and wrote "I play "Takeover" a few months after the hot date and pretend I'm Jay and that loser's Nas." As per usual, Barker was right on the money. "Takeover" became my "getting over the lamest dude on the planet" theme song. I'm so over that jerkbox; if I ever saw him again, I'd be all "Don't throw rocks at the throne, BITCH." A few weeks ago, I got really into The Black Album, and realized that Jay and I have the exact same personality, or ethos at least. I named myself "The Jay-Z of Spoiled 24-Year-Old White Girls."
Today (December 4th, 2009) is Shawn Corey "Jay-Z" Carter's 40th birthday.Jay-Z is the hugest genius of his time, He is a brilliant writer and my writing is seriously informed by his more than anyone else's, not counting James Joyce. If ever you are searching for the perfect fake adjective to describe my writing, I advocate "Jay-Z Joycean."
Last week, nogoodforme reader "tarzanicus" recommended that I listen to The Grey Album, which is mash-ups of The Black Album and The White Album. At first I didn't want to, because I felt it would be disrespectful to Jay-Z's creative vision. Then i got the fuck over myself and now I listen to The Grey Album constantly. Listening to The Grey Album= killing two birds with one stone.
Whenever I get down on myself and feel too lazy to take on the Universe and become the most famous writer of all-time, I listen to Jay-Z and think "Shut up, Laura Jane. Jay-Z was a crack dealer and never gave up. Are YOU a crack dealer? No, you're not. Go write, you ingrate!" and then I do. I am so, so happy that Jay-Z was born. Here is:
Jay-Z & John Lennon, "Allure"-
I like this song extra-a lot because it has my name in it. Says Jay-Z, "The allure of the game keeps calling your name. All the LAURAs of the world, I feel your pain." Thank you so much, Jay!
I also really love when Jay says "I'm not a biter, I'm a writer, for myself and others," and it makes me so happy whenever he says "dude." One day, Jay-Z will figure out that I am a person who exists on the planet, and we'll start hanging out all the time. We'll drink distilled vodka like we was the Russian mafia, and then my Facebook userpic will be me and Jay-Z with our arms around one another, and it'll be just so FRESH TO DEATH.
Today, let us all celebrate Jay-Z's existence by overcoming adversity &/or smoking hella weed. Preferably in blunt form.
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