Tuesday , June 29, 2010
Heavy Rotation, Special Holiday Edition: Christmas Songs From Lee Scratch Perry, Yellowman, The Beatles, Kay Martin & Her Body Guards, Pink Floyd, and The Beatles!
Lee Scratch Perry, "Santa Claus"
I've decided this year the only holiday music worth listening to is done by reggae and dub artists, or the occasional drunken holiday song by the Fall. This is for those who wish their winter holidays to be a bit more sci-fi splifferific than per usual. This is the most marginally holiday song of all holiday songs, because outside of the mentions of Santa Claus, I'm kind of lost. I really have no idea what Mickey Mouse is doing in this rather manic track, but I'm glad he's in here, hanging out with Santa and a donkey and (I think) a monkey, getting lost in the holy smoke that is Scratch. (Kat)
Yellowman, "We Wish You A Reggae Christmas"
I don't think a song like this needs any explanation. It makes a grand case for replacing any adjective with the word "reggae," though. We wish you a reggae Christmas, and a reggae New Year! Love, tooreggaeforyou.com. (Kat)
The Beatles Christmas Message 1963
Something I discovered just last Sunday is that this darling little site called BeatlesFans.com lets you download all the Beatles' Christmas messages to their fan club members, every year from 1963 to 1969. So much fun! Get to it now! The '63 message is my fave and while it doesn't quite count as a song, you do get bits of "Good King Wenceslas" and "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer/Ringo." Mostly I'm including it here cuz it's so sweetly heart-snuggling in the most Christmas-perfect kind of way, and each of the Beatles gets his chance to shine like the sparkliest treetop star. John Lennon is a delightful wackjob, duh. Paul's part starts off boring - but then he names all the candies that the Beatles like better than Jelly Babies, and you realize you could sit back and listen to 21-year-old Paul McCartney list off different kinds of candy all the livelong day. Ringo's singing is so suave! George is so proud to introduce himself! Also, the whole thing serves as a good reminder to start using "dead" as an adverb more frequently. As in, nogoodforme.com is dead pleased to wish you a very merry crimble, and a happy goo year! (Liz)
Kay Martin and Her Body Guards, "My Santa Daddy"
My buddy James put this on his "Happy Birthday, Baby Jesus" mix last year; it's the sluttiest Christmas song ever and makes Madonna's version of "Santa Baby" sound like Cindy Brady. And though I resent the notion of Santa Claus as a cashmere-wearing, Cadillac-driving old horndog, it's real hard not to admire the narrator-gal's moxie. Fave line, for instance: "Now I learned lots of things when I studied at Vassar, but what Santa Claus taught me was really a gasser!" I'd totally say "natch" all the time if I could somehow pull off that exact enunciation. (Liz)
Pink Floyd, "Apples & Oranges"
"It's a happy tune, and it's got a touch of Christmas in it," said Syd Barrett, about "Apples & Oranges." When I was a little girl, Santa and I had an inside joke where he put a clementine in my stocking every year (I'm not sure why this was so funny, but it GOT ME EVERY TIME!), so that's probably what Syd Barrett was referring to. Or maybe this song is what Santa was referring to. Yeah, at this point, I'm about 90% sure that Santa Claus is actually Syd Barrett. That's why Syd Barrett "went crazy," y'all. Because he became Santa! In 1971. It was a "Tim Allen in The Santa Clause"-type situation. Speaking of The Santa Clause, The Santa Clause was filmed in my hometown of Oakville, Ontario. Speaking of Paul McCartney, I'm 100% sure that he ripped off the "I DON'T REALLY WANNA STOP THE SHOW" part of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" from the part of "Apples & Oranges" where Syd yells, "THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO KNOW!" (2:20). I'm onto you, Paul McCartney. (Laura Jane)
The Beatles, "Christmastime (Is Here Again)"
In real life, I work at a store. At "my" store, we listen to the Christmas songs XM radio station, all day, every day. It never plays "Christmastime (Is Here Again)", but it DEFINITELY plays both "Wonderful Christmastime" and "Happy Xmas (War is Over)" like 30 billion times an hour, which are the #1 and #2 songs of all time that make me hate John Lennon & Paul McCartney most. It also plays this retarded version of "Jingle Bells" that is made out of barking-doggie noises, and once every half-hour, some asshole in the military sends out some bullshit Christmas wish to his family, and also, I know the Sirius XM "Holiday Traditions" jingle off by heart, and I really hate that about my life. "Christmastime (Is Here Again)" is my third-least-favorite Beatles song of all time (after "She's Leaving Home" and "Blackbird"), but it's still the best Christmas song ever. I'd like to thank "Holiday Traditions" for having shitty, pedestrian taste in Christmas songs and never playing "Christmastime (Is Here Again)", because "How Satellite Radio Ruined The Beatles For Me" is not an essay I EVER wanna have to write. (Laura Jane)
Tags: Barker loves the Beatles, candy, Christmas, Cindy Brady, clementines, dub dudes, George Harrison, John Lennon, Kay Martin, Laura loves the Beatles, Lee Scratch Perry, Madonna, moxie, Oakville, Paul McCartney, reggae, Ringo Starr, Santa Claus, satellite radio, slutty Christmas songs, Syd Barrett, The Santa Clause, Tim Allen, Yellowman
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4 Comments!!
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omg, the lee scratch perry and pink floyd are so delightful!
By Liz
on December 23, 2009 10:01 AM
Kat! Reggae Christmas music is my #1 most cherished childhood Christmas memory! Thank you!
By Samantha on December 23, 2009 10:20 AM
samantha, you are welcome! have a reggae merry christmas! xo k.
By Kat
on December 24, 2009 12:56 AM
LOL at "he became santa y'all" and "it was a tim allen in 'the santa clause'-type situation" HAHAAA
By katie rose on December 24, 2009 11:29 PM