Thursday , July 22, 2010
Random Picture Entry: Savannah, Georgia is the Disneyland of Laura Jane
LEFT: The street in Savannah looks like 101 Dalmatians!!!; RIGHT: weeping willows are way cooler than weeping cuz you fell on ice
I haven't been mean enough to the winter on nogoodforme.com this year.
It's motherfucking freezing out, and I want to fucking die, kind of. It's the intense sort of cold where your fingers go numb through your mittens, and your fingers hurt, and that can't be healthy for you, you know? The asshole wind is an asshole, and it slaps you around like you're its bitch. To make matters worse, my glasses fog up anytime I walk into Starbucks. This is not okay.
On my way to Starbucks this afternoon, I slipped on the ice and took the hugest fucking spill. This group of douchey little pre-teen boys saw it all go down, and they started yelling "Ha-ha" to me, in the "Nelson from The Simpsons" way. It was humiliating, and I wished I could kill them. I wanted to scream, "DO YOU EVEN HAVE ANY FUCKING IDEA HOW FUCKING LAME YOU ARE FOR MAKING FUN OF ME IN A NELSON MUNTZ VOICE???" but instead, I threw my hands up in the air and said "Yeah. I fell," and then moved on with my life, only now I have a really painful bruise-y gash thing on my left thigh.
Sometimes, when it's unbearably cold out, I like to imagine myself using my Mother's credit card information to purchase an airplane ticket to Savannah, Georgia, and then hang out in the sunshine until my parents get wise to what I've done. I'm never going to do this, obviously, but it's so tempting. What could the repercussions possibly be? What could my parents really do about it? They'd be fucking pissed, understandably, but it's not like they'd stop loving me. BUT DON'T WORRY, MOM, I'M NOT GOING TO STEAL YOUR CREDIT CARD AND RUN AWAY TO SAVANNAH.
Instead, I came home, nursed my wounds, and looked at pictures of Savannah, Georgia on the Internet. Savannah is the city of my soul. I'm so stoked to be a sixty-year-old writer in my Savannah mansion one day. Fuck the winter. Here's Savannah:
LEFT: This townhouse is a little chintzy for my tastes but u take what u can get in this life u know????; RIGHT: This one's actually haunted in real life so that's pretty awesome
CLICK BEHIND THE JUMP FOR THREE COUNT 'EM THREE MORE SAVANNAH MANSIONS!!!!!!
LEFT: This one is probs my favourite of the whole lot, nice and ostentatious; RIGHT: sick tree placement
ABOVE: Whoooaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tags: adolescent males are the worst people on the planet, credit card theft, Georgia, Laura hates winter, mansions, Random Picture Entry, Savannah
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It is fucking 5 fucking degrees here today. If you can fly to Omaha, I can drive us all to Savannah.
By Bridget on January 28, 2010 10:01 PM
Pretty sure that's actually Spanish moss, not a Weeping Willow. But, you know, whatevs. You can have a pass. Not everyone can be from Georgia and know these things, I guess.
I wonder if Savannah offers Segway tours of haunted mansions
I REALLY HOPE SO
By Mary on January 28, 2010 11:07 PM
SO TRUE- that town is magical for reals. Savannah up, winter down.
By Mandate of Heaven on January 29, 2010 12:29 AM
I lived in Savannah for 4 years and I do miss it in the winter. The last mansion you have I'm pretty sure belongs to Savannah College of Art and Design. p.s. they do give tours of some of the haunted houses. there are tons of ghost tours to enjoy.
By Robin on January 29, 2010 9:22 AM
that last comment just broke my heart because I was seriously starting to plan my life in that last house...it was going to be beautiful
By kelsey on January 29, 2010 2:59 PM
Savannah is awesome! You would seriously love it, LJ. This is my first winter away (lived there for 5 years) and I'm missing the hell of out of the warmer temps...
By Danielle on February 4, 2010 6:08 PM