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Tuesday , December 14, 2010
All-Time Top 5: Reasons Why ART HISTORY is the Greatest Store in the Entire History of the Universe
I. IT'S NIKI'S STORE:
Niki is a legendarily great pal/Paul of mine. Niki is an all around aces human being, and obviously it is our duty as humans to support every endeavor that humans as aces as Niki take on. Here is some severe proof of Niki's intense awesomeness: once, when Niki was sixteen, she made the joke "Sometimes, I get my age mixed up with the amount of kilograms of dog food I buy," which is an incredibly sophisticated and neo-Early Beatles Clever joke for a sixteen-year-old to make. So, if a person is so awesome that they can be making such brilliant jokes at SIXTEEN, can you even begin to imagine how awesome the STORE such a person opened up at TWENTY-FIVE could possibly be?
Maybe yes, maybe no. You don't have to imagine it. Because you're going to go to Art History now.
LEFT: Niki and I playing with a globe, remaining fragments of our respective innocences in check; THE FAKE DONALD DUCK HEADS
II. IT IS UNIQUE UNTO ITSELF:
Have you ever visited a store that sells fake Donald Duck head candle-holders, a statue of a cat, gorgeous vintage furniture, Valentine's Day cards that you can give to your cat, probably some other things that are cats, AND cat salt-and-pepper shakers?
Obviously not, but that's all going to change. Because you're going to go to Art History now.
III. YOU CAN ACTUALLY AFFORD TO BUY THINGS THERE:
You know what really sucks? Having no money. Probably the worst part of having no money is that you can never afford to buy anything, except, like, two items of clothing at H&M once every six months or so, and you barely even like them. Fun! Niki understands this. Everything at Art History is priced so reasonably that even "Two items of clothing at H&M" level of broke people can afford to buy something wickedly cool there- ONCE A MONTH even!!! The best deal in the entire store is the Elizabeth Rose Toronto Street Name Nameplate Necklaces seen at below left, which are a scant FORTY-FIVE BONES, and then you can walk around being all "Check it out! I live on Palmerston Boulevard!" and strangers will gasp and say "What a beautiful street! What a beautiful necklace! You're beautiful!" So that's neat.
IV. THE "ÀRT" PART OF ART HISTORY:
To quote the Art History website:
"Our shop's purpose is to provide a space for art, vintage furniture and some small housewares at reasonable prices because we think that everyone should be able to own things that they adore. The main shop space is a well-curated mix of contemporary artist works and vintage items, and we've just made a few changes to the back end of the store that will allow us to dedicate space solely to contemporary art by local, national and international artists, showing on a somewhat loose bi-weekly basis.
As artists ourselves there is no separating the art from what we do. So that being said, we aren't going to try to separate anything and instead we'll bring it all together! Contemporary art works, artist multiples and artist books coupled with really special vintage/salvaged pieces hand chosen for Art History."
In so many words: the faux-Donald Duck heads are only the tip of the awesomeness iceberg. GO THERE NOW!!!
V. IT'S LOCATED CONVENIENTLY CLOSE TO A STARBUCKS:
Just to reiterate, Art History is located at 1080 Queen Street West, just east of Dovercourt Road. There is a Starbucks on the corner of Queen & Dovercourt, so after you go to Art History and buy Donald Duck heads, a street-name nameplate necklace, and an "artist multiple," you can saunter on over to the Bux and grab yourself a Venti Bold Roast and an oat fudge bar, or maybe one of those white chocolate macadamia nut cookies, and Oh what a day it will be!
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