Sunday , June 13, 2010
Beatles Photo of the Week: Dreamboat John Lennon in Paris
LJ: This week, I figured out that I want John Lennon to be my boyfriend. This is huge for me.
A few days ago, my Facebook horoscope posited that my attitude toward love is presently "sober and realistic," and it was, like, so true. About me. Right now. So that's why I want to date John Lennon: because I'm feeling "realistic" about love. To quote myself, "In real life, John Lennon and I might really, really, really work." I like to imagine that my life is exactly the same as my life actually is, only I meet this dude, like, on the street, in Toronto. And he's totally just the standard "unemployed dirtbag motivated by delusions of grandeur" I'd normally date, only he also happens to be "John Lennon of the Beatles." It would work. We'd have a functional and mature relationship. "I'm unmoved and unimpressed by your psychotic creative energy," I'd say. "Same," he'd say. It would be liberating. We'd chill each other out. All John Lennon's friends (the other Beatles) would say, "Laura, you're so good for John." We'd be a funny and boisterous duo and everyone would love us. We'd be the Double Ringo of archetypal Johns. We'd make tons of goony faces, and every time we walked down the street together, it would look like this. I was going to make the joke that John Lennon and I would make "sauteed garlic rapini" for dinner, since that seems to be the #1 thing that people in functional relationships do for kicks, but fuck that. John Lennon and I are too cool to sautee shit. We'd eat cereal and it would be hot.
Yeah, and this picture of the Beatles in Paris is this week's BPOTW because it's just so obvious that John is my boyfriend in it. Like, who the fuck else would I date? Paul is a girl, George is twelve and couldn't handle me, and Ringo has weird pants things going on. John is dreamy and looks like the captain of the football team. We should have a circular conversation about "where things are going." We should watch LOST and never wash our bedsheets.
LIZ: Yes, I support this union. So much so that I'll even "take one for the team" by volunteering to date Girl Paul, just so's we can have biweekly Scrabble Night at the ol' Faulds-Lennon flat. We'll drink Charles Shaw cab sauv outta coffee mugs, eat accidentally vegan snacks like BBQ Frito's and Nabisco ginger snaps, listen to Dr. Octagon records, or maybe Smile by Brian Wilson on repeat. The whole game LJ and JL will have a pretty serious edge over me and my fair lady, but then in the end Team Paul will crush it by laying down something like "quetzal" or "asphyxy" right on a Triple Word Score. And then we'll beat them by like 100 points, get up out of our chairs and do a little victory dance, and Girl Paul will totally raise the roof. And then we'll high-five, cuz high-fiving couples are so the most adorable thing in all the world. God, Girl Paul and I are so great together. I can't wait for Scrabble Night!
Tags: accidentally vegan snacks, Barker loves the Beatles, Dr. Octagon, high-fiving couples, Laura Jane plus John Lennon equals love forever, Laura loves the Beatles, LOST, quetzals, raising the roof, Scrabble Night
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Nice, thanks Liz for taking Paul. Now I can start macking on Jane Asher without guilt.
By Michael Fortes on February 21, 2010 3:09 PM
I think this may be the first time the sentence "John Lennon looks like the captain of the football team" has ever existed.
But, like, you can't argue with it...
By Jill on February 21, 2010 4:39 PM
Sorry to confuse matters but... it's not actually Paris. It's the slightly less glamorous Blackpool Tower you can see in the background.
By Katie Alexandra on February 21, 2010 6:43 PM
Oh yeah, good point. About it not being Paris. The website we got the picture from named it "paris.jpg" so I just assumed it was Paris. Clearly that's not the Eiffel Tower.
By Laura
on February 21, 2010 8:36 PM
damn can't stop LOLing at girl paul raising the roof
By Laura
on February 22, 2010 1:11 AM