Sunday , August 8, 2010
Beatles Photo of the Week: The Birthday Boy and The Fake Italian
LIZ: Happy birthday, George Harrison, a few days late! I like to think this snapshot was snapped at some post-bday dinner with your non-BFF Paul McCartney - like, one of those deals where Paul couldn't go to your actual party cuz he had other, more-interesting-to-Paul plans and then offered to take you out a few nights and later and you were all, "Nah, it's cool - don't sweat it, my brohemian" and then Paul was like, "Oh, but I insist, Brobi Won Kenobi!" and you tried your damnedest to weasel your way out of it but then you here you are this restaurant that looks vaguely Mediterranean but maybe it's just some hole-in-the-wall Italian dive and that checkered tablecloth's made of plastic. But the pasta fagioli's to die for! That's what Paul says when you get your menus, and he punctuates it by doing that thing where you gather together the fingertips of one hand and then kiss your nails and then splay your fingers, all in one swift fake-Italian motion. He's such an adorable little fake Italian, that Paul. I bet when your meal arrived he was all "Mangia, mangia!" and then when the waitress came over to ask how ask how the food was he cried "Ah, benissimo!" and of course gave her a big wink.
Anyway, George Harrison: you look so good! Your hair is very "now." Your eyes are soulful yet seductive, in a puppy-dog-esque way some dudes probably spend their whole lives trying to pull off. I like your shirt. I don't like Paul's shirt. What are you guys watching? Probably the keno scores, even though you're not playing keno, you're just kinda sick of talking to each other. Which is totally fine! It's your birthday, George Harrison! Order whatever you want for dessert. I recommend the semifreddo di amaretto. Arrivederci, amore mio!
LJ: Holy shit, dudes. How fucking funny was that shit Elizabeth Barker just wrote? I can't compete with that. Instead, I'm going to say a few nice words about George Harrison, in honor of his hot dead ass recently turning "some crazy age":
The only Beatle* who sucked harder at writing love songs than Paul McCartney was John Lennon. George Harrison is responsible for every great Beatles love song: "For You Blue", the Anthology version of "Something", "Long, Long, Long" (if you pretend it's about girls not God), "Within You Without You" (if you pretend it's about making it not meditating), and, most importantly, "You Know What To Do":
Which is the most beautiful love song of the entire Beatles. It was written by Baby George in early 1964; to quote Wikipedia, "After the Anthology 1 was released, Harrison was asked about the song and he said he didn't even remember its existence, and that it was just as well because it wasn't a good song." GOD! Stop being such a negative Nancy, George Harrison. "You Know What To Do" is my "mooning over dudes" staple, so heart-smashingly beautiful. I am so in love with the accidental brilliance of "And if you want me, just like I need you"- compellingly adorable/ adorably compelling.Like, what love song did John or Paul ever write that comes anywhere close to the prettiness and sincerity of this diamond? "Don't Let Me Down," the ultimate ode to creepy co-dependence? A fake story about a meter maid he doesn't even end up getting it on with? No, no and no. Shut up, John and Paul. This song sounds like Lou Reed if he wasn't a jerk on drugs. It renders the entire Velvet Underground unnecessary.
*Not counting Ringo
Tags: Barker loves the Beatles, birthdays, broisms, fake Italians, George Harrison, Laura loves the Beatles, Lou Reed, love songs, pasta fagioli, Paul McCartney, semifreddo di amaretto
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Got something to say? We'd love to hear it! Name, email and "type in the weirdo drunken text" thingie are all required to comment; don't worry, we won't email you or anything, we just want to make sure you're not an evil spambot. Keeping in mind the good-times mentality we like to keep going here, we've worked hard to keep NOGOODFORME.COM as fun as possible. We welcome all kinds of comments, but insults/abuse/general bitchery are not tolerated. In other words, we put the smackdown on evil troll posts. If you want to be a hater, please go elsewhere. Now, as Salt 'N Pepa say, "Only the sexy people..."
is george drinking milk?
By dani on February 28, 2010 7:40 PM
dani harrison?
By kristin on February 28, 2010 10:22 PM
I want him to be drinking a margarita
By Laura
on March 1, 2010 1:05 AM
"This song sounds like Lou Reed if he wasn't a jerk on drugs. It renders the entire Velvet Underground unnecessary."
Laura, in the ass-wupping world series of Beatles related banter, you just wupped yourself a trophy.
Though I do agree with George - "You Know What To Do" is crap. Did you forget about John's "Julia"? What could be prettier and more sincere than that little tune? Granted, it's about his mother, but still.
By Michael Fortes on March 1, 2010 12:43 PM
I did forget about "Julia," yes. But, yeah, no, it doesn't count. It's about his MOMMY. What, John Lennon, are you a toddler? Love songs for your mommy do not count as love songs in my books.
By Laura
on March 1, 2010 4:03 PM