Thursday , July 22, 2010
THE ASTRO-BEATLES POWER HOUR, by Laura Jane Faulds
Fucking Fuck Yeah, Laura JANE. I did it, Guys! I told you I was going to make astro-Beatles mixes for every zodiac sign, and then I DID. Because I'm awesome, and this is the exact sort of thing that I can contribute, to society. Just call me The Susan Miller of Penny Lane. If you want.
Anyway, yeah, I did this. I did this for EVERYBODY, because I think it's important. I think it's important that every single person reading this goes and makes a playlist of the Astro-Beatles mix I made for them, and then uploads it to their stupid iPod or whatever, listens to it, and has an Astro-Beatles Power Hour with themselves. Then, report back to me. It is so important, to have Astro-Beatles Power Hours. It's just something you need to do, as a human being, in my opinion. It helps you connect to the Universe, and yourself. While living your Astro-Beatles Power Hour, which means, "listening to the Astro-Beatles mix I made you," you should probably do something related to your Zodiac sign. I like to live my Astro-Beatles Power Hours while sitting on my balcony, drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes and looking at the sky, and thinking about it (the sky), because I'm a Cancer, and that's a very Cancerian experience to have. Tauruses should have Astro-Beatles Power Hours while sitting in the woods. Leos should live Astro-Beatles Power Hours while looking at lions at the zoo. Capricorns should have their Astro-Beatles Power Hours at Starbucks. Etc etc etc. GOD. What would this world do without me??????
I also went through the trouble to bold the Beatles songs from all your Astro-Beatles mixes that I feel are most important to embodying the spirit of your particular Zodiac sign, in case you are one of the crappier Zodiac signs and thusly are too lazy and jaded to participate in an entire Astro-Beatles Power Hour. Please, at very least, do me a favor and listen to those songs, and think about your Zodiac sign.
I promise it's so worth it. Cosmically worth it.
Arieses are aggro and pushy, like John Lennon's moon sign. They should listen primarily to early Beatles songs that are forceful and instructional in nature.
I. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band; II. She Came In Through The Bathroom Window; III. Kansas City/Hey-Hey-Hey-Hey; IV. Slow Down; V. You Can't Do That; VI. Besame Mucho; VII. My Bonnie; VIII. Run For Your Life; IX. Got To Get You Into My Life; X. When I Get Home; XI. Shout; XII. Good Morning Good Morning; XIII. Why Don't We Do It In The Road?; XIV. It Won't Be Long; XV. I'm Down
Tauruses are like trees. They should listen to Beatles songs that sound like the colours green and brown. Also: olive.
I. Back in the USSR; II. One After 909; III. Cry For A Shadow; IV. Old Brown Shoe; V. Get Back; VI. What Goes On; VII. With A Little Help From My Friends; VIII. Maggie Mae; IX. Cayenne; X. I've Got A Feeling; XI. Come Together; XII. Any Time At All; XIII. You Know My Name (Look Up The Number); XIV. Rocky Raccoon; XV. Good Night
Geminis are sharp and peppy, just like the man himself: Sir Paul McCartney (who is a Gemini). Geminis should listen to buoyantly lame Paul classics of lameness, and also some Ringo shit. Ones with "Honey" in the title.
I. The Night Before; II. Honey Don't; III. Step Inside Love/Los Paranoias; IV. Mother Nature's Son; V. I'm Happy Just To Dance With You; VI. The Ballad of John and Yoko; VII. Honey Pie; VIII. Maxwell's Silver Hammer; IX. There's A Place; X. Another Girl; XI. Good Day Sunshine; XII. Think For Yourself; XIII. I Want To Tell You; XIV. Ticket To Ride; XV. Birthday
Beautiful wonderful us Cancers are the moon and the ocean and the stars and the sky. Cancers understand everything and feel shit hard and believe in the magic of the Universe. They cry a lot and also smile quite a bit. Cancerians are the Beatles song "Because", which is the only Beatles song that is TRUE.
I. Here Comes The Sun; II. Rain; III. You're Going To Lose That Girl; IV. Please Mr. Postman; V. Baby's In Black; VI. I'm Only Sleeping; VII. Blue Jay Way; VIII. BECAUSE; IX. Eleanor Rigby; X. I'm Looking Through You; XI. I've Just Seen A Face; XII. The Word; XIII. You've Really Got A Hold On Me; XIV. Julia; XV. Long, Long, Long
These people are fabulous. Leos are like lions. They talk too much.
I. Eight Days A Week; II. She's A Woman; III. I Saw Her Standing There; IV. Dizzy Miss Lizzy; V. Matchbox; VI. Boys; VII. Twist And Shout; VIII. Hello Goodbye; IX. Please Please Me; X. I Wanna Be Your Man; XI. All Together Now; XII. Everybody's Got Something To Hide (Except Me And My Monkey); XIII. The Continuing Story of Bungalow Bill; XIV. I Want To Hold Your Hand; XV. Sun King
I give Virgos a really hard time, but I'm just playin', Bros. You know I love y'all. This playlist is the fucking worst fucking schmaltziest Beatles playlist I've ever heard in my fucking LIFE, but I bet Virgos will dig it a lot.
I. Oh! Darling; II. When I'm Sixty-Four; III. I'll Follow The Sun; IV. Golden Slumbers; V. The Long and Winding Road; VI. She's Leaving Home; VII. How Do You Do It; VIII. I Need You; IX. We Can Work It Out; X. Martha My Dear; XI. And I Love Her; XII. Michelle; XIII. 'Til There Was You; XIV. Here, There and Everywhere; XV. Let It Be
Libras are gonzo and sparkling, like John. I picked a lot of John songs for Libras, because John was a Libra. Also some of the quirkier George ones.
I. Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds; II. I Me Mine; III. Mean Mr. Mustard; IV. You'll Be Mine; V. Not Guilty; VI. Glass Onion; VII. Piggies; VIII. What's The New Mary Jane; IX. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band (Reprise); X. And Your Bird Can Sing; XI. Mailman, Bring Me No More Blues; XII. Sexy Sadie; XIII. Don't Let Me Down; XIV. Hey Bulldog; XV. I Am The Walrus
The other day I saw this dude with a tattoo of a scorpion and the constellation Scorpio tattooed across his bald forehead and I thought, "NO OTHER ZODIAC SIGN WOULD DO THAT." Scorpios are scary and sad and sexy. If Rev9 were people, it'd be Scorpios.
I. In Spite Of All The Danger; II. While My Guitar Gently Weeps; III. I Want You (She's So Heavy); IV. Mr. Moonlight; V. The Fool on the Hill; VI. Nowhere Man; VII. Yer Blues; VIII. Wait; IX. Junk; X. Helter Skelter; XI. Happiness Is A Warm Gun; XII. Girl; XIII. Don't Bother Me; XIV. A Day in the Life; XV. Revolution 9
Sagittarians are fun-lovin' Ringos with hearts of glitter-plastic. They love archery, and Ringo songs. RINGO!!! PS: In real life, Ringo is not a Sagittarius. Though he very obviously should be.
I. Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da; II. Lovely Rita; III. Savoy Truffle; IV. If You've Got Trouble; V. Roll Over Beethoven; VI. Baby You're A Rich Man; VII. Polythene Pam; VIII. She Loves You; IX. Everybody's Trying To Be My Baby; X. Act Naturally; XI. Don't Pass Me By; XII. Yellow Submarine; XIII. Octopus' Garden; XIV. Being for the Benefit of Mr Kite; XV. Magical Mystery Tour
Capricorns, AKA Elizabeth Barkers, are the CEOs of life itself. I trust Capricorns over every other Zodiac sign. I just Freudian-typoed "Zodiac sign" as "Beatles song", by the way. Anyway, yeah, Capricorns should listen mostly to Beatles songs about money, because Capricorns love money, not to mention pragmatism. And pianos.
I. Taxman; II. Getting Better; III. Your Mother Should Know; IV. You Never Give Me Your Money; V. Tell Me Why; VI. Lady Madonna; VII. Come And Get It; VIII. Drive My Car; IX. Things We Said Today; X. Not A Second Time; XI. A Hard Day's Night; XII. Can't Buy Me Love; XIII. Penny Lane; XIV. Carry That Weight; XV. Hey Jude*
*YEAH THAT'S RIGHT BARKER, I GAVE YOU "HEY JUDE"
Aquarians are the exact midpoint between Geminis and Pisceans. I love girl Aquarians, like Yoko Ono, but I would actually rather kill myself than ever date a dude Aquarius again. Aquarians should listen to Beatles songs that are too emotionally intense for Geminis and not weighty enough for Pisceans.
I. Something; II. From Me To You; III. Day Tripper; IV. I Should Have Known Better; V. For No One; VI. For You Blue; VII. Dear Prudence; VIII. All You Need Is Love; IX. I'm A Loser; X. I Don't Want To Spoil The Party; XI. Revolution 1; XII. Dig It; XIII.Flying; XIV. Fixing A Hole; XV. Her Majesty
Pisceans, like George Harrison, God, and my best friend Ally, are the greatest, smartest, coolest, wisest people in the Universe, and we should all just listen to Pisceans constantly, and ignore everything else everybody else ever says, and I picked mostly smart John songs and Indian-y George ones for them, because I feel like anything else would be disrespectful.
I. The Inner Light; II. It's All Too Much; III. In My Life; IV. I Feel Fine; V. Love You To; VI. Cry Baby Cry ; VII. Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown); VIII. Dig A Pony; IX. I Call Your Name; X. Tomorrow Never Knows; XI. Only A Northern Song; XII. Strawberry Fields Forever; XIII.Across the Universe; XIV. You've Got To Hide Your Love Away; XV. Within You Without You
Tags: Astro-Beatles Power Hours, astrology, astrology-themed everything, How to Live, Laura Jane Faulds, Laura Loves the Beatles, The Beatles, The Susan Miller of Penny Lane
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"Tauruses are like trees. They should listen to Beatles songs that sound like the colours green and brown."
This is SO TRUE.
By Samantha on March 9, 2010 12:41 PM
this is so cool and useful and looks really supergreat, visually. thanks for 'hey jude'!
By Liz
on March 9, 2010 12:45 PM
i'm a taurus, and i've got a feeling definitely should've been included AND IT WAS. good job, faulds.
By Brittney on March 9, 2010 1:15 PM
I AM totally obsessed with money! Mostly my lack of it, but obsessed nonetheless. Maybe if I listen to my Capricorn mix money will be more attracted to me.
By Anabela on March 9, 2010 5:01 PM
first off, this is a great idea and i'm SOOOO glad you actually took the time to make these! thanks a mil.
-i'm a gemini and i was really happy with most of the chosen tunes. the few that didn't get my vote were just a little too sappy (paul!), but overall i enjoyed the vibe.
-i also wanted to say that "i want to tell you" is COMPLETELY AND 100% how a gemini feels when they have a crush on someone. nail on the head, dude.
-finally, "ticket to ride" is my spirit beatles song so i was psyched to see it on the list :)
By danielle on March 9, 2010 5:17 PM
I think that yes, Anabela, having a Capricorn-Beatles Power Hour will definitely help you figure out how to make money be more attracted to you. I think we should ALL have Capricorn-Beatles Power Hours, and think about our finances well doing so.
I forgot to mention that it's also highly encouraged to have Astro-Beatles Power Hours with Zodiac signs that are not your own. It will help you gain insight into the world around you.
And good to hear that my Taurus-hypotheses were true; I don't really understand Taureans, but I've really been warming up to y'all lately and I put extra effort into the Taurus mix to try to do right by you guys. I think I'm LONG overdue for a Taurus-Beatles Power Hour, personally.
By Laura
on March 9, 2010 5:20 PM
Thanks so much, Danielle! I'm really into the Gemini Power Hour; it's the one I listen to second-most, after my own. I'm a Gemini cusp so I have a lot of insight into Geminis. You are dazzling human beings, and I'm so honored to have you be a part of my own astrological profile.
By Laura
on March 9, 2010 5:29 PM
I meant WHILE doing so, about Capricorn Power Hours. OH GOD SUCH AN EMBARRASSING TYPO
By Laura
on March 9, 2010 5:35 PM
But I am a Sagittarius and I am definitely not a Ringo and you managed to pick pretty much every Beatles song I don't like :(
By Rebecca on March 9, 2010 5:35 PM
Looking at my Capricorn power hour, I'm wondering if the fact I'm not so much into these particular Beatles songs (except for "Lady Madonna" -- that was my gateway drug) and more into the druggier ones is the reason I don't have any money?
Hmmm. Maybe I need to rethink my musical tastes.
Thanks for the post, LJ. It's a great one.
By Masonic Youth on March 9, 2010 5:38 PM
I wonder if I'm actually a closet Pisces who just happened to be born on the same day as Richard Nixon?
By Masonic Youth on March 9, 2010 5:50 PM
Being called "Aggro and pushy" by Laura Jane Faulds has made this day end finely for me.
So I say: YES SIR!
By Claire on March 9, 2010 7:24 PM
i am SO EXCITED for this. I'm about to get stoned and have an aries astro-beatles power hour.
By dani on March 9, 2010 7:29 PM
This makes me believe I'm a closet Taurus. Or somehow an Aries/Taurus cusp that's more Taurus. Weird. But thanks for doing this LJ!
By Pixie on March 9, 2010 7:48 PM
The Cancer one is SO accurate. I'm hoping it will help me to discover my spirit Beatles song. I've been trying so hard for so long to no avail!
By Steph on March 9, 2010 8:33 PM
Thanks so much dudes!!!!
Masonic Youth, perhaps it is time for you to investigate your Moon Sign/Rising Sign? Perhaps one of them is Pisces!
By Laura
on March 9, 2010 8:41 PM
Astro-Beatles - SO GOOD! Cancers really do feel shit hard and understand everything. It's a burden, and a gift.
Unrelated question: what are your Jay-Z spirit songs?
By Taylor on March 9, 2010 11:06 PM
Thanks, Taylor! I only have one Jay-Z spirit song, and it's "Allure."
By Laura
on March 9, 2010 11:30 PM
i'm a libra and i'm really liking the looks of that list, especially sexy sadie and hey bulldog. nice!
i'm so tired is probably my favorite though, what sign do you think this song belongs to?
also, you inspire me to learn more about astrology, can you recommend any books about it? thanks laura jane, you're the best!
By bethany on March 10, 2010 12:00 AM
oh man, I am SO excited to listen to my very own Leo Beatles mix. Love your description of Leos, especially the bit about talking to much, because it is so me. I also really like the Cancer mix and will be listening to that second, as my moon is in Cancer. Yesterday I was talking to a coworker about astrology and he recommended "The Only Astrology Book You'll Ever Need" and I remembered you mentioning it as well, so I will definitely be checking that out.
By Rachel on March 10, 2010 2:30 AM
I would say that "I'm So Tired" is Libran, so there you go! And yes, "The Only Astrology Book You'll Ever Need."
By Laura
on March 10, 2010 9:15 AM
Laura, as a dude Aquarius, I'd like to thank you for doing me the favor of removing yourself from my dating pool, mostly because there's only room for one Beatles fanatic in my relationships.
Also, I've always been a big fan of Revolution 9, and I tend to hear it as more funny than scary. This makes me realize something very important. The one time I dated a Scorpio, everything was fine as long as I didn't take her wild neuroses for something potentially scary. The moment that I finally did, it was all over. Lesson learned: keep thinking Revolution 9 is funny.
Rock n' roll.
By Michael Fortes on March 10, 2010 1:05 PM
This Cancer mix is spot-on as far as I, a Cancer, am concerned. I am, like, tapping into shit. Today, every hour is my Astro-Beatles Power-Hour!
By Alisa on March 10, 2010 1:18 PM
im such a leo... i immediately scrolled down to my mix and didnt even bother to read any of the other ones.
love my mix, im so glad twist and shout is on it!
By blair on March 10, 2010 11:09 PM
I'm so glad you're a Beatles guru! Almost all the bolded songs in the Scorp mix are already my favorites. Revolution 9 scared me, but I just found a Youtube vid where they play it backwards with vaguely Satanic captions. Somehow that was less scary? I guess I can handle scary if it's captioned.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PG0wksBzKSc
By effingjro on March 11, 2010 1:45 PM
I have always loved this blog but what is up with the virgo hate? Maybe you think that virgos are assholes because they don't appreciate it when you talk smack about their astrological sign. I thought this was a cool idea for a post but you obviously don't want me to enjoy it.
By Holly on March 11, 2010 8:58 PM
I'm sorry to have offended you, Holly. My Virgo-hate is, at this point, totally a joke. I know many wonderful Virgos and love them dearly!
By Laura
on March 11, 2010 9:09 PM
god, this is just too fucking cool...
ahh...i am looking forward to enjoying my cancer playlist..
im glad you're totally creepy with the beatlemania!
By louisee on March 15, 2010 9:54 PM
Why am I creepy with the Beatlemania? I don't think my Beatlemania is creepy. I think it's just, "Beatlemania." "Mania" is IN the word, you know?
By Laura
on March 16, 2010 5:53 PM
I feel like I should have been born a leo! This is awesome to the infinity.
By alex on June 20, 2010 2:11 PM