HEY YOU! NOGOODFORME.COM is now found at...NOGOODFORME.COM! You've stumbled upon our old mirror site instead. Please point your browsers to NOGOODFORME.COM instead and update your newsfeed to http://feeds.feedburner.com/nogoodforme/tYOS. Thanks and we shall see you at NOGOODFORME.COM!
Tuesday , December 14, 2010
Heavy Rotation: The Smiths, Depeche Mode, Liars/Devendra Banhart & The Grogs, Ted Nugent, Ol' Dirty Bastard, The Beatles
The Smiths, "London"
Morrissey was a Gemini (well, Taurus-Gemini cusp) and Johnny Marr was a Scorpio. Such a promising, genius pairing, but eventually doomed because of innate volatility and incompatibility. On the good side, this lead to Morrissey's genius, brilliant lyrics paired with Marr's unexpectedly agile, ferocious guitar playing. On the more interpersonal side, Morrissey's probably hogged all the interviews and Johnny liked to brood in annoyance; that's what happens when you mix air with a fixed water sign. After a solid two-plus decades, my favorite Smiths album recently changed from The Queen Is Dead to Louder Than Bombs. What does this mean? I think it means I am finally grown-up, right? (Kat)
Depeche Mode, "Stripped (from 101)"
Considering the astrological signs of other guitarist/vocalist duos heading up iconic alternative music acts: Martin Gore is a Leo and Dave Gahan is a Taurus. Martin Gore being a Leo makes total sense -- the songs he writes are too flamboyantly S&M to be anything but theatrically Leolike in nature, and there's a kind of Broadway quality to a lot of his melodies that reads as "PAY ATTENTION TO ME, I AM WONDERFUL." But Dave Gahan being a Taurus? Blows my freakin' mind. I have no idea what kind of music a Taurus would make. Aries is easy: punk. (I've known a disproportionate amount of Aries dudes who were punks.) Gemini: Something with intricate guitars and wordplay. Cancer: a cross between something lovely but moody or a Courtney Love-like howl at the moon. (Although M.I.A. is a Cancer -- this also blows my mind.) Virgo: math rock. Libra: pop princes and princesses, although PJ Harvey is a Libra, so go figure. Scorpio: anything you can make out to, or noise. Sagittarius: something clever, like Vampire Weekend, but better than Vampire Weekend. Capricorn: good old solid rock 'n roll, something that will collect royalties when licensed for a big-time car commercial. Aquarius: "avant-garde." Or electronic. You know those sections in record stores labeled "avant"? Those are usually for Aquarius. Pisces: something poetic and elusive that will make people try to decipher your meaning for decades after your death. But Taurus: Something earthy yet beautiful, like many Tauruses I know? Enya? Lilith Fair? CERTAINLY NOT DAVE GAHAN! (Kat)
"The Overachievers" by Devendra Banhart & The Grogs*, "Wango Tango" by Ted Nugent
Excepting 13 Van Halen songs and 128 Beatles songs plus sometimes some other Beatles songs, "Wango Tango" and "The Overachievers" are really all I ever listen to right now. When you put them together they form a yin-yang, but like a yin-yang with the same shape and chemical makeup and texture as a Cadbury Creme Egg. There's no symmetry and no perfect "S"-like line curving through the middle; everything just oozes all together like how the pretend-yolk of a Creme Egg never really keeps to the center.
Devendra's the yolk, the yang, the yolk-yang: he's slow and soft and cool and calm, he's the girl part of the egg. Devendra's soul is the surfboard he's singing about in the second verse of the song, floating in the ocean at Malibu, under the stars.
Ted Nugent (The Nuge, Teddy Nuggles) is the white, the yin; he's fast & hard & hot & rough. Obviously he's the dude, the Grossest Dude in All the World.**
Not so long ago I read a story about a man who wanted to get good at talking about wine, and he'd heard how some wine's described as tasting like a sweaty sock. So the man sucked on a sweaty sock, to make sure he'd know what he was talking about, just in case he ever came across a glass of sweaty-sock-tasting wine.
Why I told you that is: I think Ted Nugent's soul is a sweaty sock, and I'm scared to suck on it. I very nearly wussed out on posting "Wango Tango" here, cuz it's nasty and I got worried that you couldn't handle it. And by "you" I mean "me." Nasty and gross make me so uncomfortable, even though I fetishize the hell out of them by falling for all these dirtbag rock bands. And then I feel like a fake, a phony, a priss, a princess, some four-eyed egghead who's just no fun at all. It's such a drag, man, and I'm way too old to blame it on Kurt Cobain. I'm also way too old to whine a lot about being perpetually surrounded by the kinda kids*** who will maybe always assume that I love a Ted Nugent song ironically, or to feel so spiritually oppressed by such assumptions. "You know what happens when you assume!" I should maybe just say. "You make an ass out of Uma Thurman."
And then I should just go on and get over it forever, and stop being scared to play you "Wango Tango." Unconditionally loving dirtbag rock bands is my version of being good at talking about wine; it's critical to my development as a human (or to my devolvement as a human, when you think about how in some ways I was way more with-it when I was nine). Probably it's a waste of time to try to prove to everybody that's I've got a real sleazy heart too, in my own adorable way. But probably it's not a waste of time to eat all the Cadbury Creme Eggs I can get my hands on before Easter season's up. Devendra's the yolk, Ted Nugent's the white. I don't know who's the chocolate, whether it's me or god or Paul McCartney or some magic me/god/Paul amalgam I'm not ready to cosmically process yet. For now I don't care all that much, not one bit more than a drop of sweat from the nastiest sock there ever was. (Liz)
*But it's on the album Sisterworld by Liars.
**Also, probably a terrible human being. But I'm mostly ignoring that probability, for the purpose's of this exercise.
Ol' Dirty Bastard, "Got Your Money"
The very first line of this song is the second-most romantic thing I've ever heard in my life, after the time Chandler Bing told Monica Gellar he loves maintaining her.
According to the man on the radio, this isn't spring at all. It's "false spring," he says. But what would my life even be, if I took every "man on the radio"'s word as gold? It's spring. These first gloveless days of ballet flats and and sunshine: time to put internalized pressure on myself to listen to "Baby Lemonade" by Syd Barrett while drinking lemonade! This is no longer how it goes. I'm just so over it. If ODB was still alive, and knew how silly and overwrought I can sometimes be, he'd look me dead in the eye and say, "Nigga, Please," and then I'd giggle and feel really good about myself, because ODB, like, talked to me (!!!) I couldn't make it through "Baby Lemonade", that time, that day, is my point. All I wanted to do was listen to "Got Your Money," so I did. But every one "Got Your Money" listen is actually one-and-a-half "Got Your Money" listens, because the thing that happens is he says, "Recognize I'm a fool and you love me," and I get super-psychotically excited-feeling, and then start the song over again, because I want to recapture that feeling. There's a little ODB in all of us. But maybe, I hope, there's a little more ODB in me, than there is in you. Gonzo, gonzo, gonzo. We're all so very gonzo. I think "I don't have no trouble with you fucking me, but I have a little problem with you not fucking me" is probably the third-most romantic thing I've heard all spring. (Laura Jane)
The Beatles, "Norwegian Wood (This Bird Has Flown)" (ANTHOLOGY VERSION)
Every zodiac sign represents a period of seven years in the human lifespan. Arieses are 0-7; Tauruses are 7-14; Capricorns are 63-70; etc. The zodiac sign Cancer, which is my own, is meant to represent the ages 21-28, which means I am the exact age I astrologically should be, and will continue to saunter along through "my element" for three glorious years. But what if, additionally, every zodiac sign was meant to represent a two-hour interval of the day itself? Arieses are 12 AM- 2 AM; Tauruses are 2 AM- 4AM; Capricorns are 6 PM- 8 PM; etc. The zodiac sign Cancer, which is my own, would be the hours of 6 AM to 8 AM. The most important lesson I have learned in 2010 thus far, is that I need to wake up at 6 AM every morning, so that I can interact with my spirit hours. 6 AM- 8 AM is the greatest time there ever was. At 6 AM, the sky is green and the moon is low.
The second-most important lesson I have learned in 2010 thus far is that I prefer the Anthology version of "Norwegian Wood" to the normal old Rubber Soul version. This is true for many reasons, the most important being that a) it is more "sweeping"; and b) it reminds me of 6 AM, my new "the best time there is." I love "Norwegian Wood" a lot, and I never would've guessed, that I'd love the Anthology version of it BEST. It came as a real surprise to me, but it's so sweepingly true, and I wanted to let you all know, about how great it is, in case you share my same opinion. This realization has rendered the regular Rubber Soul version entirely useless to me. Great shakes, y'all. Great shakes. This Crazy Beatles Adventure, that is my life. (Laura Jane)
Tags: Anthology versions, astrology, astrology-themed everything, Cadbury Creme Eggs, Cancerians, Chandler Bing, Dave Gahan, Depeche Mode, Devendra Banhart, Johnny Marr, Laura loves the Beatles, Martin Gore, morning, Morrissey, Norwegian Wood, ODB, self-acceptance, springtime, sucking on Ted Nugent's soul, sweaty socks, Syd Barrett, Ted Nugent, The Beatles, the Smiths, Uma Thurman, yin-yangs
Share | | | |