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Tuesday , December 14, 2010
5 Reasons to Make It a "Walrus Wednesday" (With a Little Help from "I Am The Walrus," by the Beatles)
I. PAUL IS COOL AT POINTING. When Paul points, at 0:12, it's so cool! It's so glam, so ahead of its time, so gay in that fake-gay/David Bowie kinda way. It's like Paul knows that, not so very far into the future, everybody's gonna wanna be David Bowie and walk around flamboyantly pointing all the time. And Paul beats them all to the punch, cuz he's culturally psychic. At least when it comes to pointing. (Liz)
II. RINGO IS COOL AT SNAPPING. Actually, he's not. I wanted to say something nice about Ringo, but Ringo mostly looks confused about snapping. (I get it, Rich! Snapping is tricky! For instance, I can't snap with my left hand. But I like your poncho thing, and your classic Lounge Ringo moves at 2:25.) Paul is the best snapper, in the Beatles Snapping Contest; George is the worst, a snore of a snapper. And John hardly even plays, 'cause he's so with-it and also the Best-Looking "I Am The Walrus" Beatle by a country mile. (Liz)
III. GEORGE IS COOL AT MAKING ME WANT TO SLEEP WITH HIM. Usually when dudes stand around looking bored, their mouths slightly agape, a la George Harrison at 0:38 of the video "I Am The Walrus" by the Beatles, I think they're gross and I want to kick them a little. But when George does it, I just want to "do it," with George. So mystifying! So magical-mysterious. (Liz)
IV. THE PART WHEN IT LOOKS LIKE PAUL IS JERKING OFF HIS GUITAR: It happens at 1:36, and then it happens again at 1:41. It's great. The primary benefits of dating dudes who play the guitar (or even the bass guitar!) are 1) it gives you insight into their jerking off style (as demonstrated by Paul McCartney at 1:36 and 1:41 into the "I Am The Walrus" music video) and 2) it teaches you what their face will look like when they are having an orgasm. Guitar Solo Face= Orgasm Face. Obviously. This is not new news. (LJ)
V. THE PART WHEN EVERYBODY SMOKES POT: It happens in the last 70 seconds of the song, except it doesn't happen at all. See, in The Beatles by Bob Spitz, there's this bit about how when "I Am The Walrus" came out, people thought the Beatles were saying "Everybody smoke pot" over and over at the end. Which is endlessly amusing to me, because imagine what life would be like if John Lennon seriously believed "Everybody smoke pot" to be a good lyric? Life would be about 8 zillion times lousier, that's what would it be like. Everything amazing would be vaguely shitty; the whole world would look like it was being filmed in some washed-out/dishwater-y/Saved by the Bell kinda lighting instead of Magical Mystery Tour-ish psychedelic Technicolor. Thanks, John Lennon, for never making us live that boring-bad life. Thank you forever and ever. (Liz)
Tags: Barker loves the Beatles, Boring Bad, David Bowie, George Harrison, I Am The Walrus, jerking off, John Lennon, Laura loves the Beatles, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Saved by the Bell, snapping
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Posted by Liz in The Young Person's Guide to the Beatles |
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1 Comments!!
I really agree, about the point
By Laura
on March 18, 2010 3:13 AM