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Tuesday , December 14, 2010
John Cale of the Day: Day 1
Hi! Welcome to "John Cale of the Day," the new nogoodforme column I self-indulgently decided to create to highlight my recent fanatic obsession with John Cale. Basically, I want to blast the entire Internet with an overwhelming amount of John Cale-related content in a very short period of time. Let's all get to know and love John Cale together.
Also, in case you're wondering, the "John Cale of the Day" is always just "regular John Cale." That's the whole point of it all. Every day of my life, I give John Cale a prize, for being himself. He wins "John Cale of the Day," from Laura Jane. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, Thursday, etc. John Cale is the John Cale of the Day.
You probably know John Cale as being the dude from the Velvet Underground who is second-most-famous after Lou Reed. The cool thing about John Cale is that he put out like seven trillion solo albums post-Velvet Underground, which are perfect. They're all really wacky and lush and romantic and remind me of Southern Gothic, only Welsh Gothic. Speaking of John Cale being Welsh, did you know that John Cale only spoke Welsh up until he was seven years old? Isn't that so cute? Baby John Cale speaking Welsh?
Anyway, my point is: the John Cale albums called Vintage Violence, Fear, Paris 1919, and Helen of Troy are fucking fantastic, and if you like rock music at all, you'd be doing yourself a disservice by not listening to them (#doublenegative). So quit being dumb, and listen to John Cale.
Seen above is a picture of John Cale on the hottest day of his life. I've seen a lot of pictures of John Cale on Google Image Search today, and, in most of them, he's way less hot than this (though still hot for sure). If John Cale were a twenty-five year old dude existing in my life today, I would recommend that he use this image as his Facebook profile pic. Like, wow. What a man. Seriously. You know what I hate about the Velvet Underground? How much they talk about heroin. The Velvet Underground & Nico is basically, like, only about heroin. That is such negative art to put out into the world! But John Cale, in this picture, looks like, "No. I'm man enough to NOT take heroin. Fuck heroin. I'm John Cale. I'm a cool genius from Wales. I'm a man. I don't need heroin."
In this video for "Sunday Morning" by the Velvet Underground, which is probably kind of about heroin, John Cale looks like a sexy Scorpio Zorro vampire, and works it.
This song is called "Gun" and it's from Fear
"Gun" by John Cale is the sexiest, hottest shit in the UNIVERSE. I couldn't even wait until Heavy Rotation to post this song to the Internet. The Internet needs to understand how cool it is NOW.
The one and only downside of "Gun" by John Cale is that the first lyric ended up being "Me and my partner" and not "Me and my panda" (like, "pahhhhn-da," in a Welsh accent), as I initially thought, but the coolness of the "gun/begun rhyme" compensates for everything. That's one of my favourite rhymes I've ever heard, and that's saying a lot, because I'm very conscious of rhymes.
It's just so COOL! This is as cool as music gets. Straight cool. It's swivelly and swaggery and "like gravel," but also very "Piano Lessons Pretty" underneath. John Cale is a Pisces, and Pisceans are so good and cool like the ocean. My other big point about John Cale is that the dude of my dreams would have the words Vintage Violence tattooed on his inner left forearm, and I'd be like, "That is so cool. You're a fox." What's more, if the general semblance/demeanor of the dude of my dreams could be encapsulated by one song, it would be "Gun" by John Cale. I mean the dude of my dreams that exists in my head. LISTEN UP, BOYS
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