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Tuesday , December 14, 2010
Ringo's Best Birthday Ever! (Courtesy of Paul McCartney)
Paul awoke, his heart all aflutter. Today was his friend Ringo's birthday, and Paul would give Ringo the grandest, gayest, most gala birthday celebration the sweet young lad had ever known! Oh how Ringo's sad blue eyes would twinkle and glimmer, when he laid them upon all the delightful birthday treats Paul had prepared! Paul could hardly contain himself, just thinking of the boundless and unparalleled joy he was about to bring to Ringo's simple heart. He went right to Ringo's room, woke him with a boisterous yet perfectly pitched solo rendition of "Happy Birthday to You," and told him of his first treat of the day: Ringo would be allowed to cook and serve breakfast to all the Beatles, and even pour their tea! Ringo was overjoyed, as pouring tea made him feel quite tall inside.
While the Beatles enjoyed their breakfast, Paul put on his headphones and listened to his Astro-Beatles mix, but a special sub-playlist made only of songs written by him. It was so good!
After breakfast, it was time for Ringo to open his presents. Some stuffed animals:
Some record albums:
A very comfy new sweater, with "R" for "Ringo"!:
Plus some new sunglasses, an art set, and and all-expenses-paid trip to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando, Florida! Ringo put the sunglasses right away. They made him feel so cool!
Once all the presents were opened and Ringo had put them away in their proper places, Paul thought it would be fun to make a few prank phone calls. Unfortunately, Ringo wasn't very good at prank phone calls and kept mucking up the punchlines, saying things like "Do you have Chef Boyardee in a can? Better go catch it!"
Paul was disgusted.
He thought maybe Ringo would be better at prank phone calls if they sat in a baby carriage on the sidewalk, but that didn't help either.
Paul was getting quite flustered, but he quickly chased away the grumbly black rainclouds rolling into his magnificently sapphire-encrusted and gold-enrobed heart, picked Ringo up like a baby or a blushing bride, and gave him a ride all about the town. Which made Ringo a little sick in his tummy, but he didn't mind. He didn't mind at all!
As if that wasn't magical enough, Paul then told Ringo he could play with Paul's dog for five whole minutes!
For lunch they had a fancy picnic, during which they talked in Fancy Picnic voices.
Then it was time to go to Florida! Ringo had the butterflies about flying, but Paul knew his own child-like and preternaturally endearing enthusiasm for air travel was infectious enough to calm Ringo's tender nerves.
After they landed, Paul wielded his uncommon charms once more and talked their pilot into letting Ringo pretend to fly the plane. Ringo was overjoyed, as sitting in the cockpit made him feel quite tall inside.
Next they went to visit Harry Potter! Paul and Ringo even got to wear real wizard robes and pointy caps, just like Harry himself! Ringo was positively dumbfounded by the wonder of it all. Paul thought it was quite nice as well, but he was preoccupied with putting together some notes he wanted to pass off to film director David Yates for his upcoming cinematic adaptation of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Parts I & II.
After Paul and Ringo left The Wizarding World of Harry Potter and stopped by the adjoining Universal Studios for a ride on Men In Black: Alien Attack, they went back to their special oceantop hotel so Ringo could fish for their dinner. Paul kept a close watch to make sure Ringo caught the most majestic fish in all the sea.
Once they'd finished their dinner, Ringo found a quiet spot and took out his new art set so that he could try to paint his feelings about all the fun he and Paul had shared today. He used lots of orange, yellow, and pink, and tried to mix the green and brown just right so they could perfectly form the sweet hazel of Paul's eyes. In the end he messed it up, and decided to give Paul blue eyes. That way they could be just the same!
Paul loved the painting so much, he called down to room service and asked them to send up the most glorious cake that had ever been baked.
They ate up every last bit, and Paul made sure Ringo did a very good job of brushing his teeth.
My, what a big day they'd had! The only thing that could make it any better would be if Ringo was allowed to smell Paul's deliciously fragranced and lushly textured hair, thought Paul.
"Would you like to smell my hair, Rich?" Paul asked.
Ringo said yes, of course. And he smelled Paul's hair, which had the scent of orange blossoms and rose petals and lavender buds and fresh-cut peaches and warm laundry and summer and springtime and the crispest crackliest apple-y-est autumn day and all of the best-smelling scented markers in Ringo's new art set, all at once. Ringo knew he was a very lucky boy to have Paul for a friend, and he would never ever forget that in all his life.
And Paul felt so very lucky too.
P.S. Happy birthday, Ringo!
PEACE AND LOVE
Tags: baby carriages, Barker Loves The Beatles, birthdays, cake, Chef Boyardee, Fancy Picnic Voices, feeling quite tall inside, fishing, Florida, flying, grumbly black rainclouds, Harry Potter, Men In Black Alien Attack, Paul McCartney, prank phone calls, Ringo Starr, stuffed animals, sunglasses, sweaters, tea, wizards
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