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Tuesday , December 14, 2010
Imaginary Shopping Spree: Nine-Year Old Boys Are The Ultimate "Effortless Chic" Icons
It's one of the weird Holy Grails of fashion to look like you don't try too hard, like you just wake up in the morning and grab some shit in the dark and still manage to look faaaabbbbuuulllooouuuusssss. The truth of the matter is that "effortless chic" is a lie, even if you are a Balenciaga muse and you never brush your hair. If you really want to look all "effortless" and "unstudied," you should be emulating the style of nine-year old little dudes! No one has ever accused a nine-year old boy of "trying too hard" when it comes to getting dressed. To judge from my own nine-year old nephew, he just tosses on whatever as fast as possible, shovels breakfast in his mouth and then rushes downstairs to play video games all day. His and his buddies' default fashion choice are jeans, high-tops and t-shirts that are hilariously "EXTREME!!!" in their graphic choices and font selections. Make sure your commitment to personal grooming is equally lackadaisical and be obsessed with playing Modern Warfare 2 as much as your mother will humanly let you and voila! Effortless chic, complete with effortless lifestyle!
Below, some boys t-shirts from Target. This is as much "fashion" as a nine-year old boy can stomach, plus kids' shirts are all cheap. (As a grown lady, I buy the larger sizes, which works for me, as I am not endowed with an ample bosom. If you can't cram your boobs into a kid-sized t-shirt, look for stuff with robots, dinosaurs, surfers, skaters or astronauts. Kiddos love astronauts. Or cram your boobs into an astronaut t-shirt anyway. I'm sure that works, too, on some level.)









This is my nephew Julian. T-shirt says it all!

Tags: astronauts, effortless chic is a lie, kids, Modern Warfare 2, nine-year olds, t-shirts
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Posted by Kat in Imaginary Shopping Spree |
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Once back in the day when I worked at McD's, a kid who was definitely around 9 years of age told me he was wearing a jacket designed by some famous rapper, I really wish I could remember which one!!!!!! It was someone who had changed their name to something fancy sounding with initials, but it was not Sean Combs. Kid said that it could not get wet due to the fabric content. This was during the spring in Western Washington State, where it rains a lot. He was sooooooooo trying too hard. Now that I think about it, maybe he was making it up. But even that would be weird!
By Liina on August 18, 2010 12:45 PM
this is kind of the most awesome thing i've heard today! ok, maybe some 9 year old dudes try too hard...but they do it in really funny ways! can you imagine what he'd tell his buddies at school? xo k.
By Kat
on August 18, 2010 2:28 PM
Imaginary Shopping Spree is one of my favorite columns anywhere, but this entry is off-putting with the link to Target. It would work so much better with 2ktshirts or to any other T-shirt vendor who didn't just very publicly donate six figures to the campaign of a candidate who wants to amend the state constitution to block federal laws and stop marriage equality.
By Casey on August 18, 2010 5:10 PM
I was folding a table of boy's t-shirts a couple nights ago at work, and there were DEFINITELY a couple of them that I wished came in grown-up lady sizes.
By Sophia on August 18, 2010 9:26 PM
OMG that picture! The T-shirt does indeed say it all.
By John on August 19, 2010 12:10 AM
I fold tables of boys' t-shirts at work sometimes too!!!!
By Laura
on August 19, 2010 8:47 AM
Oh it was Master P!!!!!!!!!! I just remembered!!!!!!!!!! But in his clothing line he called himself something different, maybe his Christian name ha ha ha.
By Liina on August 19, 2010 2:16 PM
oops, dudes, totally dropped the ball on the Target thing...that is not cool! anyway, check out the kids' tees at bustedtees.com/kids.
also, if anyone wants to be more proactive about telling target about supporting anti-gay marriage political candidates, you should email them at guest.relations@target.com. although in my perfect world, marriage would be abolished altogether and only civil unions would exist for everyone!
also, Liina: MASTER P!!!!! OMG!!!!
and John: yes, that t-shirt does say it all! i wish i knew where it still was, the kiddo said he still has it somewhere but i fear it's gone to the wilds where t-shirts go to get lost! :-(
By kat on August 19, 2010 5:57 PM
OMG! Do they make that shirt in my size? Your nephew is so cute! And it looks like he could be a burgeoning model. It fact, in this pose, he's giving us a little Tyson Beckford;) http://www.brothers45.com/displayimage.php?album=10&pos=5
By Grace on August 20, 2010 7:47 AM
that shirt's pretty big on him...i'm sure you could fit in it! yes, my nephew's supercute! actually, it's funny, i think he was scouted by a children's modeling agency looking for "ethnically vague" kids when he was a baby, but my sister didn't want to exploit him. or his ethnic vagueness, i suppose :-)
xo k.
By Kat
on August 20, 2010 2:32 PM