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Monday , July 26, 2010
Happy Birthday, Mick Jagger!
Tags: birthday girls, Mick Jagger
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by Liz in Birthdays
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Tuesday , July 6, 2010
Three Ways To Celebrate Ringo Starr's 70th Birthday
Ringo's birthday is tomorrow! Here's how to help:
1. GIVE RINGO WHAT HE WANTS. Spinner.com recently asked Ringo what he wanted for his 70th, to which Ringo replied: "At 12 noon wherever you are, just for me, if you could put your fingers up and go, 'Peace and love,' that would be great. That's the world's present to me." So you should do that, for Ringo. Also, apparently Twittering "Peace and love" is considered an acceptable alternative to saying it out loud. I'll probably say it out loud and Twitter it, in addition to writing it in a blog post. Just a heads-up.
2. DRINK A RINGO STARR. If you'll remember, last autumn Laura invented Beatles-themed cocktails, and the Ringo Starr was pink wine and Bacardi and orange soda, and it was so deeelish, so easy-peasy! Btw, did you know that Ringo is a recovering alcoholic who only eats steamed vegetables and juice? It's true. And maybe it's sad for Ringo that he won't be able to drink a Ringo Starr at his bday party, but I hope not. I hope Ringo is never sad, ever in all his life.
3. PRETEND THAT RINGO'S BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS ARE ONE IN THE SAME. "Christmas" is Latin for "Birth of Ringo," right? Sure! So you should totally listen to the Beatles' 1964 Christmas message, captured in the YouTube clip below. After the part where John yells "NOW!!!!" and the part where George says "'spect a lot of you saw it more than once!" and the part where they all fake laugh, everything Ringo does is my favorite. Especially when the glass smashes and he asks "who's dropping that?..." in the eensiest little voice, and when he says the thing about "We've been to Australia, and America, and New Zealand - and Australia! And New Zealand!" But most of all I love how Ringo would like to thank us just for being fans. That's just the kind of stand-up guy our birthday boy is.
Tags: birthdays, peace and love, Ringo Starr
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by Liz in Birthdays
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Monday , July 5, 2010
Happy Birthday Week, Ringo! (With Heather McCartney On Drums) Ringo Starr is turning 70-years-young on Wednesday! To celebrate, I'm going to Ringo-post every day this week, beginning with the best four-second video that ever happened to the Internet:
Tags: birthdays, Heather McCartney, Ringo Starr
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by Liz in Birthdays
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Thursday , June 24, 2010
The Official Theme Song to Laura Jane Faulds' 25th Birthday
Your birthday is important. It is the only day of the year that belongs entirely to you. I haven't listened to "Birthday" by the Beatles all day today, because I haven't really felt like it. Instead, I got a massage, which was my most brilliant birthday idea yet! Now, I'm waiting for my hair to dry. After my hair dries, I'm going to drink a glass of white wine alone somewhere and write in my notebook. After I do that, I'm going to go meet Neil Aspinall for cosmic sangria. I'm not really sure what I'm gonna do after I drink cosmic sangria, but I'm sure it will probably be fucking awesome, because it's my birthday. And I deserve no less.
PS: THX 4 THE THEME SONG KATIE ROSE
Tags: Andrew Loog Oldham, birthdays, Katie Rose, Laura Jane Faulds, Neil Aspinall
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Monday , June 21, 2010
Happy Birthday, Ray Davies!
Today is Raymond Douglas Davies' 66th birthday. In addition to being the seventh son of a seventh son, Ray Davies is also the #1 man of all time that I would like to marry in 1972.
Let's celebrate Ray's life by watching "03 Alcohol Beat Club 1972," the greatest Kinks video on all Youtube.
Tags: alcohol, birthdays, Canceminis, Ray Davies, Raymond Douglas Davies, the Kinks
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by Laura in Birthdays
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Monday , May 17, 2010
Happy Birthday, nogoodforme.com!
Guess what, Gang? It's nogoodforme.com's Birthday Week! Nogoodforme.com is a Gemini/Taurus cusp, and this year we're turning SEVEN- or twenty-one in blog years, which means nogoodforme.com can finally drink legally in the United States of America. So buy nogoodforme.com a drink this week. Buy nogoodforme.com a tequila shot. Buy nogoodforme.com three tequila shots.
Anyway, in the grand tradition of past nogoodforme.com birthdays, we'll be celebrating our faces off all week long with the 2010 installment of our Style Icons series, so get ready for some seriously serious birthday energy around these parts!
We are wearing party hats as we blog. Seriously. I'm serious.
Tags: birthdays, nogoodforme.com, turning seven
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by Laura in Birthdays
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Wednesday , April 21, 2010
Happy 63rd Birthday, Iggy Pop!
God we looked so good together, back in the day.
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by Liz in Birthdays
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Friday , December 4, 2009
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JAY-Z!
John Lennon is my hero, but Jay-Z is my IDOL. Jay-Z= the John Lennon of hip-hop.
It all started back in September, when Barker cited Jay-Z's seminal The Blueprint as being one of her Top 3 Albums of the 2000s, and wrote "I play "Takeover" a few months after the hot date and pretend I'm Jay and that loser's Nas." As per usual, Barker was right on the money. "Takeover" became my "getting over the lamest dude on the planet" theme song. I'm so over that jerkbox; if I ever saw him again, I'd be all "Don't throw rocks at the throne, BITCH." A few weeks ago, I got really into The Black Album, and realized that Jay and I have the exact same personality, or ethos at least. I named myself "The Jay-Z of Spoiled 24-Year-Old White Girls."
Today (December 4th, 2009) is Shawn Corey "Jay-Z" Carter's 40th birthday.Jay-Z is the hugest genius of his time, He is a brilliant writer and my writing is seriously informed by his more than anyone else's, not counting James Joyce. If ever you are searching for the perfect fake adjective to describe my writing, I advocate "Jay-Z Joycean."
Last week, nogoodforme reader "tarzanicus" recommended that I listen to The Grey Album, which is mash-ups of The Black Album and The White Album. At first I didn't want to, because I felt it would be disrespectful to Jay-Z's creative vision. Then i got the fuck over myself and now I listen to The Grey Album constantly. Listening to The Grey Album= killing two birds with one stone.
Whenever I get down on myself and feel too lazy to take on the Universe and become the most famous writer of all-time, I listen to Jay-Z and think "Shut up, Laura Jane. Jay-Z was a crack dealer and never gave up. Are YOU a crack dealer? No, you're not. Go write, you ingrate!" and then I do. I am so, so happy that Jay-Z was born. Here is:
Jay-Z & John Lennon, "Allure"-
I like this song extra-a lot because it has my name in it. Says Jay-Z, "The allure of the game keeps calling your name. All the LAURAs of the world, I feel your pain." Thank you so much, Jay!
I also really love when Jay says "I'm not a biter, I'm a writer, for myself and others," and it makes me so happy whenever he says "dude." One day, Jay-Z will figure out that I am a person who exists on the planet, and we'll start hanging out all the time. We'll drink distilled vodka like we was the Russian mafia, and then my Facebook userpic will be me and Jay-Z with our arms around one another, and it'll be just so FRESH TO DEATH.
Today, let us all celebrate Jay-Z's existence by overcoming adversity &/or smoking hella weed. Preferably in blunt form.
Tags: assholes suck, birthdays, Elizabeth Barker, James Joyce, Jay-Z, John Lennon, Laura loves the Beatles, The Jay-Z of Spoiled 24-Year-Old White Girls
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Saturday , October 31, 2009
Happy Birthday, Adam "Ad-Rock" Horovitz!
Today (October 31st, 2009), Adam "Ad-Rock" Horovitz of the Beastie Boys (my third-favourite band of all time) turns forty-three years old. Forty-three strikes me as a creepily old age for Ad-Rock to be; Ad-Rock, you don't look a day over thirty-seven!
Ad-Rock is one of my favourite people ever to have been born on this planet. Ad-Rock's forty-three years ago birth has greatly benefited my life over the years. Ad-Rock's spirit animal is a black labrador puppy. If I could pick one dude from all recorded history to be my fraternal twin brother, it would be Ad-Rock. Ad-Rock is my favourite Beastie Boy. I relate to Ad-Rock a ton. Here are some reasons why:
1. "So what if I'm a ham and cheese on rye? I gots to do my thing and that's no lie."
2. "I'm all fucked up and I wanna so I'm gonna."
3. I'm a water sign.
4. I'm a wiry, dynamic brunet(te).
5. "The gift of gab is the gift that I have."
6. "I'm Adam and I'm adamant about living large" (only in my case, I'm "Laura". This is an opinion I also share with Adam "MCA" Yauch. They are both adamant about this.)
7. One of Ad-Rock's many "rapping names" is "The Kid." I too am The Kid! When people call me Kid (which happens a lot, because I project really intense "Call me Kid!" vibes), I feel like I am "seen." Once, I was in Liverpool, and a creepy old man said "Oy! Kid! Can I 'ave a fag, then?" and I was like "Oh my God! You get me!" So there's an anecdote from my life that has very little to do with Adam "Ad-Rock" Horovitz.
In conclusion: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ADAM "AD-ROCK" HOROVITZ! My birthday present to you is that I will be your Personal Assistant if you want me to. Also, Happy Birthday to ALL THE HALLOWE'EN SCORPIOS out there! Congratulations on having a really killer birthday. You are wonderful, exciting, and complex human beings.
Seen below is a clip of Ad-Rock being awesome, ADD-charming and a feminist at the 1999 MTV Video Awards. He is wearing a basset hound t-shirt and is at his all-time cutest. This is my favourite video on all YouTube.
Tags: Adam "Ad-Rock" Horovitz, basset hounds, birthdays, black labrador puppies, feminism, Hallowe'en Scorpios, Liverpool, Scorpios, The Beastie Boys
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by Laura in Birthdays
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Sunday , June 21, 2009
Happy Birthday, Ray Davies! Oh My God! It's Ray Davies' birthday today! CANCEMINI FORTNIGHT 2009 is in full effect! In both theory and practice, Raymond Douglas Davies is the Ultimate Cancemini. In terms of actual birthdates, you can't be more Cancer/Gemini cusp-y than June 21st. In terms of actual Cancemini behaviors, you can't be more Cancer/Gemini cusp-y than Ray Davies. Homeboy's particularly erratic brand of emotional instability just screams Cancemini. Compared to Ray Davies, I am barely even Cancemini-esque at all. Compared to Ray Davies, I'm a Virgo. I racked my brain all morning trying to figure out what my birthday present for Ray Davies could be. I listened to "Autumn Almanac" really loud and danced cool-ly in my bedroom to it, but that didn't seem good enough. I already wrote him the best thing I've ever written and think about him constantly; that doesn't really require any special birthday effort on my end. And then I realized: Ray Davies, my birthday gift to you is myself. I have offered myself to you on nogoodforme.com before, but to no avail. Why? Why, Ray Davies? Why do you not want a kicky twenty-four year old concubine who will worship you, inspire you, and make you tea? Are you secretly gay or something? That seems like the only explanation. Sorry, Ray Davies, I don't mean to clog up your birthday tribute post with petty allegations about your sexuality. I just really want to be your younger lover! I would do such a good job at it! I would call you "Dude," and it would make you feel young again. I can make you happy, Ray Davies. Why are you so blind to this? Why am I only attracted to unavailable men? Why am I only attracted to unavailable men who are sixty-five and the lead singer of the Kinks? Why do I never get what I want? Why is this dweeby message board debate about "Arthur" vs. the Beatles so cool to me? How much is a shilling worth? What time is it? What is a birthday? So many questions, but only one solution- becoming Ray Davies' concubine. Now, let us all watch "Apeman," and swoon.
Tags: becoming Ray Davies' concubine, birthdays, Cancemini Fortnight, Canceminis, Cancer-Gemini cusps, french kissing, Laura, Laura loves The Kinks, Ray Davies, Ray Davies is a genius, Ray Davies' front-teeth gap, Ray Davies: The Ultimate Cancemini, Ray-Davies-Perfect, Raymond Douglas Davies
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by Laura in Birthdays
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