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Wednesday , July 22, 2009

Yum: A NOGOODFORME.COM Summer Tea Party (With No Tea, But Lots Of Booze)

(L to R: Chef Panama Jack; our happy little tea party table; Liz getting totally plastered off of Gin-A-Loupe Cooler.)

While it's good to spend a hotter-than-a-two-dollar-pistol summer afternoon knocking back lime-juicy Pacificos on the front porch, sometimes we like to class it up a little, put on our pretty sundresses, and throw ourselves a tea party. Except instead of tea there's gin - lots and lots and lots of gin. And tea sandwiches, and a really pretty salad, all created by nogoodforme recipe developer Hallie Faben (whom you may remember from last summer's Tom Yum Pops, Samosa Salad, and Vegan Thai Pesto Slaw). Because we're so adorable, we're sharing all the recipes with you. Enjoy, and get in touch with any questions/praise.

pitcher+cantaloupecucucumber.jpg

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Tags: alcohol, being punny, food, gin, not working for Redbook, recipes, summer, sundresses, tea parties

Friday , December 12, 2008

Best of Five: BATTLE OF THE CUTESY ANIMAL WINES

If there are two things I love in this world, they're the Beatles and myself. But, if I had to pick another two, they'd definitely be animals and wine. This month's installment of Best of Five with Laura Jane investigates the recent influx of animal-themed wine that have hit the consumer market. Sure, they're cute; sure, they get you drunk. But which, my friends, is the cutest and the drunkest? I am happy to report that you will find out soon enough.

CUTESY WINE #1: Dog House Patches' Pinot

Location of Origin:California
Classification: Pinot Grigio
Year: 2006 (Wine is weird. Before this exact second, I'd never really considered how creepy it is that when I drink wine, I am essentially consuming rotten fruit from two years ago. Barf!)
Price: $13.95 CAD
Alcohol Percentage: 12.5%
Cuteness Quotient: This shit is a little too much, even for me. Oh, is this "Patches'" Pinot? Well, whoop-de-doo. How invalidating. I'm not even allowed to own my own drunkenness; according to the "Dog House" vineyard, my current state of inebriation "belongs" to some dog from NoCal. Well, fuck that. I'm sure the real Patches is pretty cool, but the haute-adorable, sketchily-rendered little pupsqueak staring at me from my wine bottle is annoying the Helen Keller-vetica outta me right now. I thought Patches' Pinot was kinda cute back when I was sober, but what the fuck did I know? Sober Laura also thought it was a good idea to wear a faux-fur jacket in the pouring rain, and had the audacity to contemplate purchasing a $15 Christmas ornament shaped like a grasshopper from Pottery Barn. I hate Patches. Ew. This wine SUCKS. TOTALLY NOT CUTE. 19/100
Taste: Dude, I don't know! I drink to get drunk. Actually, fuck. Yes I do. This wine tastes like shit. It's really acidic, and not in the LSD way. I think I hate Pinot Grigio. How is this grapes? I can tell they're rotten. I feel terrible about my life right now. Some stupid dog from California is forcing me to drink battery acid; stop laughing at me, Patches! Patches is making me feel like an alcoholic because he tastes nast, yet I am continuing to drink him. Patches is an enabler. Patches could not taste worse if he tried. I hate you, Patches. 0/100
Quality of Drunkenness: Hi, Patches! Have I told you lately that I love you? Because I do. You're adorable, not to mention delicious. It is now three hours and half a bottle of you later, and I feel really chill. Patches-brand drunk feels like a really lovely midpoint between drunk and stoned. Maybe this has nothing to do with Patches and everything to do with my general fatigue, but then again, maybe it has everything to do with Patches. I fear that Patches and my relationship is becoming unnecessarily complicated. Do or don't I love Patches? God- or maybe Patches- only knows. 62/100
OVERALL SCORE: 27%

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Tags: alcohol, alcoholism, animals, Best of Five, bunnies, cutesy animal wine, John Lennon, Laura Jane Faulds, perverts, scrappiness, wine, zebras

Wednesday , October 22, 2008

nogoodforme in the City: The Bestest, Favoritest, Amazingest Vegan Restaurant in All of Freckin' New York City

Okay, to continually steal one of my favorite Liz Barkerisms, I am not vegan nor do I play one on television. So perhaps I am unqualified to rate a restaurant's true vegan-ness. But it is my very non-veganality (and therefore the ability to stack a vegan restaurant's overall qualities against their non-vegan equivalents) that allows me to say without certainty that Cafe Blossom, on the Upper West Side, is my favorite vegan restaurant in New York City -- and it's probably one of my most favorite ANYTHING restaurants as well. I've tried pretty much all the vegan eateries in the city, simply because 1. tons of my friends are vegans; 2. I've dated lots of vegan dudes; and 3. I just like vegan food in general, finding it to be quite creative and healthy. I could probably say something positive about every one of these other places: Candle Cafe, Candle 79, Counter, Wild Ginger, Pukk, Red Bamboo, etcetera and ad nauseum. (There's even a Blossom down in Chelsea, which is a bit more formal than its uptown sister and not as relaxed, although the food is still quite delicious -- Blossom in Chelsea is sort of more "foodie" like, but I honestly prefer a more casual atmosphere when I eat.)

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Tags: food, New York City, restaurant reviews, vegan goodness, veganism

Monday , October 20, 2008

Ask Y'All Anything: Snappy Breakfast Ideas

I've been on this kick lately where I try to eat a decent breakfast, since "breakfast is the most important meal," as the infamous they keep telling me. I think it's true, though -- for the most part since being diligent about morning sustenance, I find myself a happier, more productive person when I eat a good breakfast. I don't get cranky, I work with more focus and life is just better overall. Yay, breakfast! But lately I find myself falling into the "yogurt-with-fresh-fruit-and-almonds" rut. It's not a bad rut to be in (especially since I discovered the amazingness that is Icelandic skyr recently. Skyr = YUM.) But ruts are still ruts. So, anyone out there got some kicky little breakfast ideas and recipes out there that aren't breakfast cereal or yogurt-based? What breakfast meals keeps you happy and zooming along in your life like a cheerful little bee?

Tags: Ask Us Anything, breakfast, food, Iceland, recipes, skyr

Saturday , August 30, 2008

Yum: nogoodforme's end-of-summer salad spectacular

Dudes, where did summer go? Seems like just yesterday we were dropping Beach Boys songs into the jukebox and prattling on about how the whole season's still stretched out ahead of us. And if I'd actually posted this post many moons ago like I'd intended, you could've been wowing your pals all summer long with your culinary magic, perhaps even crowned the belle of every backyard/rooftop BBQ. Sorry I dropped the ball on that. But the upside to my lateness is that posting these super-special summer salad recipes now just might be the perfect expression of end-of-summer denial. Besides, if you live in Southern California like me, then life generally feels pretty summery up until mid-October or so. And if you don't live in Southern California: Move here!

Like our legendary Tom Yum Pops, both salads were geniusly invented by nogoodforme recipe developer Hallie Faben. The one at left is a very clever spin on the traditional potato salad, inspired by all the goodness you'd find stuffed inside some golden-crispy samosa at your favorite Indian restaurant. The other's a Thai-influenced take on cole slaw, all peanutty and spicy and vegan to boot. As always, feel free to email Miss Faben with any questions. Buen provecho!

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Tags: entertaining, food, recipes, salads, summer, vegan goodness

Wednesday , August 6, 2008

We're Obsessed: Zico Coconut Water, Dhani Harrison (sort of)

Zico Coconut Water

Here's a true story: I was shooting video once at a fancy-pants super-plush recording studio (a rare thing these days, I tell you.) This place was so rock-star that it was stocked to the brim with full bar and loads of drinks and tons of snacks and lots of beer and, um, other things. And what disappeared first, even before the "recreational" aids? Zico Coconut Water. That, my friends, is a testament to how yummy and delicious and good this stuff is. If I'm in the mood for liquid refreshment that isn't of the pure water persuasion, the truth is that I like a nice coconut water over Vitamin Water or any other new-fangled delight. Coconuts have tons of potassium, electrolytes, vitamins, fiber, antioxidants, proteins and other good-for-you things, plus they are delicious in a tropical kind of way! (And they are way better for you than those yucky "sports drinks.") Drinking coconut water also makes me reflect fondly upon my ancestral home, where you can buy a fresh green coconut off the street and drink straight from the fruit -- sooooo good. (Book me a flight to Bangkok right now, thank you very much.) Nothing beats that, but Zico adds flavors like passion fruit or mango to the mix. It's all very natural-tasting and just yummerville central, and it adds a nice little kick to mixed drinks, should you be so inclined to experimentation. And it's pretty to look at. What could be better? God, I want one now! (Kat)

George Harrison Junior and Queen Alien Model: Together at Last!

I would probably be all over marrying Dhani Harrison if his band didn't totally suck and he wasn't hobbit-sized. But they do, and he is, so I'm back to square one: being the world's loseriest singleton and/or spending my days pining over a certain 38-year-old comedian. Luckily for me, this spread of Dhani and Sasha Piva... (I DON'T CARE) from Fashion Rocks or whatev captures his uncannily George-esque beauty while ignoring all his lame qualities that only serve to compound the depressing reality of my life (ie. I live in a world where Sho hates me and all the Beatles are either dead, old, lame, or some combination of the three).

Click behind the jump for the full spread, yo. The pic of Dhani rocking the fur hat is the sexiest picture of George Harrison there never was.

Oh, and FYI: I highly wish it was Dhani & Isabeli "Most Beautiful Woman in the World" Fontana instead of Dhani and a creepy extra-terrestrial. (Laura)

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Tags: alien models, coconut water, Dhani Harrison, Isabeli Fontana, Laura loves The Beatles, recording studios, Zico

Saturday , July 26, 2008

Best of Five: Toronto Thai Food!

My name is Laura Jane, and I am both lazy and useless in the kitchen. As nogoodforme.com continues its ascent into Total Universe Takeover by venturing into the endlessly entertaining realm of food blogging, my culinary no-how has left me feeling like a bit of an outcast. But whatever- I may be a crap cook, but I'm damned awesome at eating and spending money!

My new agenda is to eat whatever the hell I feel like eating whenever the hell I feel like eating it, but all-the-while always making sure to photograph my meals out, because eventually I will eat the same general thing five times, and when I do, what have you got? One of nogoodforme.com's "Best of Five with Laura Jane" posts! The concept is self-explanatory, and if you honestly can't grasp what I'm going for here, well, I'm sure you'll put two and two together in about three sentences' time.

(PS: don't forget to make some Tom Yum Pops ASAP! I would, if I weren't so lazy and useless in the kitchen)

1. Bangkok Paradise, 506 Queen St. West

Order: Thai Spicy Eggplant (Phad Ma Kuna); sticky rice; glass of house white wine
Price: $7.95; $1.95; $4.95
What it should have cost: I would say that this meal was adequately priced, except for that I am constantly irritated by having to pay extra for sticky rice. It should come free with the meal.

Food Wrap-up: The quality of my meal at Bangkok Paradise really epitomized the ever-familiar Thai food category of "on the good side of mediocre". I mean, whatevs. It was kind of good; it was vaguely bad. The eggplant was dank ("dank" means "tasty as all-get-out" in my books; I stole that phrasing from my NoCal roommates a couple years ago and never looked back), but the green peppers were undercooked. It was a nice amount of spicy, but the sticky rice coagulated too fast. Etc.
Notes on Ambiance: Ambiance? More like non-ambiance. The inside of this restaurant looks like absolutely nothing. I know that according to Charles Eames or somebody similar, the best design is invisible, but I don't think this is what t/he/y meant. Nevertheless, the service was pretty good, and the staff was all about making sure our meals were spiced to our exact preferred level of spiciness. I appreciated that; who wouldn't?
Apex of Meal: The presence of a house white, duh.
Abyss of Meal: There was no salt on the table! I over-salt my food worse than anybody you've ever met in your life, so that is total blasphemy in my books.
Likeliest Context of Next Visit: I would eat here any time I was in the Queen/Bathurst area and felt like eating Thai food. So next week, probably. And then probably again the week after that, and so on and so forth for the rest of the time I live in Toronto.

Overall Rating (out of 100%): 81%: the solidest B minus you ever tasted.

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Tags: Bartender's Rootbear, Bartender's Rootbeer, Best of Five, eggplant, not-so-yum, restaurant reviews, sticky rice, Thai Express, Thai food, Toronto, vegan goodness, vegan resources, yum

Friday , July 18, 2008

Yum: nogoodforme's recipe for the Best Popsicles Ever

In an effort to become the Bill Cosby of fashion blogs, we're venturing into new territory here on nogoodforme.com: popsicle-making! What you're longingly staring at in the above photo is a coconut milk-basil-lime creation we're going to call Tom Yum Pops, and probably they're the most divine frozen-treat-on-a-stick you'll ever slurp in your whole lovely life. An invention of our fabulous new recipe developer Hallie Faben, they're also super-easy to make (just four ingredients, and voila! - instant popsicle magic). Ever since first tasting them last week I've dreamed about the Tom Yum Pops many a time, and the dream is always happy and oh so coconut-milky-sweet.

All Pudding-Pops-related joking aside, what we're really trying to do here is show up Iron Chef Morimoto's fancy wasabi popsicle recipe that New York ran a few weeks back. Oh, and this post also marks the debut of our recipe column, which we're hoping to run near-weekly. My ambition is to make our recipe posts entertaining-themed (not just what to eat, but what to wear, what to listen to, which marine-life-adorned dishes to serve dessert on), but for this one we're gonna keep it kinda simple. So without further adieu, the recipe. And should you have any questions for our chef, just shoot Hallie a nice little email. Enjoy!

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Tags: Bill Cosby, food, frozen treats, Iron Chef Morimoto, recipes, summer, Tom Yum Pops, yum

Friday , June 20, 2008

Love to Hate, Hate to Love: Pinkberry

Liz: Here's a little public service announcement, courtesy of your ever-trustworthy nogoodforme.com: If you ain't ever been to Pinkberry, don't ever come to Pinkberry.* Just go on living a blissfully Pinkberry-free existence, with an emphasis on the word "free." I used to be free. But then one night after dining a few tables away from Ashley Olsen at an Italian restaurant in Larchmont Village, my friend dragged me to the Pinkberry across the street for pretty little cup of chemical-y green-tea frozen yogurt and fresh berries. And I went, "Yuck, I don't get it!" and that should've been the end of me and Pinkberry. But then something called me back, and I foolishly answered that call, this time choosing original-flavor yogurt over the green-tea variety. Cut to me a few weeks later, and I'm eating Pinkberry for dinner. And now I need it once a week, even though I'm still not sure I actually like it. I thought maybe I'd kick once I started denying myself the secret hidden mochi as a topping option, but no: Yogurt chips and strawberry will do just fine, thanks. I can make no sense of its hold on me, of why - even as I'm sitting here banging out this anti-Pinkberry rant - all I want in the world is Pinkberry. What I should want instead is Scoops, because Scoops is special and full of lovingly made gelatos in flavors like lavender avocado and almond honey ginger and white chocolate sea salt, and they don't play awful techno or greet you aggressively the moment you set foot in the door. So, L.A. ladies/boys, anytime you want Pinkberry, go to Scoops instead. Or, if that gets old, maybe hope on a plane and fly to Boston, go to Christina's and get a cone of burnt sugar, and then die happy.

*Naughty By Nature said this first, sort of.

P.S. Another reason not to go to Pinkberry: You might run into Speidi there. I mean, it's probably rowing its way to Pinkberry right as I type this!
P.P.S. Who am I kidding? If I ever ran into Speidi anywhere, I'd probably jump out of my skin and talk about it all the time for weeks on end.

Kat: Frozen yogurt as a general category of food reminds me so much of some of the evil girls I went to college with that it's always slightly traumatic for me to partake of some. I thought I would never have frozen yogurt, ever, but then a Pinkberry opened up across the street from me. There I would be, stumbling home after going out at night or running to the post office to mail packages or whatever -- and there it would be, that aggressively fresh Cali-cool sign twinkling at me from across the street. Ultimately, though, I'm kind of lazy when it comes to certain aspects of my life, so of course I ended up going inside after craving a creamy cold dessert and being too lethargic to troop all the way to Ben & Jerry's or Haagen Daz. The weird thing is that I was basically mehville about the weird tanginess that is the Pinkberry modus operandi -- and yet I found myself going inside, over and over again, trying to figure out the perfect combination of toppings. Blueberries and almonds? Mochi and strawberries? Blackberries and pineapples? Pinkberry is really about the toppings, because the fro-yo itself is okay but you would never have it on its own. Somehow I just can't stop. I really need to move soon. Or go to Red Mango instead.

EVIL INCARNATE, YET SOMEHOW HIGHLY ADDICTING:

Laura: I'm vegan, which you'd think might mean that I can live an idyllic, Pinkberry-free existence. Too bad ever since Pinkberry burst onto the scene with the force of seven British Invasions, every single person I know feels the need to a) tell me to go to Pinkberry (I'll love it!!!), b) responds skeptically when I remind them that yogurt is not vegan, and/or c) tries to convince me that it actually is vegan, because it is non-food, and people are vapid. I've always felt like a bit of an outsider; the fact that I will never eat a scoop of Pinkberry compounds my "apart"-ness to a degree that I never thought possible. Never having eaten Pinkberry, I just don't get what it means to be a human being anymore. Whatever, bros. If you need me, I'l be eating Rice Dream Orange Vanilla Swirl out of the carton. Enjoy your "mochi".

Tags: dessert, food, frozen yogurt, pinkberry

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Tuesday , June 17, 2008

Yum: Bleeding Heart Organic Bakery, Chicago, IL

As far as baked goods go, my heart belongs to cupcakes. (With brownies being a very, very close second -- if someone starts up a brownie-devoted bakery, I think they could very well take over in my heart.) My ultimate favorite cupcake shop is Sugar Sweet Sunshine here in New York, but a few weeks ago I had the pleasure of checking out the organically inclined Chicago-area Bleeding Heart Bakery, which was marvelous and delectable in so many ways. A cheerfully ramshackle, cozy little space, Bleeding Heart was started by two punk rock sweethearts in Roscoe Village and was the country's first certified organic bakery. Sometimes organic baked goods can be granola-y and weird, but Bleeding Heart's cupcakes keep in mind that the sweetness of decadence is paramount in the baked good experience. Why have a cupcake if you're not some sort of food hedonist? Happily, Bleeding Heart's bakers keep the pleasure principle up front, which is why they have all sorts of AMAZING flavors and varieties, from wonderfully sinful rosewater to your standard awesome red velvet. I've never seen such a wide, intriguing variety of flavors in any cupcake shop before -- it's a testament to true foodie creativity. They also serve many more things for cupcake-haters: amazing bricks of chocolate, scones, tarts, cakes, truffles, homemade ice cream -- things so sweet and tempting they made my head spin with joy at the thought of choosing something. During my visit I had a lovely, subtle Earl Grey cupcake and some fantastic lavender lemonade, which was probably the most delicious variation of lemonade I've had in ages. They play great music, the people who work there are cute and friendly and incredibly helpful, the other customers are unpretentious and hella stylish -- so what are you waiting for? Go!

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