Tuesday , December 23, 2008
TOO GIFTED FOR YOU: For That One Friend SO Impossible to Buy For that You're Close to Giving Up on Gifting Him or Her Entirely
The Teacup Poodle, gizmine.com, $30
It's a fact of life- some people want nothing, need nothing, and, apparently, would hate everything. Counter-intuitively, such gift-averse human beings tend to be the ones who you'd think would be really easy to buy for- people who know exactly what they like, and are really directional in their interests, obsessions, and aesthetics. But all this gets screwed over come Christmas, because you don't want to buy them something they already have, which they probably do (case in point: buying a hardcore Beatles fan The Beatles Anthology).
So, your best bet is to buy these crotchety Scrooge McDucks something completely inane, something that serves absolutely no real function in the world, ie. a Japanese puppy-robot toy of a sleeping baby poodle who lives in a teacup. If you take the poodle-baby out of the teacup, he makes cute little arf-arf pup noises; when you put him back in, he falls asleep and snores.
Nobody really wants this gift, but who cares? It's funny, cheap, cute, and Japanese. If your Hard To Buy For Friend doesn't like this teacup poodle, it's time to cut them out your life. They have a shriveled-up, black little heart, and deserve nothing. Bah Humbug, Loser!
Tags: dogs, frivolosity, gift guide, hard to buy for, Scrooge McDuck
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by Laurain Gift Guide
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Monday , December 22, 2008
TOO GIFTED FOR YOU: For The Camera-Mad Gal In Your Life Um, I just really want this for myself: a Lomo Diana Dreamer medium format camera that makes pictures all pretty and gooey and comes in a perfect pistachio color! What's not to love?
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Tags: cameras and the girls who love them, gift guide, Lomo
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by Katin Gift Guide
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Sunday , December 21, 2008
TOO GIFTED FOR YOU: For the Chic-est Stoner You Know
The Bukket Gravity Bong, bukket.com, $20
I can't imagine a huger turn-off than walking into some sexy-but-you-know-he's-kinda-lame dude's apartment and seeing some gnarly neon plastic bong prominently displayed on his "coffee" (read: pot and porno) table. This brand of dude does NOT deserve an X-mas gift. Forget about him and his Bob Marley tattoo, like, STAT.
Howevski, if you know some sort of Anna Faris in Smiley Face/Margherita Missoni (I hear she likes weed!)-type girl who is a total sweetheart but also a total stoner, I beg you to forestall her from ever becoming the chick equivalent of the aforementioned Sir Nastiness by gracing her sexy self with a Bukket. Bukkets are hot, as high-design as marijuana paraphernalia could possibly be, and Gets The Job Done (with bells on, and I do mean jingle bells). But, most importantly, you can be safe in knowing that the Hottest Bong In Existence will definitely prevent hot dudes from being all grossed-out by your sassy stoner girlfriend's hella pedestrian taste in getting high.
Tags: Bukkets, getting high, gift guide, Margherita Missoni, Smiley Face, smoke, smoking rules
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by Laurain Gift Guide
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Friday , December 19, 2008
TOO GIFTED FOR YOU: For Ladies Who Like to Eat Their Beauty Products One amazing thing about my "real job" is getting to constantly test out new beauty products, usually of the earthy-crunchy-yet-fabulous variety. Two of my recent favorites, both insanely yummy-smelling and totally gift-appropes: LaLicious Brown Sugar & Vanilla Sugar Souffle Scrub (smells so much cookies! Like if you were baking cookies in the bathtub!) and Bella Lucce's Starfruit Banana Butter Creme Bath (made with organic shea butter and lotsa smashed-up banana). Both treats cost $34 but please don't eat them for real.
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Tags: bananas, beauty, cookies, gift guide, jobs that don't suck, organic ingredients
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by Lizin Gift Guide
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Thursday , December 18, 2008
TOO GIFTED FOR YOU: For That Freak Who Really, Genuinely Loves Winter Actually, I am that freak who really, genuinely loves winter. I do. I like sledding, skating, skiing, snow angels, snowball fights, bundling up in Helmut Lang coats, wearing faux-fur scarves and big faux-fur hats, trudging along in snow boots, drinking mulled wine, all that winter jazz. I like any season that legitimizes my hermitlike tendencies. The only time my love for winter truly falters is when the windchill is like below 80 and you can't even turn your heater on. Then I fully acknowledge the suckiness of winter -- but usually I'm a fan. For people like me (who may or may not be niche fragrance fans as well), you could do no better than to give them the highly conceptual but subtly glamorous gift of Winter 1972, from famed perfumer Christopher Brosius's CB I Hate Perfume History line. It's not the cheesy pine scent you'd think -- it's supposed to evoke freshly fallen snow, the sleeping earth and stuff like that. I would say it smells incredibly light and airy, and then dries down to a soft, woodsy note. Either way you shake it, it smells lovely, poetic and a bit unusual -- which is what winter people are all about.
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Tags: Christopher Brosius, perfume, winter, Winter 1972
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by Katin Gift Guide
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Wednesday , December 17, 2008
TOO GIFTED FOR YOU: For Haute Hunds, Scrappy Mutts, Pupsqueaks & Purebreds Bohemian Glass Bead Dog Collars, available at Neue Galerie's "Neue Hund" shop, $900-$1500 Doggone it! I wish I was rich enough to drop a thousand "bones" (Ha Ha! Arf Arf!) on an haute-dog collar. In my opinion, it is really important to "treat" your pup to a holiday gift worthy of your best friend in the world, and I ain't a-woofin'! These glass bead doggie necklaces are beautiful enough to be worn by a human; I think they'd be equally flattering on a prissy little Pomeranian, noble Golden Retriever, or slobbery mutt with different-coloured eyes. However, if you're not rich enough to afford a $1500 accessory for the flea-ridden mongrel you rescued from the Humane Society, which I'm assuming you aren't, check out yummyfordogs.org, a site devoted entirely to dog-friendly vegan recipes that won't make the #1 Canine in your life barf all over the living room carpet. Cook up a batch of Doggie Dreamsicles or Terrier Tea Cakes, and let your precious boy lick the bowl while you give him a killer tummy rub.
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Tags: dog puns, dogs, frivolosity, gift guide, Neue Galerie, Neue Hund, vegan dog food, veganism
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by Laurain Gift Guide
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Tuesday , December 16, 2008
TOO GIFTED FOR YOU: For the Fanciful Yogi Devi yoga mats, $99.95; Saka UnFur Yoga Mat Bag, $58 I fear yoga and only ever use my ratty old mat to practice popping up (because I will surf someday, even if it probably won't happen in 2008 like I promised myself). But if I were to ever set foot in a yoga class, I'd so want to take along a Devi's designer mat (preferably toted in one of Saka's UnFur Yoga Mat Bags, which look exactly like the Abominable Snowman from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer - fantastic!).
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Tags: faux fur, gift guide, gifts, the Abominable Snowman, yoga, yoga mats
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by Lizin Gift Guide
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Monday , December 15, 2008
TOO GIFTED FOR YOU: For your Time-Aware Artsy-Crafty Friend That Has No Time to be Artsy-Crafty The 2009 Linda & Harriett letter-pressed wall calender (available at lindaandharriett.com, $24) will satisfy their yen for the handmade as well as their time-centered neurosis -- all with eco-friendly soy-based inks and recycled paper. It's got charming graphics, an unusual format, cool paper, earth-friendly goodness -- they'll be asking you if you made it yourself, it's so cute.
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Tags: calendars, the inexorability of time, time, vicarious artsy-craftiness
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by Katin Gift Guide
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Sunday , December 14, 2008
TOO GIFTED FOR YOU: For the Girl with the Most Staggeringly Impenetrable Jewelry Collecksh of All Time Golden Saltine Necklace by Emily Elizabeth, available at chocosho.com, $24 No matter how diverse and plentiful somebody's jewelry collection is, I think it is safe to assume that they most likely do not have a Saltine Cracker necklace. Buying an accessories fiend a necklace embellished with a charm of, say, a leaf, is equivalent to buying Laura Jane Faulds a copy of Across the Universe on DVD (DON'T DO IT!). This piece by Emily Elizabeth is whimsical but restrained, totally surprising, and oddly elegant. Just don't try spreading jam on it! You might break your tooth off. PS: Emily Elizabeth's Little Big Statement necklace is also fabulous; pick this one up for your most infamously indecisive acquaintance.
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Tags: accessories, Emily Elizabeth Jewelry, gift guide, jam, jewelry, restrained whimsy, saltine crackers
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by Laurain Gift Guide
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Saturday , December 13, 2008
TOO GIFTED FOR YOU: For the Ickle Baby Hipster
Anise Mouette t-shirts, $15
Last week at the BUST Holiday Craftacular, I dropped by Anise Mouette's booth and picked up a few tees for some teeny tiny people I know. (Babies, cover your eyes! I don't want to spoil your Christmas surprises! Oh wait, you can't read - you're babies!) Not only are the designs supercute enough to make you wish Anise Mouette did t-shirts for big kids as well; they're also way affordable. It's such a nice change from those little-kid boutiques that are all, "Here, buy this $40 Ramones shirt that your kid's gonna grow out of in about three hours." So lame!
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by Lizin Gift Guide
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