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Tuesday , February 23, 2010

Cosmic Coconut Pudding! Vegan Goodness For The Unearthly Sweet Tooth

(L to R: Hallie readies herself for pudding interface; Cosmic Coconut Pudding!, with nutmeg; new Faben family member Ivan asks, "Where's my pudding, dudes?")

Not so very along ago I made a joke about vegan pudding - it was in our Ultimate Beatles Dating Guide, and I was poking fun at Paul and Linda McCartney's meat-eschewing hippie-dippie ways. But vegan pudding is no laughing matter! Vegan pudding is srs biznis, as evidenced by some amazing delightfulness recently whipped up our trusty recipe developer Hallie Faben (the genius behind nogoodforme's booze-soaked summer tea party, plus our dome-blowing coconut milk-basil-lime popsicles, samosa salad, and vegan Thai pesto slaw). It's a Mark Bittman-inspired take on traditional rice pudding, and we're christening it Cosmic Coconut Pudding! in tribute to Cosmic Coconut Coffee! (i.e. the exclamation LJ and I exclaim when we think the same thing at the same time). It's super-simple and just the thing for a cold winter's night when you're all curled up with your monster-feet slippers and chubster kitty-cat (or, maybe, a real sleek and svelte pup like Ivan there).

Here's the recipe, which makes about three or four bowls, depending on the ferocity of your sweet tooth.

COSMIC COCONUT PUDDING!

-1/3 cup white rice (preferably sushi rice, for optimal gooeyness)
-two 14-ounce cans of coconut milk (we used Trader's Joe's light coconut milk, but full fat works too)
-1/2 cup sugar
-1/2 teaspoon salt

1. Preheat the oven to 350.

2. Dump all the ingredients into a medium-sized baking dish, then stir everything together till it's thoroughly mixed.

3. Bake for two hours, stirring every 30 minutes.

Two hours is a long time, so make sure you've got a fun way to distract yourself from your pudding excitement. Hallie and I, for instance, drank two pots of jasmine green tea and came up with a really rad world-domination idea I'm going to share with you at a later date. And those two hours flew by, and the Cosmic Coconut Blissfulness! was so worth the wait. Btw, Hallie tells me you can dress the pudding up a little by adding chocolate chips (which will melt nice and oozily), banana slices and lime, mango, berries - or whatever floats your boat.

Oh and do bookmark Hallie's just-launched and adorably named blog Umami Tooth, which promises to be endlessly chock full of so much foodie inspiration and wonder. Gudden appetit to all!

Tags: blogs we love, Cosmic Coconut Coffee, food, Ivan, monster feet slippers, Paul McCartney, srs biznis, sweets, tea, vegan pudding, winter, world domination

Saturday , February 13, 2010

A Cheap and Easy Cocktail for a Cheap and Easy Valentine's Day

HERE'S HOW TO MAKE A DIZZY MISS LIZZIE, AKA THE BEST VALENTINE'S DAY COCKTAIL EVER

-Spoon 4 (FOUR!) maraschino cherries into your wine glass, or mason jar
-Add a few big glugs of pink wine
-Fizz it up with a couple shots of club soda
-Pour in a lil bit of the cherry juice, and stir with a pink-sugar-coated spoon (optional)
-Drink and get dizzy, like Lizzie

Ta da! Cheap and easy, just like my dream Valentine. It's the lazy lady's take on an Elizabeth Barker, and you should drink it while listening to "Dizzy Miss Lizzie" by the Beatles and wearing the I <3 RINGO pin you bought when you went to see Ringo Starr get his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame last Monday. Ringo doesn't have a whole hell of a lot to do with "Dizzy Miss Lizzie," but he played drums on it - and cowbell! Here's the Shea Stadium rendish:

Tags: alcohol, Barker loves the Beatles, cherries, Dizzy Miss Lizzie, love, pink wine, Ringo Starr, Valentine's Day

Tuesday , January 19, 2010

TOO DRUNKED FOR YOU: NOGOODFORME-Themed Cocktails!

IN PRAISE OF BLACK RUSSIANS

Oh, this is so easy! I'm a Black Russian. There's something really chthonic about mixing together two evils like vodka and coffee. (Well, coffee liqueur, which has got to be way more potent than mere coffee, right?) This makes it a reasonably Goth-y cocktail, and better than the usual Goth cocktails, like snakebites and weird concoctions featuring lots of blackcurrant liqueur. A Black Russian is something both dark yet surprisingly sweet, and like my insomnia-riddled self, it can keep you up for days with all its pent-up energy. It looks very modest, but a night full of them packs a severe-yet-awesome wallop. The only other possibility would be a Jack-and-ginger, which could work, being both kind of rock-morose and yet fizzy and effervescent at once. That is me, too! Don't you love alcoholic beverages as a self-portrait? You can combine your contradictions into one lovely creation! (Kat)

THE ELIZABETH BARKER: MIX TWO PARTS MARIE ANTOINETTE, ONE PART JENNIFER HERREMA, AND A SHOT OF BACARDI

Did you know that I'm in love with raspberry rose macarons, and ate at least two when I saw Marie Antoinette in the theater? Did you also know that Jennifer Herrema of Royal Trux is my number-one style idol evs? Maybe! Maybe you know both those things. But there's no way you could know how to make an Elizabeth Barker, because I just perfected the recipe last night, at the CVS on Glendale Boulevard in Silver Lake.

WHAT YOU DO IS:

1) Make one cup of really strong rose petal black tea. I use Zhena's Gypsy Rose Tea, because it's perfect and I talked to Zhena on the phone once and I love her. Boil a cup of water (from your With The Beatles mug), then steep two tea sachets a long time - like, till the tea's cooled. Then put it in the fridge to chill.

2) Grab a handful of really expensive out-of-season fresh raspberries and mash them up with a packet of sugar you stole from Starbucks. Spoon about half the raspberry-sugar mush into a pretty glass, or a disposable plastic cup leftover from when you went to see Valley Girl at Hollywood Forever Cemetery two summers ago.

3) Add a shot of rum (I used Bacardi, but that bottle with the butterfly on it looks real adorable). Then pour in about half the tea, and a splash of Welch's Strawberry Soda.

4) Stir it all up with a silver spoon. You should have enough tea and raspberry-sugar mush left over for another glass.

So, voila: Raspberries + rose petal tea = Marie Antoinette, and strawberry soda = Jennifer Herrema, because of the Royal Trux song "Strawberry Soda," which you can hear here:

I like to drink it while wearing a heart-shaped ring pop and listening to "Cry Baby Cry" by the Beatles many times, and writing a story that's really good. I think it'll also taste very lovely on Valentine's Day. Oh and I made it once without strawberry soda and with whiskey instead of rum, and that was kinda nice too. Cheers, Big Ears! (Liz)

THE LAURA JANE: AN INSTANT CLASSIC, JUST LIKE PAUL McCARTNEY

(L to R: Clowns LOVE Campari; my fake Cavern Club membership leaflet; a picture of me, not drinking a Laura Jane, because I forgot to take a picture of myself drinking a Laura Jane; in Italy, they sell these cute bottles of pre-made Laura Jane, which is why I'm moving to Italy)

I started thinking about Campari & sodas back when I was first-wave Syd Barrett-obsession-era Laura, because Campari & sodas were 1966-era Syd's drink of choice. I was working at the lame Christmas-centric hellhole I worked at last December, and every morning I would say to myself, "Laura Jane, after work today, you are going to take yourself out to a bar, where you will drink a Campari & soda, and write in your notebook, and it will be awesome." But every evening, I was so tired and sarcasti-suicidal from an emotionally trying day of selling Christmas ornaments to losers that all I could do was trudge home and eat a cookie and go to bed.

Finally, after a week of being unable to motivate myself to go to a bar and drink an alcoholic beverage, which seems weird to me now, I was bored at a bad show on a Monday night. I drank an uneventful glass of white wine, and then thought: "Seriously, Laura Jane? Your priorities are so askew sometimes! CAMPARI! SODA! YOU! SYD BARRETT! NOW!"

The bartender was an old man dressed in the rockabilly style. I was wearing a t-shirt with a picture of a monster named Ivan on it. "I'll have a Campari & soda," I said, and the bartender fell instantly in love with me, as most people tend to do, with the girl (or boy!) drinking a Campari & soda. "What a great drink," he said, shaking his head in amazement/adoration. "One of my favourites. The best summertime drink. A nice tall Campari & soda, with tons of ice and a great big hunk of lemon." I impress people.

"Yeah," I said. "It's kind of, like, my drink." Of course, this was a total lie, since I'd never had a Campari & soda in my life. The bartender complimented me again, and then, in a classic display of maybe-charming Laura Jane gracelessness, I knocked my wallet off the bar, spilling its entire contents- including my fake Cavern Club membership booklet- onto the dirty bar floor. I kneeled down, sighing exasperatedly at my own incompetence. A redheaded Dudemeister helped me clean up the mess. I weirdly snatched my Cavern Club membership brochure out of his hand, which took him slightly aback, but really, I just did not want his pervy Dudemeister germs all over my cherished fake Cavern Club membership pamphlet.

I resurfaced, and was faced with the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen: a frosty tall glass of fizzy, glimmering magenta-coral blitheness-elixir, embellished with a "giant hunk of lemon", gazing up at me from the bar. It was so sexy, I could've cried. "Enjoy, Doll," said my new best friend the bartender, or maybe he said "Darling," or maybe he said "Kitten," or "Cookie," or "The Madcap." I took it back to my table, and, as tends to be the case when you drink Campari & sodas, everybody enviously exclaimed, "Yowza! What is that!?!" and I said, "It's a Campari & soda. It's kind of, like, my drink." I then took a sip of it, and I saw, I felt, I knew: it was kind of, like, my drink.

And that's just my life now! My cool, awesome life of drinking my perfect drink, which is now named "The Laura Jane" and/or "The Madcap," all the time, always and forever. My children will one day associate the cloying-yet-astringent scent of Campari and the clink-clink of heart-shaped ice cubes with their alcoholic famous-writer mother. If all goes according to plan. *crosses fingers*

I'm myself, so I'm probably a pretty decent judge of whether or not a drink tastes like myself or not. So, to answer your question: Yes. But here's the kicker: when you're a Laura Jane drinker, you better get used to everybody asking you for a sip of your Laura Jane. Because it's pink, people imagine it must taste like cotton candy, or kitten juice. But it's actually not sweet at all. It's bitter, and intense. Get the metaphor? I also like that the Laura Jane is simple; effortless, if you will. The complexity is built-in. So's the romance.

The Laura Jane is not for everybody, but it's definitely for everybody who's cool. Like me, my rockabilly bartender, and Syd Barrett. And who else even is there? (LJ)

Tags: Barker loves the Beatles, Black Russians, Campari, careless parenting, Elizabeth Barker, gothiness, hearts, Jennifer Herrema, Kat Asharya, Laura Jane Faulds, Marie Antoinette, raspberries, ring pops, rose petal tea, Royal Trux, rum, Syd Barrett, The Madcap, Valentine's Day

Wednesday , July 22, 2009

Yum: A NOGOODFORME.COM Summer Tea Party (With No Tea, But Lots Of Booze)

(L to R: Chef Panama Jack; our happy little tea party table; Liz getting totally plastered off of Gin-A-Loupe Cooler.)

While it's good to spend a hotter-than-a-two-dollar-pistol summer afternoon knocking back lime-juicy Pacificos on the front porch, sometimes we like to class it up a little, put on our pretty sundresses, and throw ourselves a tea party. Except instead of tea there's gin - lots and lots and lots of gin. And tea sandwiches, and a really pretty salad, all created by nogoodforme recipe developer Hallie Faben (whom you may remember from last summer's Tom Yum Pops, Samosa Salad, and Vegan Thai Pesto Slaw). Because we're so adorable, we're sharing all the recipes with you. Enjoy, and get in touch with any questions/praise.

pitcher+cantaloupecucucumber.jpg

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Tags: alcohol, being punny, food, gin, not working for Redbook, recipes, summer, sundresses, tea parties

Friday , December 12, 2008

Best of Five: BATTLE OF THE CUTESY ANIMAL WINES

If there are two things I love in this world, they're the Beatles and myself. But, if I had to pick another two, they'd definitely be animals and wine. This month's installment of Best of Five with Laura Jane investigates the recent influx of animal-themed wine that have hit the consumer market. Sure, they're cute; sure, they get you drunk. But which, my friends, is the cutest and the drunkest? I am happy to report that you will find out soon enough.

CUTESY WINE #1: Dog House Patches' Pinot

Location of Origin:California
Classification: Pinot Grigio
Year: 2006 (Wine is weird. Before this exact second, I'd never really considered how creepy it is that when I drink wine, I am essentially consuming rotten fruit from two years ago. Barf!)
Price: $13.95 CAD
Alcohol Percentage: 12.5%
Cuteness Quotient: This shit is a little too much, even for me. Oh, is this "Patches'" Pinot? Well, whoop-de-doo. How invalidating. I'm not even allowed to own my own drunkenness; according to the "Dog House" vineyard, my current state of inebriation "belongs" to some dog from NoCal. Well, fuck that. I'm sure the real Patches is pretty cool, but the haute-adorable, sketchily-rendered little pupsqueak staring at me from my wine bottle is annoying the Helen Keller-vetica outta me right now. I thought Patches' Pinot was kinda cute back when I was sober, but what the fuck did I know? Sober Laura also thought it was a good idea to wear a faux-fur jacket in the pouring rain, and had the audacity to contemplate purchasing a $15 Christmas ornament shaped like a grasshopper from Pottery Barn. I hate Patches. Ew. This wine SUCKS. TOTALLY NOT CUTE. 19/100
Taste: Dude, I don't know! I drink to get drunk. Actually, fuck. Yes I do. This wine tastes like shit. It's really acidic, and not in the LSD way. I think I hate Pinot Grigio. How is this grapes? I can tell they're rotten. I feel terrible about my life right now. Some stupid dog from California is forcing me to drink battery acid; stop laughing at me, Patches! Patches is making me feel like an alcoholic because he tastes nast, yet I am continuing to drink him. Patches is an enabler. Patches could not taste worse if he tried. I hate you, Patches. 0/100
Quality of Drunkenness: Hi, Patches! Have I told you lately that I love you? Because I do. You're adorable, not to mention delicious. It is now three hours and half a bottle of you later, and I feel really chill. Patches-brand drunk feels like a really lovely midpoint between drunk and stoned. Maybe this has nothing to do with Patches and everything to do with my general fatigue, but then again, maybe it has everything to do with Patches. I fear that Patches and my relationship is becoming unnecessarily complicated. Do or don't I love Patches? God- or maybe Patches- only knows. 62/100
OVERALL SCORE: 27%

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Tags: alcohol, alcoholism, animals, Best of Five, bunnies, cutesy animal wine, John Lennon, Laura Jane Faulds, perverts, scrappiness, wine, zebras

Wednesday , October 22, 2008

nogoodforme in the City: The Bestest, Favoritest, Amazingest Vegan Restaurant in All of Freckin' New York City

Okay, to continually steal one of my favorite Liz Barkerisms, I am not vegan nor do I play one on television. So perhaps I am unqualified to rate a restaurant's true vegan-ness. But it is my very non-veganality (and therefore the ability to stack a vegan restaurant's overall qualities against their non-vegan equivalents) that allows me to say without certainty that Cafe Blossom, on the Upper West Side, is my favorite vegan restaurant in New York City -- and it's probably one of my most favorite ANYTHING restaurants as well. I've tried pretty much all the vegan eateries in the city, simply because 1. tons of my friends are vegans; 2. I've dated lots of vegan dudes; and 3. I just like vegan food in general, finding it to be quite creative and healthy. I could probably say something positive about every one of these other places: Candle Cafe, Candle 79, Counter, Wild Ginger, Pukk, Red Bamboo, etcetera and ad nauseum. (There's even a Blossom down in Chelsea, which is a bit more formal than its uptown sister and not as relaxed, although the food is still quite delicious -- Blossom in Chelsea is sort of more "foodie" like, but I honestly prefer a more casual atmosphere when I eat.)

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Tags: food, New York City, restaurant reviews, vegan goodness, veganism

Monday , October 20, 2008

Ask Y'All Anything: Snappy Breakfast Ideas

I've been on this kick lately where I try to eat a decent breakfast, since "breakfast is the most important meal," as the infamous they keep telling me. I think it's true, though -- for the most part since being diligent about morning sustenance, I find myself a happier, more productive person when I eat a good breakfast. I don't get cranky, I work with more focus and life is just better overall. Yay, breakfast! But lately I find myself falling into the "yogurt-with-fresh-fruit-and-almonds" rut. It's not a bad rut to be in (especially since I discovered the amazingness that is Icelandic skyr recently. Skyr = YUM.) But ruts are still ruts. So, anyone out there got some kicky little breakfast ideas and recipes out there that aren't breakfast cereal or yogurt-based? What breakfast meals keeps you happy and zooming along in your life like a cheerful little bee?

Tags: Ask Us Anything, breakfast, food, Iceland, recipes, skyr

Saturday , August 30, 2008

Yum: nogoodforme's end-of-summer salad spectacular

Dudes, where did summer go? Seems like just yesterday we were dropping Beach Boys songs into the jukebox and prattling on about how the whole season's still stretched out ahead of us. And if I'd actually posted this post many moons ago like I'd intended, you could've been wowing your pals all summer long with your culinary magic, perhaps even crowned the belle of every backyard/rooftop BBQ. Sorry I dropped the ball on that. But the upside to my lateness is that posting these super-special summer salad recipes now just might be the perfect expression of end-of-summer denial. Besides, if you live in Southern California like me, then life generally feels pretty summery up until mid-October or so. And if you don't live in Southern California: Move here!

Like our legendary Tom Yum Pops, both salads were geniusly invented by nogoodforme recipe developer Hallie Faben. The one at left is a very clever spin on the traditional potato salad, inspired by all the goodness you'd find stuffed inside some golden-crispy samosa at your favorite Indian restaurant. The other's a Thai-influenced take on cole slaw, all peanutty and spicy and vegan to boot. As always, feel free to email Miss Faben with any questions. Buen provecho!

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Tags: entertaining, food, recipes, salads, summer, vegan goodness

Wednesday , August 6, 2008

We're Obsessed: Zico Coconut Water, Dhani Harrison (sort of)

Zico Coconut Water

Here's a true story: I was shooting video once at a fancy-pants super-plush recording studio (a rare thing these days, I tell you.) This place was so rock-star that it was stocked to the brim with full bar and loads of drinks and tons of snacks and lots of beer and, um, other things. And what disappeared first, even before the "recreational" aids? Zico Coconut Water. That, my friends, is a testament to how yummy and delicious and good this stuff is. If I'm in the mood for liquid refreshment that isn't of the pure water persuasion, the truth is that I like a nice coconut water over Vitamin Water or any other new-fangled delight. Coconuts have tons of potassium, electrolytes, vitamins, fiber, antioxidants, proteins and other good-for-you things, plus they are delicious in a tropical kind of way! (And they are way better for you than those yucky "sports drinks.") Drinking coconut water also makes me reflect fondly upon my ancestral home, where you can buy a fresh green coconut off the street and drink straight from the fruit -- sooooo good. (Book me a flight to Bangkok right now, thank you very much.) Nothing beats that, but Zico adds flavors like passion fruit or mango to the mix. It's all very natural-tasting and just yummerville central, and it adds a nice little kick to mixed drinks, should you be so inclined to experimentation. And it's pretty to look at. What could be better? God, I want one now! (Kat)

George Harrison Junior and Queen Alien Model: Together at Last!

I would probably be all over marrying Dhani Harrison if his band didn't totally suck and he wasn't hobbit-sized. But they do, and he is, so I'm back to square one: being the world's loseriest singleton and/or spending my days pining over a certain 38-year-old comedian. Luckily for me, this spread of Dhani and Sasha Piva... (I DON'T CARE) from Fashion Rocks or whatev captures his uncannily George-esque beauty while ignoring all his lame qualities that only serve to compound the depressing reality of my life (ie. I live in a world where Sho hates me and all the Beatles are either dead, old, lame, or some combination of the three).

Click behind the jump for the full spread, yo. The pic of Dhani rocking the fur hat is the sexiest picture of George Harrison there never was.

Oh, and FYI: I highly wish it was Dhani & Isabeli "Most Beautiful Woman in the World" Fontana instead of Dhani and a creepy extra-terrestrial. (Laura)

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Tags: alien models, coconut water, Dhani Harrison, Isabeli Fontana, Laura loves The Beatles, recording studios, Zico

Saturday , July 26, 2008

Best of Five: Toronto Thai Food!

My name is Laura Jane, and I am both lazy and useless in the kitchen. As nogoodforme.com continues its ascent into Total Universe Takeover by venturing into the endlessly entertaining realm of food blogging, my culinary no-how has left me feeling like a bit of an outcast. But whatever- I may be a crap cook, but I'm damned awesome at eating and spending money!

My new agenda is to eat whatever the hell I feel like eating whenever the hell I feel like eating it, but all-the-while always making sure to photograph my meals out, because eventually I will eat the same general thing five times, and when I do, what have you got? One of nogoodforme.com's "Best of Five with Laura Jane" posts! The concept is self-explanatory, and if you honestly can't grasp what I'm going for here, well, I'm sure you'll put two and two together in about three sentences' time.

(PS: don't forget to make some Tom Yum Pops ASAP! I would, if I weren't so lazy and useless in the kitchen)

1. Bangkok Paradise, 506 Queen St. West

Order: Thai Spicy Eggplant (Phad Ma Kuna); sticky rice; glass of house white wine
Price: $7.95; $1.95; $4.95
What it should have cost: I would say that this meal was adequately priced, except for that I am constantly irritated by having to pay extra for sticky rice. It should come free with the meal.

Food Wrap-up: The quality of my meal at Bangkok Paradise really epitomized the ever-familiar Thai food category of "on the good side of mediocre". I mean, whatevs. It was kind of good; it was vaguely bad. The eggplant was dank ("dank" means "tasty as all-get-out" in my books; I stole that phrasing from my NoCal roommates a couple years ago and never looked back), but the green peppers were undercooked. It was a nice amount of spicy, but the sticky rice coagulated too fast. Etc.
Notes on Ambiance: Ambiance? More like non-ambiance. The inside of this restaurant looks like absolutely nothing. I know that according to Charles Eames or somebody similar, the best design is invisible, but I don't think this is what t/he/y meant. Nevertheless, the service was pretty good, and the staff was all about making sure our meals were spiced to our exact preferred level of spiciness. I appreciated that; who wouldn't?
Apex of Meal: The presence of a house white, duh.
Abyss of Meal: There was no salt on the table! I over-salt my food worse than anybody you've ever met in your life, so that is total blasphemy in my books.
Likeliest Context of Next Visit: I would eat here any time I was in the Queen/Bathurst area and felt like eating Thai food. So next week, probably. And then probably again the week after that, and so on and so forth for the rest of the time I live in Toronto.

Overall Rating (out of 100%): 81%: the solidest B minus you ever tasted.

+ Continue reading "Best of Five: Toronto Thai Food!"

Tags: Bartender's Rootbear, Bartender's Rootbeer, Best of Five, eggplant, not-so-yum, restaurant reviews, sticky rice, Thai Express, Thai food, Toronto, vegan goodness, vegan resources, yum

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