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Tuesday , June 29, 2010
Ringo Starr Eats Pizza & Reunites the Monkees!
I vaguely remember watching this Pizza Hut commercial when it first came out. I think it's in poor taste that Ringo says "Lads!", when you still think he's going to be reuniting the Beatles and not the Monkees (which is what ends up happening, in the twist ending), because, I don't know if anyone told the Pizza Hut commercial director about this, but John Lennon died, you know? So why is he calling out "Lads"? Is he calling "Lads!" to the heavens? Stop calling dead people "Lads," Ringo Starr. I don't like when Ringo gets macabre. It scares me.
Although my memories of watching this Pizza Hut commercial are vague, my memories of the cultural hubbub surrounding the introduction of the Pizza Hut cheese-filled crust and subsequent "Eat the crust first!" non-phenomenon are clear as crystal. That pizza was underwhelming, and disgusting. I'm so sorry Ringo Starr had to get involved.
Tuesday , May 25, 2010
I'm Going To Conquer My "Twin Peaks" Fear By Drinking Lots Of Alcoholic Jasmine Iced Tea Lemonade
I watched "Twin Peaks" when it originally aired, in eighth grade, and I loved it and used to wear one of those Double R Diner t-shirts all the time in gym class. And lately I want to re-watch but I tried and it's way too scary! I can't deal. But yesterday I downloaded the creepy-beautiful soundtrack and then 10 minutes later our buddy Andrea posted this Bon Appetit recipe for a drink called the Leland Palmer and we were so eeked out by the spooky "Twin Peaks"-y-ness of the coincidence. What does it mean?????
I think what it means is that the Leland Palmer is so going to be my summer cocktail: it's a boozy version of the Arnold Palmer, with jasmine iced tea and gin and limoncello and honey, and you drink it from a mason jar. Which is how I drink everything anyway. And I wanted to post a video of Dreamboat Bobby Briggs but all that's on YouTube is makeout montages of him and Shelly set to "Bad Romance," so instead you get one of the most brilliant and delightful "Saturday Night Live" skits of all time. My fave is Victoria Jackson as Audrey, espesh when she ties the ribbon into a bow with her tongue:
P.S. Did you read The Secret Diary of Laura Palmer when you were 12? That shit was dirty.
Tuesday , February 23, 2010
Cosmic Coconut Pudding! Vegan Goodness For The Unearthly Sweet Tooth
(L to R: Hallie readies herself for pudding interface; Cosmic Coconut Pudding!, with nutmeg; new Faben family member Ivan asks, "Where's my pudding, dudes?")
Not so very along ago I made a joke about vegan pudding - it was in our Ultimate Beatles Dating Guide, and I was poking fun at Paul and Linda McCartney's meat-eschewing hippie-dippie ways. But vegan pudding is no laughing matter! Vegan pudding is srs biznis, as evidenced by some amazing delightfulness recently whipped up our trusty recipe developer Hallie Faben (the genius behind nogoodforme's booze-soaked summer tea party, plus our dome-blowing coconut milk-basil-lime popsicles, samosa salad, and vegan Thai pesto slaw). It's a Mark Bittman-inspired take on traditional rice pudding, and we're christening it Cosmic Coconut Pudding! in tribute to Cosmic Coconut Coffee! (i.e. the exclamation LJ and I exclaim when we think the same thing at the same time). It's super-simple and just the thing for a cold winter's night when you're all curled up with your monster-feet slippers and chubster kitty-cat (or, maybe, a real sleek and svelte pup like Ivan there).
Here's the recipe, which makes about three or four bowls, depending on the ferocity of your sweet tooth.
COSMIC COCONUT PUDDING!
-1/3 cup white rice (preferably sushi rice, for optimal gooeyness)
-two 14-ounce cans of coconut milk (we used Trader's Joe's light coconut milk, but full fat works too)
-1/2 cup sugar
-1/2 teaspoon salt
1. Preheat the oven to 350.
2. Dump all the ingredients into a medium-sized baking dish, then stir everything together till it's thoroughly mixed.
3. Bake for two hours, stirring every 30 minutes.
Two hours is a long time, so make sure you've got a fun way to distract yourself from your pudding excitement. Hallie and I, for instance, drank two pots of jasmine green tea and came up with a really rad world-domination idea I'm going to share with you at a later date. And those two hours flew by, and the Cosmic Coconut Blissfulness! was so worth the wait. Btw, Hallie tells me you can dress the pudding up a little by adding chocolate chips (which will melt nice and oozily), banana slices and lime, mango, berries - or whatever floats your boat.
Oh and do bookmark Hallie's just-launched and adorably named blog Umami Tooth, which promises to be endlessly chock full of so much foodie inspiration and wonder. Gudden appetit to all!
Saturday , February 13, 2010
A Cheap and Easy Cocktail for a Cheap and Easy Valentine's Day
HERE'S HOW TO MAKE A DIZZY MISS LIZZIE, AKA THE BEST VALENTINE'S DAY COCKTAIL EVER
-Spoon 4 (FOUR!) maraschino cherries into your wine glass, or mason jar
-Add a few big glugs of pink wine
-Fizz it up with a couple shots of club soda
-Pour in a lil bit of the cherry juice, and stir with a pink-sugar-coated spoon (optional)
-Drink and get dizzy, like Lizzie
Ta da! Cheap and easy, just like my dream Valentine. It's the lazy lady's take on an Elizabeth Barker, and you should drink it while listening to "Dizzy Miss Lizzie" by the Beatles and wearing the I <3 RINGO pin you bought when you went to see Ringo Starr get his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame last Monday. Ringo doesn't have a whole hell of a lot to do with "Dizzy Miss Lizzie," but he played drums on it - and cowbell! Here's the Shea Stadium rendish:
Tuesday , January 19, 2010
TOO DRUNKED FOR YOU: NOGOODFORME-Themed Cocktails!
IN PRAISE OF BLACK RUSSIANS
Oh, this is so easy! I'm a Black Russian. There's something really chthonic about mixing together two evils like vodka and coffee. (Well, coffee liqueur, which has got to be way more potent than mere coffee, right?) This makes it a reasonably Goth-y cocktail, and better than the usual Goth cocktails, like snakebites and weird concoctions featuring lots of blackcurrant liqueur. A Black Russian is something both dark yet surprisingly sweet, and like my insomnia-riddled self, it can keep you up for days with all its pent-up energy. It looks very modest, but a night full of them packs a severe-yet-awesome wallop. The only other possibility would be a Jack-and-ginger, which could work, being both kind of rock-morose and yet fizzy and effervescent at once. That is me, too! Don't you love alcoholic beverages as a self-portrait? You can combine your contradictions into one lovely creation! (Kat)
THE ELIZABETH BARKER: MIX TWO PARTS MARIE ANTOINETTE, ONE PART JENNIFER HERREMA, AND A SHOT OF BACARDI
Did you know that I'm in love with raspberry rose macarons, and ate at least two when I saw Marie Antoinette in the theater? Did you also know that Jennifer Herrema of Royal Trux is my number-one style idol evs? Maybe! Maybe you know both those things. But there's no way you could know how to make an Elizabeth Barker, because I just perfected the recipe last night, at the CVS on Glendale Boulevard in Silver Lake.
WHAT YOU DO IS:
1) Make one cup of really strong rose petal black tea. I use Zhena's Gypsy Rose Tea, because it's perfect and I talked to Zhena on the phone once and I love her. Boil a cup of water (from your With The Beatles mug), then steep two tea sachets a long time - like, till the tea's cooled. Then put it in the fridge to chill.
2) Grab a handful of really expensive out-of-season fresh raspberries and mash them up with a packet of sugar you stole from Starbucks. Spoon about half the raspberry-sugar mush into a pretty glass, or a disposable plastic cup leftover from when you went to see Valley Girl at Hollywood Forever Cemetery two summers ago.
3) Add a shot of rum (I used Bacardi, but that bottle with the butterfly on it looks real adorable). Then pour in about half the tea, and a splash of Welch's Strawberry Soda.
4) Stir it all up with a silver spoon. You should have enough tea and raspberry-sugar mush left over for another glass.
So, voila: Raspberries + rose petal tea = Marie Antoinette, and strawberry soda = Jennifer Herrema, because of the Royal Trux song "Strawberry Soda," which you can hear here:
I like to drink it while wearing a heart-shaped ring pop and listening to "Cry Baby Cry" by the Beatles many times, and writing a story that's really good. I think it'll also taste very lovely on Valentine's Day. Oh and I made it once without strawberry soda and with whiskey instead of rum, and that was kinda nice too. Cheers, Big Ears! (Liz)
(L to R: Clowns LOVE Campari; my fake Cavern Club membership leaflet; a picture of me, not drinking a Laura Jane, because I forgot to take a picture of myself drinking a Laura Jane; in Italy, they sell these cute bottles of pre-made Laura Jane, which is why I'm moving to Italy)
I started thinking about Campari & sodas back when I was first-wave Syd Barrett-obsession-era Laura, because Campari & sodas were 1966-era Syd's drink of choice. I was working at the lame Christmas-centric hellhole I worked at last December, and every morning I would say to myself, "Laura Jane, after work today, you are going to take yourself out to a bar, where you will drink a Campari & soda, and write in your notebook, and it will be awesome." But every evening, I was so tired and sarcasti-suicidal from an emotionally trying day of selling Christmas ornaments to losers that all I could do was trudge home and eat a cookie and go to bed.
Finally, after a week of being unable to motivate myself to go to a bar and drink an alcoholic beverage, which seems weird to me now, I was bored at a bad show on a Monday night. I drank an uneventful glass of white wine, and then thought: "Seriously, Laura Jane? Your priorities are so askew sometimes! CAMPARI! SODA! YOU! SYD BARRETT! NOW!"
The bartender was an old man dressed in the rockabilly style. I was wearing a t-shirt with a picture of a monster named Ivan on it. "I'll have a Campari & soda," I said, and the bartender fell instantly in love with me, as most people tend to do, with the girl (or boy!) drinking a Campari & soda. "What a great drink," he said, shaking his head in amazement/adoration. "One of my favourites. The best summertime drink. A nice tall Campari & soda, with tons of ice and a great big hunk of lemon." I impress people.
"Yeah," I said. "It's kind of, like, my drink." Of course, this was a total lie, since I'd never had a Campari & soda in my life. The bartender complimented me again, and then, in a classic display of maybe-charming Laura Jane gracelessness, I knocked my wallet off the bar, spilling its entire contents- including my fake Cavern Club membership booklet- onto the dirty bar floor. I kneeled down, sighing exasperatedly at my own incompetence. A redheaded Dudemeister helped me clean up the mess. I weirdly snatched my Cavern Club membership brochure out of his hand, which took him slightly aback, but really, I just did not want his pervy Dudemeister germs all over my cherished fake Cavern Club membership pamphlet.
I resurfaced, and was faced with the most beautiful sight I'd ever seen: a frosty tall glass of fizzy, glimmering magenta-coral blitheness-elixir, embellished with a "giant hunk of lemon", gazing up at me from the bar. It was so sexy, I could've cried. "Enjoy, Doll," said my new best friend the bartender, or maybe he said "Darling," or maybe he said "Kitten," or "Cookie," or "The Madcap." I took it back to my table, and, as tends to be the case when you drink Campari & sodas, everybody enviously exclaimed, "Yowza! What is that!?!" and I said, "It's a Campari & soda. It's kind of, like, my drink." I then took a sip of it, and I saw, I felt, I knew: it was kind of, like, my drink.
And that's just my life now! My cool, awesome life of drinking my perfect drink, which is now named "The Laura Jane" and/or "The Madcap," all the time, always and forever. My children will one day associate the cloying-yet-astringent scent of Campari and the clink-clink of heart-shaped ice cubes with their alcoholic famous-writer mother. If all goes according to plan. *crosses fingers*
I'm myself, so I'm probably a pretty decent judge of whether or not a drink tastes like myself or not. So, to answer your question: Yes. But here's the kicker: when you're a Laura Jane drinker, you better get used to everybody asking you for a sip of your Laura Jane. Because it's pink, people imagine it must taste like cotton candy, or kitten juice. But it's actually not sweet at all. It's bitter, and intense. Get the metaphor? I also like that the Laura Jane is simple; effortless, if you will. The complexity is built-in. So's the romance.
The Laura Jane is not for everybody, but it's definitely for everybody who's cool. Like me, my rockabilly bartender, and Syd Barrett. And who else even is there? (LJ)
Tags: Barker loves the Beatles, Black Russians, Campari, careless parenting, Elizabeth Barker, gothiness, hearts, Jennifer Herrema, Kat Asharya, Laura Jane Faulds, Marie Antoinette, raspberries, ring pops, rose petal tea, Royal Trux, rum, Syd Barrett, The Madcap, Valentine's Day
Wednesday , July 22, 2009
Yum: A NOGOODFORME.COM Summer Tea Party (With No Tea, But Lots Of Booze)
(L to R: Chef Panama Jack; our happy little tea party table; Liz getting totally plastered off of Gin-A-Loupe Cooler.)
While it's good to spend a hotter-than-a-two-dollar-pistol summer afternoon knocking back lime-juicy Pacificos on the front porch, sometimes we like to class it up a little, put on our pretty sundresses, and throw ourselves a tea party. Except instead of tea there's gin - lots and lots and lots of gin. And tea sandwiches, and a really pretty salad, all created by nogoodforme recipe developer Hallie Faben (whom you may remember from last summer's Tom Yum Pops, Samosa Salad, and Vegan Thai Pesto Slaw). Because we're so adorable, we're sharing all the recipes with you. Enjoy, and get in touch with any questions/praise.
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Friday , December 12, 2008
Best of Five: BATTLE OF THE CUTESY ANIMAL WINES
If there are two things I love in this world, they're the Beatles and myself. But, if I had to pick another two, they'd definitely be animals and wine. This month's installment of Best of Five with Laura Jane investigates the recent influx of animal-themed wine that have hit the consumer market. Sure, they're cute; sure, they get you drunk. But which, my friends, is the cutest and the drunkest? I am happy to report that you will find out soon enough.
Location of Origin:California
Classification: Pinot Grigio
Year: 2006 (Wine is weird. Before this exact second, I'd never really considered how creepy it is that when I drink wine, I am essentially consuming rotten fruit from two years ago. Barf!)
Price: $13.95 CAD
Alcohol Percentage: 12.5%
Cuteness Quotient: This shit is a little too much, even for me. Oh, is this "Patches'" Pinot? Well, whoop-de-doo. How invalidating. I'm not even allowed to own my own drunkenness; according to the "Dog House" vineyard, my current state of inebriation "belongs" to some dog from NoCal. Well, fuck that. I'm sure the real Patches is pretty cool, but the haute-adorable, sketchily-rendered little pupsqueak staring at me from my wine bottle is annoying the Helen Keller-vetica outta me right now. I thought Patches' Pinot was kinda cute back when I was sober, but what the fuck did I know? Sober Laura also thought it was a good idea to wear a faux-fur jacket in the pouring rain, and had the audacity to contemplate purchasing a $15 Christmas ornament shaped like a grasshopper from Pottery Barn. I hate Patches. Ew. This wine SUCKS. TOTALLY NOT CUTE. 19/100
Taste: Dude, I don't know! I drink to get drunk. Actually, fuck. Yes I do. This wine tastes like shit. It's really acidic, and not in the LSD way. I think I hate Pinot Grigio. How is this grapes? I can tell they're rotten. I feel terrible about my life right now. Some stupid dog from California is forcing me to drink battery acid; stop laughing at me, Patches! Patches is making me feel like an alcoholic because he tastes nast, yet I am continuing to drink him. Patches is an enabler. Patches could not taste worse if he tried. I hate you, Patches. 0/100
Quality of Drunkenness: Hi, Patches! Have I told you lately that I love you? Because I do. You're adorable, not to mention delicious. It is now three hours and half a bottle of you later, and I feel really chill. Patches-brand drunk feels like a really lovely midpoint between drunk and stoned. Maybe this has nothing to do with Patches and everything to do with my general fatigue, but then again, maybe it has everything to do with Patches. I fear that Patches and my relationship is becoming unnecessarily complicated. Do or don't I love Patches? God- or maybe Patches- only knows. 62/100
OVERALL SCORE: 27%
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Wednesday , October 22, 2008
nogoodforme in the City: The Bestest, Favoritest, Amazingest Vegan Restaurant in All of Freckin' New York City
Okay, to continually steal one of my favorite Liz Barkerisms, I am not vegan nor do I play one on television. So perhaps I am unqualified to rate a restaurant's true vegan-ness. But it is my very non-veganality (and therefore the ability to stack a vegan restaurant's overall qualities against their non-vegan equivalents) that allows me to say without certainty that Cafe Blossom, on the Upper West Side, is my favorite vegan restaurant in New York City -- and it's probably one of my most favorite ANYTHING restaurants as well. I've tried pretty much all the vegan eateries in the city, simply because 1. tons of my friends are vegans; 2. I've dated lots of vegan dudes; and 3. I just like vegan food in general, finding it to be quite creative and healthy. I could probably say something positive about every one of these other places: Candle Cafe, Candle 79, Counter, Wild Ginger, Pukk, Red Bamboo, etcetera and ad nauseum. (There's even a Blossom down in Chelsea, which is a bit more formal than its uptown sister and not as relaxed, although the food is still quite delicious -- Blossom in Chelsea is sort of more "foodie" like, but I honestly prefer a more casual atmosphere when I eat.)
by Kat in City Living
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Monday , October 20, 2008
Ask Y'All Anything: Snappy Breakfast Ideas I've been on this kick lately where I try to eat a decent breakfast, since "breakfast is the most important meal," as the infamous they keep telling me. I think it's true, though -- for the most part since being diligent about morning sustenance, I find myself a happier, more productive person when I eat a good breakfast. I don't get cranky, I work with more focus and life is just better overall. Yay, breakfast! But lately I find myself falling into the "yogurt-with-fresh-fruit-and-almonds" rut. It's not a bad rut to be in (especially since I discovered the amazingness that is Icelandic skyr recently. Skyr = YUM.) But ruts are still ruts. So, anyone out there got some kicky little breakfast ideas and recipes out there that aren't breakfast cereal or yogurt-based? What breakfast meals keeps you happy and zooming along in your life like a cheerful little bee?
Monday , October 20, 2008
Ask Y'All Anything: Snappy Breakfast Ideas
I've been on this kick lately where I try to eat a decent breakfast, since "breakfast is the most important meal," as the infamous they keep telling me. I think it's true, though -- for the most part since being diligent about morning sustenance, I find myself a happier, more productive person when I eat a good breakfast. I don't get cranky, I work with more focus and life is just better overall. Yay, breakfast! But lately I find myself falling into the "yogurt-with-fresh-fruit-and-almonds" rut. It's not a bad rut to be in (especially since I discovered the amazingness that is Icelandic skyr recently. Skyr = YUM.) But ruts are still ruts. So, anyone out there got some kicky little breakfast ideas and recipes out there that aren't breakfast cereal or yogurt-based? What breakfast meals keeps you happy and zooming along in your life like a cheerful little bee?
Saturday , August 30, 2008
Yum: nogoodforme's end-of-summer salad spectacular
Dudes, where did summer go? Seems like just yesterday we were dropping Beach Boys songs into the jukebox and prattling on about how the whole season's still stretched out ahead of us. And if I'd actually posted this post many moons ago like I'd intended, you could've been wowing your pals all summer long with your culinary magic, perhaps even crowned the belle of every backyard/rooftop BBQ. Sorry I dropped the ball on that. But the upside to my lateness is that posting these super-special summer salad recipes now just might be the perfect expression of end-of-summer denial. Besides, if you live in Southern California like me, then life generally feels pretty summery up until mid-October or so. And if you don't live in Southern California: Move here!
Like our legendary Tom Yum Pops, both salads were geniusly invented by nogoodforme recipe developer Hallie Faben. The one at left is a very clever spin on the traditional potato salad, inspired by all the goodness you'd find stuffed inside some golden-crispy samosa at your favorite Indian restaurant. The other's a Thai-influenced take on cole slaw, all peanutty and spicy and vegan to boot. As always, feel free to email Miss Faben with any questions. Buen provecho!
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