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Wednesday , February 17, 2010
How to Live, Album Edition: 8 Life Lessons Gleaned From Led Zeppelin's Houses Of The Holy
(Unlocking the secrets of the universe, with the help of records made a million years ago. In this edition: Houses of the Holy by Led Zeppelin.)
I. SUNDAYS ARE FOR SEX ROCK. For about 16 years it's been my opinion that "mystical sex rock" (a la Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, The Doors, etc.) tends to sound scads better on Sundays. And right now you're all like, "Barker, that's totally just you attempting to escape the repressiveness of your Catholic upbringing by sullying the holiest of days with sexually charged lyrical content and a fuckload of hotly masturbatory guitar solos." But, actually, Miss/Mr. Know-It-All, I think it's got more to do with how sex rock's a sweet antidote to that bullshit depression that sometimes sets in on even the sunniest of Sunday mornings. In some interview published a million years ago, either Evan Dando or Juliana Hatfield cutely dubbed it "that Sunday kind of yikes" - but since I can't find that interview online anywhere, I'll instead refer you to our sixth-ever Heavy Rotation, in which LJ expounded on the suckiness of some Sundays.
Anyway: "The Song Remains the Same" is textbook mystical sex rock, maybe the dreamiest of the lot. Try it with an early-afternoon plate of buckwheat pancakes and some blackberry preserves, plus a cup of lavender earl grey with soymilk and honey, perhaps in a botanical garden or underneath your next-door neighbor's grapefruit tree. And then afterwards you and your snugglebug can practice casting spells and summon up some black-silk-canopied bed for a nice round of mystical boning - exquisite!
II. EVERY STARRY-EYED GIRL NEEDS A SURROGATE BIG BROTHER TO GET STONED WITH ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. I used to have one, and I don't anymore, and it makes me sad. But it was lovely while it lasted, and one of my favorite memories is that time we were sitting around the living room some boring weekday night and "The Rain Song" was on the hi-fi and he sang along so perfectly at the "I cursed the gloom that set upon us..." part (which, of course, is the best part, one of the most magical parts of any song ever written, "IMHO"). For a long time I had this rule that I couldn't listen to "The Rain Song" very often because it's too special and I don't want to spoil it, but sometime last week I smashed that rule to smithereens. I'll play it every second of every day if I want to. Like now.
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Tags: Andrew McCarthy, Barker loves the Beatles, Cadbury Mini Eggs, Capricorns, dinner parties, DJ Black Eyes, dreams, grapefruit trees, guitar riffs, Jane's Addiction, jars, Jimi Hendrix, Jimmy Page, lavender earl grey, lions, marijuana, Mary Timony, my dude friends are cool, overcoats, pancakes, personal music stylists, Robert Plant, rock and roll, sex, Sex-Rock Sundays, sexism, surrogate big brothers, textbook sex rock, The Beastie Boys, the Easter Bunny, The Little Mermaid
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by Liz in HOW TO LIVE, ALBUM EDITION
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