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Tuesday , August 24, 2010
Imaginary Shopping Spree: Gorgeous Clogs By There Goes The Neighbourhood!
File this under more of my Spiritually Scandinavian thing: these are the most amazing clogs I've ever seen in my entire life! Designed by Asa Westlund, There Goes the Neighborhood takes your basic Swedish clog and turns them into works of art. Each pair is hand-painted and unique! Sadly, this shopping spree will have to remain in the realm of the imaginary for me, unless some superawesome reader in Stockholm wants to track these down and buy them for me? Yes? Is the Internet as magical as I've heard?
Wednesday , August 18, 2010
Imaginary Shopping Spree: Nine-Year Old Boys Are The Ultimate "Effortless Chic" Icons
It's one of the weird Holy Grails of fashion to look like you don't try too hard, like you just wake up in the morning and grab some shit in the dark and still manage to look faaaabbbbuuulllooouuuusssss. The truth of the matter is that "effortless chic" is a lie, even if you are a Balenciaga muse and you never brush your hair. If you really want to look all "effortless" and "unstudied," you should be emulating the style of nine-year old little dudes! No one has ever accused a nine-year old boy of "trying too hard" when it comes to getting dressed. To judge from my own nine-year old nephew, he just tosses on whatever as fast as possible, shovels breakfast in his mouth and then rushes downstairs to play video games all day. His and his buddies' default fashion choice are jeans, high-tops and t-shirts that are hilariously "EXTREME!!!" in their graphic choices and font selections. Make sure your commitment to personal grooming is equally lackadaisical and be obsessed with playing Modern Warfare 2 as much as your mother will humanly let you and voila! Effortless chic, complete with effortless lifestyle!
Below, some boys t-shirts from Target. This is as much "fashion" as a nine-year old boy can stomach, plus kids' shirts are all cheap. (As a grown lady, I buy the larger sizes, which works for me, as I am not endowed with an ample bosom. If you can't cram your boobs into a kid-sized t-shirt, look for stuff with robots, dinosaurs, surfers, skaters or astronauts. Kiddos love astronauts. Or cram your boobs into an astronaut t-shirt anyway. I'm sure that works, too, on some level.)
This is my nephew Julian. T-shirt says it all!
Monday , August 9, 2010
Imaginary Shopping Spree: A (Jeremy Laing) Black Dress to End All Black Dresses
There are many great things to come out of Canada: poutine, Laura Jane Faulds and, for the purposes of this ISS, designer Jeremy Laing. I'm psyched that his stuff is now on La Garconne, because before the only place I could find his stuff was in dreadfully intimidating boutiques here in NYC. Happily, websites don't scare me, so I can look at this dress all I want without feeling like someone's giving me evil vibes. Artful, smart draping, graceful silhouettes, beautiful material? All signs point to YES. I have too many dresses already (and too many black ones) but this one would fit in nicely with my whole "Art School Girls of Doom" schtick that I return to again and again. (P.S. - This model looks so sad and grumpy. Someone give her some ice cream, she must be hungry!)
Thursday , August 5, 2010
Imaginary Shopping Spree: The Sexiest Beatle Boots EVER
It's sort of weird to me that my favourite blog in the world right now is a men's shoe blog, but hey- I like men, I like shoes. It makes some sense. My favourite blog in the world The Shoe Buff recently posted this kind of disappointing blog post called "11 Shoe Styles Every Man Must Own", which I kind of disagreed with, because a) it included boat shoes and b) 11 pairs of shoes seems like a pretty extreme amount of shoes, for a dude (unless he's rich). As far as I'm concerned, all any man needs is one cool pair of sneakers, one functional pair of sneakers, one pair of flip-flops (though every other woman in the world disagrees with me on this point, but I don't care, because I know I'm right), something to get him through the winter if the sneakers don't, and one pair of Beatle boots.
And why not make them these Beatle boots, since they're the sexiest? I bet it would make the real Beatles sad to find out how totally non-sexy their own Beatle boots were. Poor the Beatles. They really suffered sometimes.
Tuesday , July 27, 2010
Imaginary Shopping Spree: The Most Perfect Dress in the World
If I could only wear one dress, every single day, for the rest of my life, I would definitely pick this asymmetrical black linen jersey thing from Creatures of Comfort. I could wear it while illegally drinking beer in a park when I was twenty-five; I could wear it to the opera when I'm eighty. I could wear it gardening, writing, out to dinner with Yoko Ono, as pyjamas, and maybe God could bend the rules a little bit so I could wear it in white on my wedding day. This all sounds so perfectly fine and amazing that I'm beginning to wonder why I don't just give up on all other clothes entirely and make this dream a reality. Salud, Minimalism!
by Laura in Imaginary Shopping Spree
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Monday , July 26, 2010
Imaginary Shopping Spree: Razzle Dazzle Tap Shorts by Alexandra Grecco When I'm filthy rich and have finally completed the David Lee Roth-ification of my wardrobe, I will not wear these shorts with my imaginary black-sequined combat boots: I will alternate, and wear the shorts every other day. And my hair will look just like the model's hair, at all times, only without the bow, and I'll also have those red red lips. P.S. Alexandra Grecco also makes these adorable rompers, which have nothing to do with David Lee Roth or sequins or tap dancing or anything razzle-dazzle-y but I want one anyway, so much. So much!
Monday , July 26, 2010
Imaginary Shopping Spree: Razzle Dazzle Tap Shorts by Alexandra Grecco
When I'm filthy rich and have finally completed the David Lee Roth-ification of my wardrobe, I will not wear these shorts with my imaginary black-sequined combat boots: I will alternate, and wear the shorts every other day. And my hair will look just like the model's hair, at all times, only without the bow, and I'll also have those red red lips.
P.S. Alexandra Grecco also makes these adorable rompers, which have nothing to do with David Lee Roth or sequins or tap dancing or anything razzle-dazzle-y but I want one anyway, so much. So much!
Wednesday , July 21, 2010
Imaginary Shopping Spree: Imaginary Laura's Imaginary New Uniform
Do you ever make up stories in your head about your future self being all awesome and a famous writer and rocking the shit out of life like life's shit has never been rocked before? I sure do! Do you have an imaginary outfit that your imaginary famous future self wears and looks really hot in? I do! Up 'til today, my famous writer future self of my reveries always wore a loose-fitting black silk short-sleeved button-up, great jeans, thigh-high brown suede stacked-heel boots, and very big long hair. But from now on, I'm going to start fantasizing excuslively about my famous writer future self wearing the Stella McCartney Resort 2011 look seen above. Hells yeah! Has anyone ever accepted a Nobel Prize in Literature looking so goddamned adorable? Take that, Jose Saramago!
Tuesday , July 20, 2010
Imaginary Shopping Spree: Jennifer Herrema for Volcom (But Not the Raccoon-Tail Jeans)
Jennifer Herrema often wears a raccoon tail, as you can see in the above photo, which has nothing to do with her new line of jeans for Volcom. The collection's super-limited-edish - only 300 pairs, including these raccoon-tail jeans which I do not want. No one but Jennifer Herrema should ever wear raccoon-tail jeans, is how I feel about things. But I absolutely want all the 12 other pieces, some of which feature fabric that came from a pair of jeans Jennifer had when she was 16. Here's a few lookbook pix:
Monday , July 19, 2010
Imaginary Shopping Spree: Spooky AllSaints Skull Tees
What can I say? I'm into controversy. If something's "in poor taste," I probably love it.
I just want to wear t-shirts with pictures of dead people all over them, and then I want to talk loudly about blow jobs in public places. One controversial thing I've said on this blog that I'd like to take back, though, is that I'm going to name my first-born daughter Lucifer. The other day, I was drinking sangria with a crazy homeless woman (THIS REALLY HAPPENED!!!!), and she told me that her soul used to belong to the Rolling Stones.
"That's cool," I said, "I know the feeling. My soul kind of belongs to the Beatles."
But then she told me she renounced the Rolling Stones forever, because Mick Jagger and Keith Richards "murdered Brian Jones' mind."
"I agree with that point," I said.
Then she said she thinks the Rolling Stones might be Satanists. She's not entirely sure, she admitted, but- "Sympathy for the Devil"? Their Satanic Majesties' Request? Both of these Rolling Stones titles imply that Satanism may be at play.
"I don't fuck around with Satanism," said the crazy homeless woman, "I always try to err on the side of God."
I thought that was so brilliant, so now I'm making a bit more of an effort to err on the side of God in my day-to-day life. As such, I'm not naming my first-born daughter after the devil anymore. Anyway, here are some pictures of some images from some minorly-offensive t-shirts that I found on asos.com the other day:
Thursday , July 15, 2010
Imaginary Dude Shopping Spree: These Shorts are the Dealmaker to End All Dealmakers
Hi! Are you any dude, in the entire world, wearing these shorts? That's awesome. Welcome to our new long-term committed relationship!
PS: I'm in love with you