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Friday , June 5, 2009
Laura Jane Campaigns: MY QUEST FOR A DREAM JOB/"LAURA JANE FOR SALE"
"Working" is my least favourite thing in the world, unless we are talking about Opposite Day here, which we are not. Every job I've ever had has sucked, and subsequently, has led to depression and emotional instability. So, for me, having a job is kind of counter-productive, since whenever I get one, I just get really fucked up psychologically, and then have to quit it and emotionally recuperate for a few months. Then I get depressed because I'm unemployed, and take another shit job that I hate and am over-qualified for out of desperation. Then the whole cycle happens all over again, over and over and over, forever.
Right now, I'm in the "desperate and unemployed" stage of the Laura Jane Job Cycle. I'm really not in the mood to get another terrible job at a terrible store that pays me minimum wage and exploits me. So, on Tuesday night, I made this video in my bedroom in hopes that maybe it will work in my favor, and Yoko Ono will call me tomorrow and let me know that she is down to have me be her new personal assistant.
This video is named LAURA JANE FOR SALE. It is a bicoastal collaboration between myself and nogoodforme Inner Circle member Emily "E.E Richmond" Richmond. I beg that you please pass this "film" along to anyone who can possibly help me score into a dream job, and ASAP.
PS: I never got around to handing out resumes to shitty coffee shops in Toronto on Wednesday, because I had insomnia/a hangover. Sadly, I have to do it today instead. The only reason I can in any way tolerate the impending doom of what I'm going to do, like, NOW, is because I get to party really hearty at a BFF's b-day tonight, so the intense awesomeness/intense shittiness of either activity kind of neutralizes my day.
By the by, check out my stupid "handing out resumes" outfit!
Can you believe what a boring loser I am? But don't I just scream "employable"!?! I'm even drinking a Starbucks! That's the number one way in the world to tell if somebody's a Normie! I could almost pass for a Capricorn! Hey! Hi! I'm sane! My favourite movie is "Garden State!" I listen to Lykke Li! I am in no way artistically-inclined! I hate smoking weed!
Tags: Emily Richmond, fuck jobs, help a brother out, I don't want to work ever, I hate work, insomnia troubles, jobs are lame, Laura Jane Faulds, nogoodforme.tv, Normie Bitch Chic, Normie chicks love Lykke Li, Normies, sanity vs. insanity