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Monday , January 26, 2009
LJ ON JL: Weeks 4-5; Chapters 10-12
(Wherein ngfm's resident Beatlemaniac Laura Jane Faulds shares a weekly round-up of fun anecdotes and oddities gleaned from Philip Norman's John Lennon: The Life. For more information on what the Helter Skelter this column is all about, please click here)
Seen above is a triptych of The Holy Grail of John Lennon Father Figures- from left to right: the incomparable Brian Epstein looking cute in a "Stamp Out The Beatles" t-shirt; the unstoppable Aunt Mimi; George Martin, the classiest dude ever to have walked the face of the Earth
+ Ironically, John Lennon was the only Beatle NOT to be deported from Hamburg (this is ironic because, as we all know, our boy Johnny was a bit of a troublemaker). However, once the rest of the Beatles left, he had no choice but to follow the boys back to Lidz ("Lidz" is my new nickname for Liverpool, by the by). A good quote from Later-in-life John about this period in his life:
I withdrew to think whether [playing music] was worth going on with. I was always a sort of poet or painter and I thought, "Is this it?" Nightclubs and seedy scenes, being deported and weird people in clubs? You see, part of me is a monk and part of me is a performing flea.
+ A preferred pastime of JL and Gerry Marsden of Gerry and the Pacemakers (as reported by Marsden himself): "Reading the Bible backwards, putting in our own made-up words and doing funny voices." That sounds fun. I'll try it sometime.
+ In 1961, Paul McCartney briefly held a job at an electrical coil-winding firm called Massey & Coggins, where he was immediately singled out as being "potential management material". Like, no shit! Can you imagine being some crappy electrical coil firm in Lidz and then having Paul McCartney come work for you?!? You'd be like, "Yo! Make this kid CEO, like, STAT!"
+ Continue reading "LJ ON JL: Weeks 4-5; Chapters 10-12"
Tags: Aunt Mimi, Brian Epstein, drugz, gangster's molls, George Martin, Gerry and the Pacemakers, John Lennon, Laura loves The Beatles, Lidz, LJ ON JL, Paul McCartney, potential management material
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Monday , January 12, 2009
LJ ON JL: Weeks 2-3; Chapters 5-9
(Wherein ngfm's resident Beatlemaniac Laura Jane Faulds shares a weekly round-up of fun anecdotes and oddities gleaned from Philip Norman's John Lennon: The Life. For more information on what the Helter Skelter this column is all about, please click here)
from left: The Guy With The Cock In His Voice; the Sputnik satellite; Buddy Holly; Hamburg Painting No. 2 by Stuart Sutcliffe
+ At early Quarrymen gigs (FYI: before the Beatles were the Beatles, they were the Quarrymen), John Lennon would often "go at his guitar so hard" that he'd break a string. When this happened, he'd hand the guitar to his bandmate Rod Davis, steal Rod Davis' banjo, and play it while Rod Davis changed his guitar string for him. God! You're so sexy and confident, Teenage John Lennon!
+ Once upon a time, a long long time ago, there was a popular singer named Rudy Vallee whose nickname was The Guy With The Cock In His Voice. Isn't that hot, kind of? It must have made Rudy Vallee feel like such a playa!
+ When Frank Sinatra played NYC's Paramount Theater in 1947, it was discovered post-show that dozens of bobby-soxers actually urinated themselves due to Sinatra-related excitement. That must have made Ol' Blue Eyes feel like such a balla! And also kind of uncomfortable.
+ When rock-and-roll hit the UK in the late 1950s, it actually triggered a NATIONAL GUITAR SHORTAGE. Like, get with it, England!
+ John Lennon on copulating with his teenage girlfriend and getting his ass bit up by aphids: "THAT WAS A GOOD LESSON IN KARMA AND/OR GARDENING."
+ Philip Norman is a weird writer. He just described alterations tailors as being "the sartorial equivalent of the backstreet abortionist."
+ At age fifteen, Paul McCartney was the only pupil in his class able to spell the word "phlegm".
+ John's Aunt Mimi initially took a dislike to Paul McCartney because he would choose to sit on a kitchen stool at teatime, as if, in her words, "He always wanted to look down at you." Chill out, Aunt Mimi! Dude's, like, fifteen years old!
+ When John would receive his university grant money from the Liverpool Art Institute, he would exchange it all into half-crowns, turn off his bedroom lights, and throw it up in the air so that, when he was broke weeks later, he would find them and feel rich.
+ One of Late Teenage John Lennon's favourite pranks was to walk into predominantly white pubs and holler "Right! ALL FOREIGNERS OUT OF HERE!"
+ When Ringo Starr played for Rory Storm and the Hurricanes, their set included a special solo set billed as "Starr Time". Additionally, mad-sexy lead singer Rory Storm was wont to punctuate his performances by climbing up rafters and hanging 40 feet above his audience from the ceiling. Clearly, Rory Storm and the Hurricanes were the greatest band of all time.
+ Continue reading "LJ ON JL: Weeks 2-3; Chapters 5-9"
Tags: Buddy Holly, Frank Sinatra, George Harrison, John Lennon, Laura Jane Faulds, Liverpool, LJ ON JL, nostalgia, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, skiffle, Sputnik satellite, Starr Time
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Monday , December 29, 2008
LJ ON JL: Week 1; Chapters 1-4
This week, I finally began reading Philip Norman's John Lennon: The Life, the "seminal" and/or "definitive" JL biog that recently popped up (click here to check out our recent Gift Guide post about it).
Most People are most likely not tearing their out hair in excitement over committing to an 817-page tome (in hardcover, no less!) chronicling the infamously-obnoxious life & times of some deceased Liverpudlian whose name isn't even tattooed on their body; this is one of the countless reasons why Most People kind of irk the John Winston Lennon outta me. Never-the-lesser, I am a very forgiving human being, and have decided that I will make Most People's lives easier, entertaining, and more Lennon-centric by providing y'all with periodic updates highlighting the most interesting tidbits I've gleaned from John Lennon: The Life over the course of the past week. Enjoy! I'm happy I've been able to spare you the massive inconvenience of having to carry that book around. It gives you shoulder-bruises. And never forget:
When life gives you lemons, make Lennon-ade!
l to r: The Daily Howl, Adolescent John Lennon's "zine"; The Goons Live; The Magnet; a James Thurber-drawn dog
+ When John Lennon was a wee bairn, his nasty deadbeat dad, Alfred "Alf/Freddy/Freddie" Lennon, took him "Crimbo" shopping across Liddypool proper. As tends to be the case with corporate environs, every department store in the entire town advertised that Santa Claus would be hanging out at their shop. "How many Father Christmases are there??" asked mini-John. Wow! You're so shrewd, Baby John Lennon!
+ Baby John and his caregivers, Uncle George and Aunt Mimi, had a black-and-white cat named Samuel Pepys. Wow! You're so literate, Baby John Lennon!
-+ Childhood John Lennon and his rascally buddies would, for a prank, run into Marks & Spencer and scream "WOOLWORTH'S!!!" which is perfectly unfunny in that lame kid way.
+ A Lesson Learned: One should use all one's intelligence to be unbelievably silly.
+ Sometimes Aunt Mimi would throw away Adolescent John's drawings and poems because she saw them as distractions. Later in life, John said, "I would say [to Mimi], 'You've thrown my fuckin' poetry out and you'll regret it when I'm famous.' I never forgave her for not treating me like a fuckin' genius." John Lennon- I like your attitude!
+ What the Helter Skelter is the deal with old-timey British people giving themselves or others stupid, nonsensical nicknames? Here are all the weird ones that have come up so far:
-John Lennon's Aunt Anne: Nanny
-John Lennon's Aunt Elizabeth: Mater
-John Dykins (John Lennon's Mother's Boyfriend): Bobby Dykins (WHY BOBBY? WHY NOT JACK?)
-John Lennon's Childhood Home: Mendips
-Sir Paul McCartney: Macca
Personally, I would kill myself if my name was Elizabeth and I had to be known as Mater. Should I start calling Elizabeth Barker 'Mater Barker'??
+ Continue reading "LJ ON JL: Week 1; Chapters 1-4"
Tags: Adolescent John Lennon, Baby John Lennon, Childhood John Lennon, circle jerks, John Lennon, Laura Jane Faulds, Laura loves the Beatles, Liddypool, rascally behavior, Teddy Boy Renaissance, The Daily Howl, The Goons, The Magnet
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