Wednesday , March 10, 2010
Flashback to 1985: Madonna Eats Out Of Garbage Cans, Maintains A Lint-Free Belly Button

So the complete archives of Spin magazine are now available on Google books - every issue, in its entirety, ads and all. It's total porn for bonkers-nostalgic rock-nerd girls like me, I'm trolling through each issue one by one starting with the May '85 premiere and it's just such a trip. A few highlights from that first ish: an interview with U2, whose lead singer's this dude by the name of "Bono Vox"; a David Lee Roth-authored column on how to pimp your lowrider; a really amazing Pontiac ad starring Hall & Oates; plus some back-page story about this sorta-new band called the Red Hot Chili Peppers who say lots of stupid stuff but hey maybe they're really going places! And, of course, there's the cover story on Madonna, who is 26 and writes all her songs "with aerobics in mind" and so wins the Liz Barker award for "Best Madonna Ever." Some good quotes:
"WHEN WE'D RUN OUT OF MONEY, I'd pass by the garbage can in the lobby of the Music Building, and if it smelled really good - like if there was a Burger King bag sitting on top that someone had just deposited - I'd open it up, and if I was lucky, there would be French fries that hadn't been eaten. I'm a vegetarian, which is why I didn't eat the burger."
"MY FAVORITE BUTTON IS MY BELLY BUTTON. I have the most perfect belly button: an inny, and there's no lint in it. I never wore a jewel in my belly, but if I did it would be a ruby or an emerald, but not a diamond. When I stick my finger in my belly button, I feel a nerve in the center of my body shoot up my spine. If 100 belly buttons were lined up against a wall, I could definitely pick out which one is mine."
"I WAS NEVER A GIRL SCOUT, but I was a Campfire Girl and a Brownie. Campfire Girls had the cooler uniform. I was never good at being part of an organization. When I was a Brownie, I ate all the cookies. When I was a Campfire Girl, I'd camp out with the boys and get into trouble."
Tags: 1985, belly buttons, BONO VOX???, Burger King, David Lee Roth, Girl Scouts, Madonna, magazines, Red Hot Chili Peppers
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by Liz in Nostalgia
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Tuesday , July 14, 2009
Blast from the Past: Sassy's "Dopey Fashion Poses"
Someone on my Twitter feed Twitpic-ed this the other day, and I sweetly sighed for my youth gone by. None of these poses seem all that dopey to me anymore, which is funny, maybe. My favorite is the "Garfield on the car window," mostly because it makes me want to put a Garfield on my car window. My second favorite is the "dry shampoo," which makes me want to dry shampoo.

Tags: dry shampoo, fashion, Garfield, magazines, Sassy, Twitpics, Twitter, youth
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by Liz in Nostalgia
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Sunday , May 17, 2009
A Look Back at Dirty Dancing: Some Very Important Things We Failed to Pick Up On at Age 10
Last week, for the first time in at least ten years, I watched Dirty Dancing in its entirety. It's still really good! Frances "Baby" Houseman is one of the toughest teen-movie female leads I can think of; she's brainy and quietly sassy and takes no guff, even at the risk of coming off like a total stick-in-the-mud every now and again. And I dig that they chose pre-nose-job Jennifer Grey instead of having some conventionally hot actress rip off her glasses and let her hair down halfway through the movie. On the contrary, Baby's transformation is impressively subtle; she basically just starts wearing lipstick and doing that thing where you roll up the bottom of your t-shirt and then pull it through your neckline to achieve a rugged, down-home kind of sluttiness. Fierce!
Another thing about Dirty Dancing is it's not very dirty. It took me a while to convince my mom to let me see it, since all moms in the world were sure it was going to be The Raciest Movie Ever and possibly the ruin of every girl who "came of age" in the late '80s. Now it seems pretty sweet and tame, even with all the grinding and talk of "balling" (eww - I'm so glad that word means something else these days). In celebration of the movie's 22nd anniversary, which will take place about three months from now, here's a few more observations on Dirty Dancing:
1. MRS. SCHUMACHER IS SO THE STAR OF THE SHOW

What a little spitfire! Who would've guessed that this itty-bitty giggly grandma was wanted for theft in multiple states? Mrs. Schumacher was actually my number-one inspiration for this post, sort of: A little while back Rich gave her props on an installment of "Pot Psychology", and since then I've been hoping to spill the contents of my handbag all over the place just so I can sigh, "Such junk...such junk...!" Rich's impression is really good, FYI, and you should watch it right now (starting at around 0:28 of the vid below):
2. "NOBODY PUTS BABY IN A CORNER" IS NOT THE MOST QUOTABLE LINE IN THE MOVIE - NOT EVEN CLOSE

Neither is "I carried a watermelon," or "Go back to your playpen...Baby." In general, when quoting mega-popular movies, the more obscure the line, the greater the comedy factor. (For instance, never reference the Bill and Ted movies by shouting, "EXCELLENT!" or "69, dude!" - always go with a delightedly surprised, "I totally possessed my dad!" instead.) So next time you're out with a hot dude and he pulls some crazy stunt on par with bashing open a car window with a log, remember to throw your huge hair back and scream "You're WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILD!!!!" Then he will finally like you! Also, refer to all trampy married women as "bungalow bunnies," even if they don't live in bungalows. I myself live in a bungalow, and I promise not to be offended by the notion that all bungalow-dwellers are shameless tarts.
Fun fact: I totally own a "Nobody Puts Baby in a Corner" t-shirt; it's marbley-grey and soooo soft and I wear it around the house so much, my UPS man probably think it's the only shirt in my entire wardrobe. Dirty Dancing t-shirts + yoga pants: the uniform of freelance champions.
3. LISA'S A-OKAY

Yes, we all laugh when she sings her shitty rendition of "Hula Hana of Kamana Whala Hula Bay", and it's so bitchy when she tells Baby: "You wouldn't care if I humped the entire army, as long as they were on the right side of the Ho Chi Minh Trail." But at the end of the day Lisa's got a good heart, and - as I try to convince my little sister whenever we fight about whether or not Sharon Cherski is a big lame-o - that's all that really matters. I'm glad she didn't lose it to Robbie the Creep, and I hope she and Billy ended up getting together and opening up a divey beach bar on the Jersey Shore, or something. I also really dig the part when she goes, "Where is my beige IRIDESCENT LIPSTICK??!" because (a) I'm so the type of girl who's always losing stuff and then going all aggro-whiny on everybody when I can't find it, and (b) beige iridescent lipstick actually sounds kind of awesome.
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Tags: bungalow bunnies, Dirty Dancing, Flashdance, Grease, Hula Hana of Kamana Whala Hula Bay, Jennifer Grey, My So-Called Life, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Patrick Swayze, Pot Psychology, teen movies
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by Liz in Nostalgia
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Thursday , March 12, 2009
Random Video Entry: That One Girl in Those Terence Trent D'Arby Videos Do you remember the first time you ever were like, "I WANT THAT GIRL'S LOOK!" Not just a "Hmmm, she looks cool" kind of way, but in a serious fashion-manic craving manner that feels like a cross between a minor heart attack and an appendix breaking? For me back in the day, it was totally the chick in Terence Trent D'Arby's "Wishing Well" and "Sign Your Name" videos -- I thought her carelessly disheveled bob, leather jacket, dark lipstick and black dress were the height of awesome way back in the day. Funny thing is, I watched these recently and still think she looks beautifully elegant. Looking back on it now, these videos probably primed me in some oblique way to fall in love with French-y Godardian movie chic once that landed in my world years later. "Wishing Well": And "Sign Your Name": Three more things: 1. Wow, Terence Trent D'Arby (or rather, Sananda Maitreya as he calls himself these days) was super-pretty. 2. The record these songs are from -- Introducing the Hardline According to Terence Trent D'Arby -- is still incredible, 20 years later. It will probably never be resurrected in any hipster way, but the whole thing is full of modern yet gorgeously timeless neo-soul music that doesn't really have any equivalent now. 3. "Wishing Well" popped up super-loud on my headphones a few days ago, and this stunning, regal lady standing next to me on the subway totally bopped her head and gave me a thumbs-up. That's why I love New York, dudes.
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Tags: New York City, nostalgia, Terence Trent D'Arby, video vixens
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by Kat in Random Picture Entry
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