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Thursday , March 4, 2010
WHY I WANT TO GET LAID IN JAPAN, by Laura Jane Faulds
As I so brilliantly wrote on Tuesday, I wish there was astrology-themed everything. Perhaps a cool project for me would be to split up all the Beatles songs into different astrological categories, and then there would be an Astro-Beatles Mix for every zodiac sign! Yes. There is a 100% chance I'm going to do this. So that's something to live for!
Anyway, the other day I Googled something along the lines of "astrology + Japan," because I knew there was no way in Hell, or Japan, such a Google search wouldn't pay off. It paid off!
In Japan, they sell astrology-themed condoms! THAT IS SO COOL. Last Monday, I Twittered, "In Japan, they sell astrology-themed condoms, so sign me up. For having sex in Japan," and then Anabela @messaged me saying "I wonder if they have compatibility charts on them. All like "Do NOT stick it in Virgo." The Twitterverse collectively LOLed. Anabela is an inspiration. I took the joke and ran with it, Twittering such astro-sexy gems as Congratulations on making it with a Scorpio! Get ready for some seriously FUCKED UP SHIT and Oh that's cool that you're boning a Cancer. She's going to think you're her boyfriend tomorrow and Yay! A Capricorn! I hope you like the missionary position!
Then I stopped myself, because I've only made it with so many Zodiac signs, and I wouldn't want to be a bitch to any air signs I may or may not have slept with. Here's the whole lot!
L to R: Aquarius, Pisces, Aries. Cutest: Pisces!
L to R: Taurus, Gemini, Cancer. Cutest: Taurus! Which is too bad. In real life, you couldn't pay me to sleep with a Taurus. Maybe in Japan, though
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